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MIL Real Estate Agent
MIL has been out of work for about 3 years now. She took her real estate license exam and passed. She has been doing real estate part time for a little over a year now. Last year we were working with another agent and then FIL passed away and my husband (her only child) and I moved in with her to help her out. Now we want to begin looking for our own home again. I am not comfortable using her as a real estate agent. This past year has been a very tough and trying year for all of us. I don't believe she will have our best interests in mind and will only show us what she wants and not everything we would want to see (our styles are VERY different and she is the type it's her way or no way). My husband wants to use her because she needs the money and well, it is his mom. She refuses to do any other kind of work but just can't seem to make a sale either. I feel guilty for not wanting to use her but at the same time have a hard time mixing family with business. I also don't have the best relationship with her and am very uncomfortable around her. And I'm currently living with her.
Do I suck it up and go through her because she is family and does need the money? Or do I stand my ground and go with the other agent who I would be more comfortable with?
Re: MIL Real Estate Agent
This is a tough situation. Buying a home is a major financial decision- maybe the biggest you'll make, and working with a realtor is more than just them showing you houses, it's also taking advantage of their knowledge of the market when making an offer. You might end up offering too much when you don't need to or could lose out on a dream house by not offering enough. They can help with negotiations by adding things into the contract (i.e. repairs or concessions). If MIL hasn't made a sale, it doesn't sound like she has much experience under her belt.
Not sure if this would make a difference to you, but it would also involve your MIL knowing all the details of your financial life as credit reports are pulled, etc. Not sure how comfortable you are with that, but for me, that alone would be a deal breaker.
I see 2 options: 1. you and DH do a lot of research on your own (online, going to open houses, etc.) to get a better idea for yourselves of what houses you are interested in and how much you think is fair to pay for them, and then just have her handle the paperwork and collect the commission; 2. talk with DH and come up with an alternate way to help MIL that does not involve her being your agent, but realize this will probably do damage to your relationship with MIL
No way would I use her, buying a house is so personal and it has to be handled correctly. You never mix family and business.
BUT. This IS his mother. What you can do is sit her down with you and your H and tell her that you want to hire her but these are your concerns. Explain to her that you need her to treat this as if you are regular clients and conduct herself accordingly, show you all property in your price range and the final call is your and your H. Sometimes being blunt and honest saves headaches later.
Would your DH be willing to give her a deadline and if she fails to show you homes you would consider worthy would he be replacing her? You can look at homes and still use her as an agent, she would just get part of the commission. Even if you found the home yourself through multiple listings or open houses there is a way she could get something from a sale.
You already have a bad relationship not using her isn't going to make it better, but giving her a 'short' chance might. Just make sure your DH knows you will be contacting someone else if there is a failure on her part and he will be the one telling her it's not working out.
I wouldn't want to use her either. But the issue is that your DH does. Here's the thing, though - this is a HUGE purchase. HUGE. I just don't feel you all should be using this in order to get her some $$.
But if you do use her, do your own research. I don't know where you live, but if redfin.com is active in your area, use it. I found most of the houses that we looked at through redfin (our agent was useless).
At the same time, though... you have a bigger issue w/ your DH. If it's not this, it will always be something where he puts his moms needs before yours.
~Benjamin Franklin
DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10
Sorry no. You've already moved in and helped her out in other ways. Just because she is a struggling REA doesn't mean you should sacrifice your goals and desires, etc.
Put some distance with her here.