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Need advice on my dad's will
My dad and his wife have asked my advice on structuring my dad's will . I'm the oldest of his 5 kids . My sister and I (both married with kids) are from his first marriage . He' s still married to my step- mother, and has 3 kids with her, 2 are young adults, 1 still in HS . At the moment there are grandkids from me, my sister and step- brother. What is a typical structure for this type of situation? If he died before my step- mother is it common to give her control of all his assets or give, say 20% to me, 20% to my sister and 60% to my stepmom to ultimately distribute to my 3 step- siblings? We all get along really well, no drama or mistrust amongst us, but I've watched too many movies about fights over wills so I worry that my step- mother has no blood allegiance to me and my sister .
All advice appreciated .
Re: Need advice on my dad's will
I don't know what the extent of his assets are --- if he's pretty steeped in assets, he probably needs to see a CPA, also.
He needs to designate somebody as the administator/executor(trix).
As you said, people can sure get funky about assets after somebody dies. Hope he arrives at a solution amicable and suitable to you all.
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I'm pretty sure that all he has to do is word the will to include all his children on whatever needs to be split. When we did our wills we had it worded to say all children of this marriage, this way I felt if a child comes from outside our marriage it would have no claim to our assets from our marriage.
I think the best thing is to go with your father to see his lawyer and see what the attorney recommends. It may not be easy for his spouse not to have automatic rights to assets or insurance policies that he got while married to her. Your state maybe different but in Texas the spouse usually has rights to these if they happen in the life of the marriage.
Your dad would have to talk to his attorney, but there should be a way to name co-executors(I think there is a plural form but I don't know what it is right now). When my dad died, my brother and I thought about petitioning for me to be co-executrix alongside my aunt. My parents divorced a month before my dad died and my dads will hadn't been updated from the will he had done when I was 12 and my brother 10. The will said we wouldn't get our 1/2's until the youngest living child was 22, which would of been 4 years after he died since my brother had just turned 18. Since then he had started a coupe businesses that I worked with him in, but since I was 20, my aunt didn't think I was capable. Her being in charge and telling me how to run a business that I had been planning on running with my dad since I was a freshman in high school didn't sit well with me. 2 1/2 years later, our relationship is very strained and will never be the same. After a year of fighting and a couple screaming matches, she resigned.
I'm telling you this because before my dad died, my aunt and me had a GREAT relationship. Throw in a death of her sibling and me wanting to preserve what my dad built from the ground up, that great relationship went south in a hurry.
I think the 20/20/60 is a great idea. Death of a loved one has a way of showing a persons true colors and the last thing your dad would want is to have his children at odds with his wife. Splitting the way you said, or making you and your stepmom co-executors may prevent that.
I find it really strange that a wife, even a 2nd wife, wouldn't inherit all of her husband's assets after he died. Is this a lot of money? Did she come into the marriage with money, too? If she died, would your father be expected to split with anyone in her family?
I think spouses have an obligation to support each other in all kinds of ways. If one dies before the other, then the money and assets are used for their well being however they see fit, for as long as they live. If, after they both pass, there is money left, then it goes to the children - and that is great and a big bonus to the kids.
Viewing their assets as "his" and not "theirs" is a little disturbing for me. Unless their is some antimosity or issue, all of his money is her money, too. I supose they plan on using it to support themselves into a ripe old age. If your dad goes tomorrow, cutting her assets by 40% thereby forcing her to live on 60% seems cold. She still has a child in school, and her own retirement plans beond that.
Your father's money isn't meant for distibution to his 5 children upon his death. It's meant for his wife. And upon her death, to whomever she chooses. It is complicated that she may not want to leave any money to you and your sister, but that could happen (and does) even with biological children.
I think it would be perfectly fair If your father and stepmother agree to a make each a beneficiary of the other. Then stipulate in their will how they prefer to divide the rest if they die together or after the second person dies. Yes, she could change it as the surviving spouse. But that's what happens. With the signed wills, you would have a chance to contest her changes in probate, but that is its own process which may or may not work - if it comes to that.
I think going into this will discussion with an expectation that their money is your "father's" money and you deserve a 1/5 split upon his death is not the best approach. I think its fine to have some specific items designated, but the money is hers. Just like her money is his.
Personally, I think you and your sibling should be covered in his will in addition to his 2nd wife and any other kids he fathered. His estate doesn't need to go to any kids from his 2nd wife's prior marriages, UNLESS he legally adopted them as his own.
That aside, you are correct.
When I worked in banking and had to set up estate accounts (so executors could process peoples' finances, like paying bills, funerals, and dividing up assets, etc.) over and over again, family members come out of the "woodwork" to try and get a claim on the deceased assets.
The stories are crazy...."I'm in charge of this estate and distant cousins are popping out to squabble over $10k."
Seriously, it's ridiculous. Whatever is done, make it specific.
Don't all assets & money usually go to the surviving spouse?
OR I know of a few situations where Bob's business assets went into a trust, his wife Susan has control of said trust, upon Susan's death the contents of the trust will be distributed as stipulated in Bob's will. I'm pretty sure how that worked, but I think that was only with his business assets that were in his name only. Bob's house, car, cash, investments, etc all went to Susan.
Also, I personally haven't heard about grandkids in wills. Like having more grandkids means you get more money??? Grandkids seem pretty impossible to predict, especially with one kid still in high school. The only time I'd think grandkids would be in the will would be to say that if one of your dad's kids dies before he does, then their 20% would go to their heirs.
My parents are in the process of hammering out some changes in their estates. Whatever they ultimately decide, my siblings and I will know the contents of their will. After witnessing all the battles my extended family has fought over inheritances, my parents have decided to be completely transparent with us so at least we won't be surprised.
Good luck!
Yes, in many wills all assets go to the surviving spouse. I think if someone dies intestate (without a will), all assets automatically go to the spouse. This is because most assets are considered common to the marriage.
But if your dad wants to distribute something to the kids at his death and has assets separate from his wife's, he could say 50% goes to his wife, and the remainder is divided among the children, or children and grandchildren. It could be equally divided, or each child could get a full share and each grandchild a half-share.
Your dad should also check into trusts that will help protect the assets from inheritance taxes. I think he can leave everything to a trust that would support his wife after his death, then be inherited by the descendants divided in any way he sees fit.