Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Help! I need advice on where to buy!
Hello all! This should be an exciting time for my husband and I, however, I keep getting incredibly anxious!
I am a teacher, and my husband and I live in the same town that I teach in. It is a rural community, and my husband commutes 45 minutes to work in a city. The city is very nice and we love it there. His job requires a lot of extra hours a week at the office so that plus commuting means less time that we see each other. I get out of work at the same time everyday, and I get breaks during the year. Whenever we go shopping for anything, we drive to the city. Overall, if we live there we would be spending less gas a year than living in the rural town.
So we have decided to buy a house in the city. Now, of course I am incredibly nervous. I went to school for my job, its what I want to do, I love it, and I would be willing to look in the new city for a job (however art teacher jobs are hard to get). My husband doesn't particularly like his job- but he could transfer throughout the company, or look for other work in the city but the rural town does not offer anything he would be willing to take.
I worry about in the future having kids. My husband could stay at home, but then I would be commuting for nothing except for enjoying the city. I am worried about losing our jobs. I am worried that I am being irrational or making a bad choice. I do direct musicals in the spring- so I would be working later hours however it wouldn't add up to the amount the hubby would have to do.
Opinions or advice would be helpful. I really don't think the commute will be a problem, it is highway driving.
Thanks!
Re: Help! I need advice on where to buy!
Breathe!!! You have some good, legitimate questions.
What would ease your anxiety is to provide yourself with more answers, based on fact, not emotion.
1. Have you and DH looked in the job market yet in the city or its surrounding neighborhoods? If not, start there. What's available? Probably best to go into this home buying process with reliable income in the location you want to reside.
2. RE: children. It's smart you are thinking ahead for them. But don't overthink it. The best advice here is to plan to buy a home comfortably in your budget that provides the square footage a growing family will need. As a side note, many posters here regret buying a 2 or 3 bedroom home or townhome only to discover they have outgrown it and need to move, but cannot because of the housing market. Buy the home to suit your future family's needs.
3. Have you read Home Buying for Dummies?
4. Have you saved for your down payment (which is separate from your emergency fund)?
5. If it's likely you will be a single income family if one of you stays home to raise a family, then be sure to budget for your home purchase based on a conservative estimate of one income only.
It sounds like you have a lot to discover. It is exciting, but scary too. I understand. Keep a cool head and drown yourself in data. It will help clear your head of irrational worries. And don't put the cart before the horse. Moving to the city sounds great for so many reasons, but have the jobs there before you look to buy.
Thanks for your response!
About jobs- after we moved I would still be working at the school I currently teach at and commute. My day is shorter than his so I would be getting home when he finishes work. Right now, he commutes 45 minutes to the city that we want to live in. So after we moved I would commute instead. After we moved I would start to look for other options, but I would be fine commuting(in theory, I haven't had to do it yet). So there isn't a huge rush for me to find a job.
We have money saved, and we are not planning on having kids for at least 2-3 years after we buy a house so that we would have even more saved. We have been looking at houses and have found that we both love, we are just waiting for more information before we make an offer.
Since it is such a big scary decision, I want to make sure that I am not being irrational. Especially because I get all excited and gung-ho and then I freak out and get super worried.