Family Matters
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Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
How long after you married did you have children?
If you were married, that is, when you had children.
I am 25 and fianc? is 27. We will get married when I'm 27 and he's 28. We were thinking of starting to try for kids when I'm 29 (so two years after marriage). I'm just curious how long people waited after they got married to have kids? I always thought it would be nice to be married for 5 years before kids, but I'd like to have my first child before/around 30.
Re: How long after you married did you have children?
Well, in my situation it depends. We got married at 26 and had our first child when I was 28. However, she passed away when she was 4 months old. We had our second child when I was 30 almost 31 and another when I was 33.
My husband is 6 months older than me.
Each relationship is different.
However, DH and I wanted to ensure that our marriage (even though we had been together for a long while) was secure enough before we brought the stressors of children into it.
We waited a full year before we STTC.
Well we've been married for 3, but haven't started trying yet. We plan to start in a year or so. I will be 29 or 30 and my husband is a year older then me.
That said you need to do what is right for you. What are the things you would like to have done before having kids? We wanted to have a house, do some traveling and be financially secure before starting to have kids. I would make a to do or list of goals you would like to have done, and then plan around that. I don't think your timeline sounds crazy in anyway, it actually sounds pretty reasonable as long as you have accomplished all the things you want to do before you start trying.
Unexplained infertility sucks. Good luck to you and your husband.
TTC since September 2012
There is really no right or wrong answer. Whatever works for you both.
Also, it's great to have an "ideal" timeline but be prepared for your plans to deviate - you may have trouble TTC, your finances could take a dive, etc. So just be realistic and prepared!
We waited 5 years before TTC and had our son a few months after our 6th wedding anniversary.
But we got married at 23. I wanted to have at least my first kid before 30 so this timeline would have been much different if we'd been older when we got married.
We were married 8 years; DS was born on the 10 year anniversay of our first date. I was 36 and DH was 46. I would have had children earlier but had some IF issues. Having 8 years as a couple was a real gift and having a kid to keep us younger has been as well.
Our situation is a little different from other posts. I had two kids from previous relationships and H had one and neither of us were married before. I am 39 and H is 36 and we are TTC but if we don't then thats OK too cause we already have three wonderful kids.
Same. We've been married for only about 5 weeks, but we've been together for several years, no kiddos.
My friends who do want kids all seem to be waiting for a couple years, to enjoy each other alone for a little while. I feel like that's probably a smart move, you won't have that alone time again until the kids move out, and then it won't be the same.
This is so true, and not just things that can move your timeline back. We've been married 3 years and were planning to start trying in January. However, because of some health problems I've had, we were encouraged to start trying ASAP. So, we're officially trying, as of November.