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Family Gifts
So, I just had a question to get a general sense of what's the correct way to go about this:
DH and I, and his two sisters, would like to go in together on a gift for their parents. We determined the gift and are now attempting to divide up how much each should pay. Sister #1 divided up the price counting my DH and I as 2 (thus, with a $120 gift, we would pay $60). My DH and I believe that, as we have one income, we should be counted as one (which is what has always happened). We're willing to put in an extra $10 or so, but feel that it would be unfair to contribute $60.
Thoughts? Is it more common to have a couple counted as two in things like this or as one? I just want to make sure we're not expecting something unrealistic here.
Thanks!!
Re: Family Gifts
I don't think $60 is worth arguing over but I treat couples as a unit (i.e. one contribution).
It's not as though you would have bought her a gift if you weren't married to her son, so you really shouldn't count as a separate person. It's fair to split the cost between the siblings that are buying their mother a gift.
I may be in the minority on this.
If the gift is going to be listed as coming from you, DH and each of his sisters, I actually feel you and your DH need to be counted individually. Your financial situation (having one income) isn't the concern of his sisters. If the gift is from 4 people, 4 people should contribute.,
You dno't want to put in $120? Then get them a gift just from the two of you for $60 - if that's your budget.
~Benjamin Franklin
DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10
A trip seems much different than a gift, no?
~Benjamin Franklin
DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10
That's a tough one. My family considers a married couple as one, so $60 would be appropriate and especially because you and your husband have one income. Other people may not see it that way, so either pay the $120 or get a gift from the two of you on your own.
TTC since September 2012
When we go in together for a gift, we figure each family unit as one share of the gift.
It gets silly when you start figuring that the XYZ family has a Mom, a Dad, and children so they're responsible for 4 shares and the ABC family has a husband/wife combo so they're 2 shares, and then the JKL family is just a single person so they're 1.
If there is an issue on figuring it out, go it solo and do your own thing.
It's still about numbers, but when you are talking a trip, and beds, car spaces, and food, the number of people take up an actual amount of space that has to be paid for. I would expect to pay for both my husband and I if we went on a family trip because we wouldn't be sitting in the same seat on the plane, in a car, sharing one meal between the two of us, etc.. As a gift though, we do family unit, my sister and I split gifts for my parents 50/50 (when we decide to do joint gifts). My DH name goes on the gift too. When we help pay for anything for his mom, we split the cost with his sisters fairly evenly although we usually contribute a little more just because we are fortunate enough to be able to, but they don't expect that, they split evenly and we usually offer to help a little more.
To be clear, I'm not arguing this to say people are wrong to include a couple as "one". If everyone in your family is fine w/ this, then have at it.
But in situations where someone does care - I think it needs to be looked at. To the above - honestly, that doesn't do anything to change my view. A trip has different factors at play, but still w/ a gift - if FOUR people are giving it, I don't see why FOUR people don't contribute.
To be clear- I'm talking about adults. Witty mentioned kids. I'm not talking about that. I wouldn't expect to count kids as an equal share in the giving of $$. Just like on a trip- kids aren't counted (in my group at least) until they require a room of their own.
My point is just that it's not a "given" that a couple should be counted as one. If no one cares, sure, do it. But if someone does - you have to step outside of this "we're a unit" mentatility sometimes.
~Benjamin Franklin
DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10