Rhode Island Nesties
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Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Christmas Over-Gifting
So I posted this on family matter in depth. But basically the gist it, I think my MIL feels the need to keep up with the Jonses when it comes to Xmas gifts. And she always gets DH somthing that is unnecessary, large and not something we need or want or can fit in our home.
This year, she told me she got him a record player EVEN after I told her my brother was fixing up my grandfathers old record player and giving it to us... she said" no need for that old one..I am getting him a new one"...It's huge, and it was over $200!! (plus at least hte old one is smaller, table top one that has some kind of sentimental value)
I mean, really? We could use the $200 towards the new house (if we ever get it) or towards the plane tickets to go see them in February (which are around $1500 right now!)... or you know something useful. and you know, it would be nice if she all thigns into consideration instead of trying to buy her sons love. Like the size of our home, the decor, etc. I feel like sometimes she just tries to buy things to look like a good mom (orignally she wanted to get him a $300 karokee system but said she couldnt afford it because ONE time Dh mentioned that we had been going to karokee with friends sometimes and he loves it)
We don't have room for this huge thing in our tiny apartment. So we will squeeze it into the one closet we have, next to the ice cream maker she got us last year, and the humidifier she got us the year before. anyone else deal with over-gifters?
Now, I am annoyed because I made them an album from the wedding for a christmas gift and was just going to send small thougthful gifts to them, like their favorite candies and ornaments,etc.
This year, she told me she got him a record player EVEN after I told her my brother was fixing up my grandfathers old record player and giving it to us... she said" no need for that old one..I am getting him a new one"...It's huge, and it was over $200!! (plus at least hte old one is smaller, table top one that has some kind of sentimental value)
I mean, really? We could use the $200 towards the new house (if we ever get it) or towards the plane tickets to go see them in February (which are around $1500 right now!)... or you know something useful. and you know, it would be nice if she all thigns into consideration instead of trying to buy her sons love. Like the size of our home, the decor, etc. I feel like sometimes she just tries to buy things to look like a good mom (orignally she wanted to get him a $300 karokee system but said she couldnt afford it because ONE time Dh mentioned that we had been going to karokee with friends sometimes and he loves it)
We don't have room for this huge thing in our tiny apartment. So we will squeeze it into the one closet we have, next to the ice cream maker she got us last year, and the humidifier she got us the year before. anyone else deal with over-gifters?
Now, I am annoyed because I made them an album from the wedding for a christmas gift and was just going to send small thougthful gifts to them, like their favorite candies and ornaments,etc.
Re: Christmas Over-Gifting
Your MIL is everything I hate about Christmas. Overmaterialistic, giving you an unwanted, unneeded gift that she can't and shouldn't afford because she thinks it's brag-worthy. I'd see if you can return it or sell it if she insists on giving it to you.
My family is actually the opposite. I don't exchange gifts with my father anymore and his mother is a Jehovah's witness so she doesn't celebrate anything. My mom's side is the only group we do exchange with. We all have rough budget amounts for each person and generally stick to them (and the biggest budget is my grandmother's, and she gives $100 to each person in gifts and/or cash). We are allowed to ask for practical things if that's what we want, and as long as there's 1 gift to unwrap for each person, the remainder of the budget is gifted in cash. It stops unwated gifts and keeps everyone from overspending.
DH's family doesn't exchange gifts, as they don't see each other during the holidays and they are all cash strapped so buying gifts and shipping them all over the country gets pricey.
I think that next year I am going to take the initiative to stop this ridiculousness. I want to be able to say "we are hoping to keep the budget to $50 a person and we can give each other wish lists or things we truly need this season" or something along those lines... I am just fearful that if this continues over the years that at the point we have kids, she is going to be the type to buy that over-the top unnecessary expensive toy that makes a ton of noise that no parent wants in their house kind of thing. lol... I can't take one more expensive gift that is just junk to us and takes up space. I'm so sick of it!
Amy- I really like that you all have set budgets predetermined and that you are allowed to ask for things so that you don't endup with something you have absolutely no use for.
"It's not a sprint, it's a marathon." - Alex & Ani bracelet
My blog: Dodging Acorns
Kid gifts are definitely hard. My FIL, while he has very little involvement in our and DS's lives, decided to send him a few first birthday gifts. 2 of them were large wagons - one meant to carry around toys in the house (really don't have space for this in our home) and one for outside that seats 2 kids, has storage cubbies, and takes up a LOT of space. DH hates that thing taking up so much space in the garage, and it barely gets used because our neighborhood is not walking friendly and you can only go up and down the driveway so many times. And that's not even one of those loud obnoxious gifts and it still bothers us... :-/
Michele - I love that idea! If our family wasn't so small, I could easily see us doing that and all loving it.
Michelle! I love that idea. Because not only is it budget friendly and fun, but it means that you are putting in personalized attention and so much thought into someone's gift.
Amy I laughed when I read about the wagon-- this is something I can see my MIL doing!!! Just because something looks like a child or even an adult would love it and it's really cute or cool doens't mean it makes sense!
"It's not a sprint, it's a marathon." - Alex & Ani bracelet
My blog: Dodging Acorns