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Issue with my friend: WWYD?
I'm not a huge 'friend' person, I have about 4 close friends that I've known for years. I recently became friendly with my son's classmate's mom...she's sweet, though there are some things we don't agree on, but we're friendly and hang out occasionally.
So, recently, I feel she's started to overstep boundaries, but I'm not sure if it's me or what. She was going to drop something off at my house, and asked if my husband would be home (he works from home). I said yes, she said, "Great! Leave the door unlocked and just leave it in the kitchen, then Sean can help me rearrange the stuff in my car." Um, no. Sean is WORKING and doesn't have time to help you rearrange stuff during the work day. Then she asked for his cell phone number to see when he'd be available...I told her I'd be available between noon and 2 and she could come then or not at all. I didn't give her my husband's number.
We live across the street from a playground, and we met there one day to play...my husband called and said he had just gotten home. She heard me tell my son that daddy was home and asked if she could use my bathroom...I said sure let's go, and she was like, No, no, I'll take him...Can you stay here and watch Peter? (her other son)...She took about 20 minutes so I headed home with her and my son and she was in the office trying to chat up my husband while he was on a work call. She actually looked ANNOYED that I came home...I told her, very sternly, that we had to go out and it was time for her to head home. She looked embarrassed and left.
She's texted me several times about coming over or having a girls night, but yet, Sean is always welcome...I'm getting annoyed by her behavior.
WWYD? End the friendship? Keep a distance or am I being a jealous lunatic?
Re: Issue with my friend: WWYD?
Eeeee my red flags would be going off too.
Honestly, I wouldn't bother pursuing a friendship with someone I felt I had to keep an eye on or lie to all the time. That would be exhausting. Most of all, I wouldn't be friends with someone I didn't trust.
I would end the frienship.
Oh and I realize this has nothing to do with trusting your husband, but I still wouldn't bother.
When she asks why you're ending the friendship, tell her that her behavior makes you uncomfortable, and DH finds it creepy. Make she you point out that DH finds it creepy.
Nestie Bestie with the lovely RockABye
TTC since September 2012
Baby Boy loved for 15 weeks, 5/31/11
Baby Girl loved for 16.5 weeks. 3/1/12
Her husband works long hours in retail...she always complains about him and how he's never around. She also told me she was texting and chatting on Facebook with one of her exes, which made me raise an eyebrow...that is not okay in my book.
Friendship is over as far as I'm concerned and I will let her know why as soon as possible.
Eh- hold off on "letting her know". This is your son's classmates mom. You'll see her/ be around her in the future. Be careful what you do now.
Pull away, stop getting together, be "busy" a lot - but I'd be careful on a friendship ending conversation. Especially w/ someone this whacky.
~Benjamin Franklin
DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10
I third all of the above.
Stop hanging out unless the kids request it, like they are begging to see each other. Make sure it's at someplace away from your homes if you do. Maybe even involve other friends of your child from class. Talk to your H about your concerns and her behavior. Keep him in the loop.
End it. IMO friendships are built on trust and respect, neither of which I would associate with this woman's behavior. This has nothing to do with not trusting your H, you shouldn't have to be on the defense all the time with your friends. It reminds me of trying to play keep away.
Just distance yourself, you don't need her drama.
Honestly I don't care if my friends have DH's phone number or talk to him when I am not home or even think he is going to arrange their car for them. He is a perfectly capable of telling them no he is working. And we are all friends.
However, it sounds like she is trying to be alone with your husband and the whole looking annoyed thing is a red flag.