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Can't agree
I'm so bummed out right now.
After years of hard work, we have finally gotten to a place where DH and I are trying to buy a home. And I found this amazing place. It's a forclosure, (have not had it inspected, but it appears clean) so it's selling for 1/4 the price of what it should be, bringing it in to our price range. It's 5 bedrooms, 3 baths, 3 car garage, with a jacuzzi tub in the master bath. And it's in one of the best school districts in the state! But because of the part of town it's in, DH won't even consider it.
It's not any further to work than either of us drive now. In fact, it's closer. It's in a very safe neighborhood. And I've done some checking with friends and family who live in similarly sized homes to see what to expect on utilities - we're still looking good.
For the past 8 years, we have lived in a part of town that I don't like, just because DH grew up here and wants to be close to his family. But I want to cut the apron strings a little and go wherever we need to that's best for OUR family. I"m frustrated that I've made concessions to him and stayed where I was unhappy for this long, only to have him not even consider a place out of his little bubble. I wish he could just give the issue a little thought, and maybe he'd see that coming out of his comfort zone would be ok, if it meant a good future for us and our kids!
Re: Can't agree
This doesn't make a lot of sense to me.
If it is in one of the best school districts in the state, why is your DH so against it? How close do you live to family now and how would that change if you make the move? This is a bit ridiculous.
Bolded. So it's either in a perceived dumpy run-down neighborhood, or it's in a perceived snobby, uppity, preppy neighborhood? Right? Empasis on the use of the word "perceived."
Why don't you and DH make a list of what you want in your home. See where you overlap and discuss the parts on which you differ. See where and how you can compromise.
Buying a home only one of you loves isn't good. You should both be happy about it. Also, consider resell value and ease. Would it be a tough home to resell IF you needed to down the road?
I suppose you're right - he probably does perceive it as an uppity part of town. He's from a "hard" neighborhood, and proud of it. But just because he's made it living in that area shouldn't mean that my kids should have to also.
I agree that both of us should love the home. After all, this is the kind of investment we're going to be in for the long haul. He loves the house, the amenities, the school system....if I picked that house up and brought it to our current neck of the woods, he'd snap it up in a heartbeat. I just don't get it. I want to be a good wife to him and hear him on his issues, but I just don't see how we can compromise when he's not willing to bend at all on moving out of this area.
We presently live 10 minutes from his family and 30 minutes from mine. This house would put our families about 45 minutes from us either way.
We've been looking into buying a place for the last few years, and every time we start talking about it, he's unwilling to consider anything but our present neighborhood. When we first started dating, we lived in a different part of town and we were happy, but we've moved progressively closer to his old stomping grounds and he's grown accustomed to it. If it were just the two of us, I'd suck it up. Hell, I have been for 7 years now. But this is our families' future we're talking about. Even if it's not THIS house, how do I make him see things differently?