Relationships
Dear Community,
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Boyfriend....
So I have been with my BF for 4 years now. I am in love with him and I know he also with me. We always talk about getting married and having kids but he is not ready right now. My parents are pressuring us to get married or give him an ultimatum. Since nothing has happens through these years they do not like him. We did get into a huge fight (money situation) and I moved out of his house. I am just stuck. I don't want to give him an ultimatum because I want to be with him. I want to move back but I don't know what to do...... Ugh confused!!!!
Re: Boyfriend....
This is your life, not your parents's life.
I don't know your ages --- if you are perhaps young 20s, I advise you and he to bide your time go to school and get a couple of good jobs upon graduation -- and then work for a couple of years and save up a nice chunk of money.
While you're working and saving your money, each one of you get your own place: you get a single gal's apartment; he gets a single guy's apartment.
Learn to be independent.Live in the apartment (alone, not together) for a good couple of years.:)
After that, get married.
Tell you parents to butt the hell out. Learn to stand on your own 2 feet. GL
My husband proposed to me the day before our 5 year dating anniversary. We were married 18 months after that, at the age of 25.
Ultimatums are stupid. Either you love him enough to stay with him until he decides that he's ready to marry you, or you want to get married bad enough to leave him and look for someone on a more similar timetable as you are.
The fact that what your parents think is causing you this much grief leads me to believe that you are nowhere near ready to get married. I wonder if your boyfriend senses the same thing, and is still waiting for you to grow up before he moves forward with your relationship. I would be if I were him.
I agree with other posts. There's no perfect time frame for when to get engaged, other than when you and he are both ready. Anyone else who want's to impose their opinion don't really get a say, even if they are your parents (unless you're a minor, or totally financially still dependent on them). I'd say if you are happy with him, then it's worth staying and seeing where it goes.
Though I do have to say the fact that you moved out over an arguement about money is a bit of a red flag. You guys need to work on solving problems without threatening to move out/break up before you can think about getting married IMO.
We were dating for 7 years before getting engaged, and we lived together for 2 of those years. In the end we were dating for over 8 years before getting married. I too, was frustrated after 4 years and thought the same thing. But am so glad that I didn't do anything about it! Your family will always pressure you to do things in "their time," but trust me, this is a decision between you and your boyfriend. You two have discussed it, which means it's an option on the table, just not right now.
P.S. I had a family member tell me up until the day of our wedding, that he did not like how long DH and I lived together before getting married and of how we put traveling, school, our careers, and creating a home, first.
These are real life, adult decisions. Not things to take lightly.
TTC since 1/13 DX:PCOS 5/13 (long, anovulatory cycles)
Clomid 50mg 9/13 = BFP! EDD 6/7/14 M/C 5w6d Found 11/4/13
1/14 PCOS / Gluten Free Diet to hopefully regulate my system.
Chemical Pregnancy 03/14
Surprise BFP 6/14, Beta #1: 126 Beta #2: 340 Stick baby, stick! EDD 2/17/15
Riley Elaine born 2/16/15
TTC 2.0 6/15
Chemical Pregnancy 9/15
Chemical Pregnancy 6/16
BFP 9/16 EDD 6/3/17
Beta #1: 145 Beta #2: 376 Beta #3: 2,225 Beta #4: 4,548
www.5yearstonever.blogspot.com
~Benjamin Franklin
DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10