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Moms of 2+
Did you feel a big financial pinch in going from 1 to 2 (or more!)? We were talking this weekend about when to have a second. We'd like to have a second child at some point, but I feel SO nervous at the added cost of another in daycare. Our daycare is fairly resonable, but it's still a lot of money. They give a 10% discount on the older child's tuition, so that helps, but it's still a lot when combined. I had thought we'd wait til DD was closer to kindergarten, then we'd just have to cover daycare for one and after school care for another. But I have no clue how much that is. I hate that money plays a factor, but I want to make a good decision for our family as a whole. (Staying home for me isn't an option, unfortunately. I hold our benefits and they are MUCH better than DH's.)
Re: Moms of 2+
Obviously it depends on your financial situation which is different for everyone, but nearly doubling our daycare costs was definitely an adjustment. It is doable, though. I found, atleast for me personally that it was really the only financial issue that was impacted (except the medical bills because I didn't have maternity coverage).
Brinley was out of diapers before Nolan was born so we still only had 1 in diapers. And I found that I was much more relaxed and 'cheap" with #2. With Brinley I felt everything had to be new (silly 1st time mom!) and with Nolan I knew how fast they grew out of things and how little some things got used.
The one thing I wasn't prepared for with Nolan was how much more he ate, when compared to Brinley. When he was on baby food, he'd eat an entire pouch or jar (and then some) in one sitting. Brinley never ate more than a 3rd of a jar at a time. And she completely refused purees at 9 months. But really the cost was minimal.
Oh yeah - the cost of 2 in daycare is crazy. Basically, one of my paychecks (after paying benefits, 401K, car/auto insurance, and HSA contributions, goes right to d/c. So, I do still bring home one whole paycheck, which means it makes it "worth it" to work.
Somehow, though, we have made it work. We trimmed our budgets elsewhere; I've taken on some more freelance work (and this year, because of our big vacation to visit family abroad, I took on a p/t job as well); and DH has pushed to get more over-time at his job.
Now, with #3 coming, I'm looking to adjust my job to a f/t job, but with p/t remote capabilities. This will be a "raise" because it will save on gas, parking, lunch or coffee out, and extended care for Gavin a couple of days a week. I am lucky to have a flexible boss (and company) and one f/t colleague who WFH f/t out of state. We're currently in negotiations. LOL
I'm also looking into a babysitter/Nanny versus daycare, as we are friends with one of the boys' old d/c teachers (who is now a SAHM) and she has shown interest in making some extra $.
It's scary but, again, somehow we make it work. We really don't take vacations, go out to eat, and DH is handy enough to be able to save us $ on fixing things around the house.
Good luck in your decision!
My three sons!
Going from 1 to 2 didn't seem that bad even through we had 2 in diapers for awhile. We don't do daycare and we had another girl (lots of hand me downs) so other than and double stroller and diapers, we didn't have much extra expenses.
Now, going from 2 to 3 would probably break the bank.
The biggest continuing cost was definitely having two in full time daycare. Heather's before and after school care is about one quarter of her daycare cost, so we definitely have more room in our budget now. Though we are starting to sign the kids up for activities (soccer, Spanish, etc) but we don't do more than one thing at a time.
The two biggest "start up" costs with Todd were the additional car seats (he reused the infant seat, but the rest were new) and his bedroom furniture. We also bought him a new baby monitor.
Two in diapers was a little annoying, but it made it worth it to buy the huge box of wipes. :-)
We don't have the daycare cost, but I'd say that outside of that it hasn't been a big financial burden going from one to two. Clothes have been the main expense, since we didn't have two of the same sex.
It does suck that finances have to play a role in your decision. For us, we had to wait till DD was independent enough to get herself in and out of everything unassisted (since I can't lift anything when PG). With Wes, that would be like now, but it took her longer. And then it took us a year to get PG.
Our boys are in daycare part-time (3 days/week), so our daycare cost isn't as high as some, but that was definitely the biggest expense (we make sure there is room for FT daycare expense for when my parents go to Florida in the winter or if watching the boys ever becomes too much for them, etc.). We also get a discount for more than one kid in daycare, and the cost generally goes down as they get older.
Outside of daycare, there weren't too many adjustments. One time big expenses were car seats and furniture. We had 2 in diapers for a year, but that wasn't too bad since Mason was older and didn't go through as many.
It's definitely a shock to the system with daycare. Paying $450 a week in child care was tough, because I looked at my paychecks after all the health deductions, FSA, 401K, etc, and saw how little I was taking home after daycare. It was depressing.
The move to jackson in the public schools this year was like a huge raise. Aftercare is only $230 a month, so we're saving a ton. I'm spending some of the savings on activities we weren't doing before, but it's still making our budget much happier.
With #2 I already had a ton of baby stuff, so there was a lot less cost in obtaining things, and since I had another boy, I was able to recycle a good bit of stuff as well, but even if I'd had a girl, she would have used the same bouncer, swing, etc, despite a boyish print
I'm late to this post, but ditto a lot of other posters. It was a huge financial difference, but it was manageable. Before we decided to go for #2, we really sat down & looked at where our money was going, crunched some numbers, looked at where we could cut back and went from there. Jake was out of diapers when Liam was born, so that helped. The rates in the daycare rooms go down as the child gets older.
So, it was an adjustment, but we made it as far as paying 2 in daycare....that being said, I am counting down the days until we're down to a single rate again!!! The cost of after school care is just a fraction of what I'm paying now.
But like others have pointed out, there's not nearly as much "stuff" to be responsible for the second time around. It was nice to not have to drop money on a crib, changing table, etc....
Jake - 1.15.08
Liam - 5.17.11