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Football fans
So my bf is obsessed with football. We've been dating for eight years and he really only became like this about two years ago. I come from a family of all girls and its very hard for me to understand how football can be so important. Today we have a wedding to attend at five but he said he will only make it to the reception unless the game ends early. These are not some of our closest friends and the invite was last minute (due to an address error), but I just don't get why he'd rather watch the game than go with me. We've been having some issues and I had thought attending this romantic event might be nice for us. This is also not the first event he has chosen to watch football rather than attend it.
I guess I'm just asking for some football fans to let me know were they draw the line when it comes to missing games and events that can't be changed. It makes me feel like I'm not as important as football and its really starting to bug me plus we have a 22 month old that is very hyper and its nice for him to be there to help me. I want to be reasonable, but like I said I don't have many ideas around this.
Thank you for any thoughts!
Re: Football fans
I was married to a guy who was the football fan of all football fans.
He watched every conceivable game on Sundays --- high school, college, pro -- and listened to the pregame shows halftime shows and postgame reports; he had the coach's shirt every year and he even had a lucky hat.
He knew every bit of team history and every piece of trivia there was, related to the team. He had every single piece of team memorabilia, tee shirts, sweatshirts, team jacket, you name it he had it.
He called every single play that the team had....he had a playbook and he collected anything and everything related to "his team." We even went to the Football Hall of Fame in Canton.
We had a wedding photo taken in front of "his" team's stadium.
You name it, the H did it.... if it was anything football...
BUT he never slighted friends and families by choosing to watch a game instead of going to their event.
I'll be straight up honest with you: If you do not like football, or care for it very much at all, get yourself another guy, and one who does not like sports of any kind; they exist.
There is a kiddo in the mix so this is going to be all the more difficult for you.
If you are not down with saying goodbye to him, you could try this, also: have somebody who is an impartial third party talk to him and see if that person can get your bf to see the light.
I suggest a friend who is a fan BUT a guy who is not as huge of a football fan as your bf is.
Only a sports fan can understand where this is at.
He can't slight his friends and family because of a game. That's straight away out of the question. GL.
I never got left on the shelf over a game. If we went to some bar and grill to see a game, we always included whoever wanted to join us.
I agree with PP, glad you two are looking into counseling. If you knew he was such a football fanic why did you A. Marry him & B. have a child with him? Neither of these two life events are going to automatically change him.
Also, you said so yourself that this invite came last second & you aren't best friends with these people. If I had something I'd been looking forward to and this came up I wouldn't want to have to change my plans. If you want a romantic night out plan it with him, leave the kid with a babysitter and have a real night out.
DH is a very big sports fan so we often rework what is an acceptable amount of sports watching based on what we have going on as a family. The key is to be open and communicate. You may not place the same amount of importance on football as he does but that does not mean it is ok for you to blow it off as an annoyance. In the same way the world doesn't stop b/c it is Sunday, he'd can't completely ignore his family. Maybe it works out that he gets 1 game a Sunday that you take point with your DD, otherwise he has to multi task.
As to the wedding you said it was last minute and not close friends, playoff implications are going on right now so I get not wanting to make a huge effort. Then again I make it a point to decline weddings in which I am not a good friend or family of the bride/groom.
It sounds like you have things to work on and I hope counseling is good for you both. If you don't like the person you are meeting with keep trying until you find the right fit. Also, you can plan a romantic night in, keep it simple and take the pressure off. Buy some wine for after DD goes to bed and sit around playing cards and talking. A big romantic night out may just add pressure on both of you even if that is not the intention.
Baby Boy loved for 15 weeks, 5/31/11
Baby Girl loved for 16.5 weeks. 3/1/12
I married a huge Seahawk fan! He says the Seahawks were his first love and he's not joking in the least.
That being said he tells me in advance when the weekly games are so we can plan around them and so I know what to expect from him during that time period (ie he won't be taking the trash out).
We don't skip church even if the game starts during first service. H won't skip out on previous plans.
GL with counseling, I hope that helps you two.
You could also become a football fan yourself. Most of the franchises used to host a "Football 101" that was specifically geared to women.:) I don't know if they still have that workshop.:)