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Strange weekend with the In-laws
Let me know that I'm not alone here!
We spent the weekend with my Husband's family and it was an awkward nightmare. Once we arrived, my MIL gave be a big bag of "frame worthy" pictures of my Husband through the years. "Frame worthy" was her words, not mine. In this bag was at least 10 pictures of my Husband making out with an ex girlfriend. I was shocked, and blatantly asked, "Why would I want these?" The rest of the family was on my side and were all WTF about the pictures. She kept replying that "They weren't that bad!" Really? Those aren't frame worthy in anyone's world. My Husband says that there's not a mean bone in her body. Which may be true, but that is still rude and/or dumb.
The next day his Dad tried talking us out of moving out of state. That's fine, but then proceeded to tell us that we should live in my Husband's old bedroom. I don't know why he thinks we're poor and would rather live in a bedroom than a house in tropical weather (he's from CT, we're moving to FL) My FIL then began pressing me for stupid answers like "Why are there so many lakes in FL? Where's this place and that place? Where do the alligators live?" It was bizarre!
Then later that night, his whole family decided to tell us that we should wait 7-10 years after marriage to have kids. We've been married for a year, together for 6. I don't know how they got the clue that we were TTC, but I just sat there in silence. To be honest I felt bullied or picked on. Husband was freaking clueless and no help at all.
You guys have been through this right?
Re: Strange weekend with the In-laws
And I'm surprised your H didn't tell his mother to take a flying fook at the moon when she did this.
As I said --- the less you see of them the better off you and he will be. Gee, she's quite the photographer. She just managed to pop right up when that Kodak moment was right. Hah.
He kept responding that there's not a mean bone in her body. He said he figures the pics "accidentally" got there. He made me feel a little crazy and bad for thinking that she was rude and/or dumb. But he then told me how she calls every week to tell him what mail for him they had. He would always say to throw it all out that it was junk mail. She never would and would wait until he was over to show him AGAIN and he would then throw it out himself. So then that means she's not all that smart right?
My MIL does the same thing with the mail, even announcing LOUDLY at a family event that she has HIS mail. It's all junk, he doesn't want it and it is a muniplitive way for her to talk to him. No, I'm sorry, your MIL is not stupid. She knows exactly what she is doing and was hoping the pictures would start a fight between you and your H. Why else would she give those to you?
I handled my MIL by moving 1200 miles away, I suggest you do the same. Also, on the having children conversation, next time smile sweetly and reply "please stay out of my uterus and our sex life. This conversation/statement you made is creeping me out". That should STTFU.
Your MIL is so weird. Did you guys give her the WTH look ?
If she keeps up with this nonsense I would tell your husband to tell her to knock it off, because if he doesn't you will and you will not be nice about it. Why in the world would you guys want pictures of your husband kissing his girlfriends ?
This is perfect! I would say something like that, oh the looks I would get haha!
XMIL had her issues, but this crap was not on that list. SO's parents and my parents are great at minding their own business. Not that they don't get curious, but we have healthy boundaries and good relationships in place.
You have a PIL problem, sure. But you also have a clueless na?ve DH problem.
1. You're not crazy about the pictures. I don't buy that she doesn't have a mean bone in her body. It just may not have been obvious until a DIL was in the picture. Those pictures were meant to make you feel bad and/or start a fight with you and your DH. It's working, but not in the way she'd hoped.
2. FIL is odd. Great that he doesn't want you to move, but trying to get you to move into your DH's old bedroom? WTH? It's sounding more and more like your PIL are having issues that your DH is having his own life and family. Is he the youngest or oldest, by any chance?
3. Their comments on your reproductive life were way out of line. It seems that they're having issues letting go of your DH.
These are their issues, not yours. But your DH needs to grow a spine and tell them to back the hell off.
Pictures of anyone making out is awkward to me, but I have seen strange people do it. I think it is a combo of crazy and stirring the pot.
BIL has been asking/planning on having us move in with him and work at his job for the last three years. We always said "When hell freezes over." I think he is lonely since he moved away and can't express how much he misses his brother. I still think that he is insane for asking.
On TTC or parenting alone, people always have preconceived weird opinions to drive them to act like they have no sense. I get the wait/hurry up to TTC all the time. I always tell them to MYOB and ignore them after that. I'll have kids on my timeline, not theirs.
GL in FL... away from them!
He is the oldest, and we just found out that his brother (there's only 2 siblings) might be moving to Fl as well... This should be interesting.
If it helps, or maybe it's weirder.... MIL was the one who took the photos of him making out with his then gf. He was leaving for basic training at that time, so they were really going at it haha! All the other pictures of his girlfriends, he wasn't even in. I find it odd to have pics of these random chicks in the family album...
no i haven't been through that because 1) i wouldn't move to FL, 2) we dont want any kids and 3) i would've just given the photos to dh and told him to do whatever he wanted iwth them. wtf would i want with them?!
so you think him asking you questions about florida is odd? why? did he say that you should move to DH's old bedroom because you dont have any money or are you assuming that's why?
The whole pictures of ex-gfs business is nuts.
I agree that she knew exactly what she was doing.