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Some T&P please - Niece

My sister has been having a real hard time with my niece (17).  She just refuses to go to school, but my sister gets fined when she doesn't go.  It was to the point that when my sister had to work in the morning, my mom and/or dad were going over to make sure my neice went. 

When she does go, she gets into fights so she'll be suspended... but before the holidays the school told my sister my neice has a learning disability and that none of this is her fault and she could come back to school from her suspension a day early.  No, she's out smarted you guys and/or you just want to pass her and get her out of your school next year.

Well, it all came to a head last Wednesday.  My sister was home, niece wouldn't go to school... and ended up calling the cops on my sister.  Cops sided with my sister and told my niece to go to school or get out.  She left, and my sister signed her out of school for good.  And no one has really heard from her.  She's at her bf's (same guy that knocked her up last year) but he's really abusive and she's had the cops called on him.  Heck, I think his parents called the cops on her for hitting my niece.  He's a HS drop out too, no job.

I really hoped she wouldn't follow in my sister's foot steps, but it looks like she has and none of us know what to do.  I haven't tried to get involved.  I feel like she saw her mom get beat by her dad for 14 years and this is all she knows.  My sister than gave up on being a mom when she left the abusive relationship and left my niece high and dry.  Even with all that, I don't want anything bad to happen to her... she's a wake up call though. She's throwing her life away.

Eliza Mae - September 16th, 2014

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Re: Some T&P please - Niece

  • Girl, you got every thought and prayer you can get from me. I am so sorry she is doing this. i hate to see young girls do things like this not realizing these choices will effect them for the rest of their lives. I know from personal experience. it damages relationships and causes lasting pain for everyone involved. I hope she gets the wake up call she needs before its too late.

    With influences like you and your parents she has everything she needs t straighten herself up. Kids these days take everything for granted and are self centered punks. i can tell you because there are times my kid acts the same way. I have to fight every single day to eliminate the breed in genes of self entitlement that he gets from his father. Every kid but one in that family is the exact same way. The world owes them something because they grew up poor, welfare cases.

    Again, I am so sorry. I hope she gets the help she obviously needs.

  • imageMrs.Skiz:

    Girl, you got every thought and prayer you can get from me. I am so sorry she is doing this. i hate to see young girls do things like this not realizing these choices will effect them for the rest of their lives. I know from personal experience. it damages relationships and causes lasting pain for everyone involved. I hope she gets the wake up call she needs before its too late.

    With influences like you and your parents she has everything she needs t straighten herself up. Kids these days take everything for granted and are self centered punks. i can tell you because there are times my kid acts the same way. I have to fight every single day to eliminate the breed in genes of self entitlement that he gets from his father. Every kid but one in that family is the exact same way. The world owes them something because they grew up poor, welfare cases.

    Again, I am so sorry. I hope she gets the help she obviously needs.

    Thanks, like I've told my mom, she has NO sense of consequences for her actions. None. Skip school - my sister gets a fine.  Skip for 7 days straight (last year) my sister found out on a Friday, and still allowed her out with her friends until Sunday night when she had a  "talk" to her.  Um no, she would have been stuck to my side the whole weekend, cleaning and working, no phone or anything for many week nights and weekends to come.  She was freaking BRAGGING about it to me afterwards.  "Yo Amanda, you have to give me mad props for pulling that off"  "Um no, you're an idiot."

    Eliza Mae - September 16th, 2014

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  • I'm sorry you are going through that :-( Sometimes you wish you could just knock some sense into people but you cant. Fingers crossed your niece hits  a lot point soon where its not too late to turn her life around. 

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  • Every good though & prayer I can send your way is coming at you. And her. And your sister. I would look into a local program that is able to help your sister AND your niece. If you would like, I can look when I'm at work tomorrow to see if there is anything that would fit.

    imagemana8503:

    Thanks, like I've told my mom, she has NO sense of consequences for her actions. None. Skip school - my sister gets a fine.  Skip for 7 days straight (last year) my sister found out on a Friday, and still allowed her out with her friends until Sunday night when she had a  "talk" to her.  Um no, she would have been stuck to my side the whole weekend, cleaning and working, no phone or anything for many week nights and weekends to come.  She was freaking BRAGGING about it to me afterwards.  "Yo Amanda, you have to give me mad props for pulling that off"  "Um no, you're an idiot."

    I absolutely agree with you. She'd have been chained to my side for months.

  • imagephanatic:

    Every good though & prayer I can send your way is coming at you. And her. And your sister. I would look into a local program that is able to help your sister AND your niece. If you would like, I can look when I'm at work tomorrow to see if there is anything that would fit.

    Whoa is this something you do?!  I would appreciate it, they live in Lancaster County, PA if that matters.  I guess because she tested herself into the learning disability program, they told my sister my neice couldn't sign herself out  of school at 17 (which is what we thought would happen since she just turned 17 on Christmas).  I thought maybe that meant my sister can still force her into some program...

    I know they both were going to counselling last year after she lost the babies.  I think they were looking into bi-polar disorder.  I know last year she was on prozac.

    imagemana8503:

    Thanks, like I've told my mom, she has NO sense of consequences for her actions. None. Skip school - my sister gets a fine.  Skip for 7 days straight (last year) my sister found out on a Friday, and still allowed her out with her friends until Sunday night when she had a  "talk" to her.  Um no, she would have been stuck to my side the whole weekend, cleaning and working, no phone or anything for many week nights and weekends to come.  She was freaking BRAGGING about it to me afterwards.  "Yo Amanda, you have to give me mad props for pulling that off"  "Um no, you're an idiot."

    I absolutely agree with you. She'd have been chained to my side for months.

    H asked what we would have done this in situation and I brought that example up.  I'm like we would have at least TRIED to show her punishment for acting that way, way before now.

    Eliza Mae - September 16th, 2014

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  • Thoughts and prayers for your whole family. Sorry that you guys have to go through this!
  • T&Ps coming your way. I know you have been dealing with this for awhile. I'm so sorry. Hopefully she'll get a wake up call before she really hits rock bottom.
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  • oh Mana I hate that you're going through all of this. I don't really have anything else to add since i'm coming into this convo late. but i'll certainly keep everyone in my T&P
  • Situations like this are so awful because there is absolutely nothing you can do.  I think phanatic is on the right track in that they need outside help.
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  • imagebeebe918:
    Situations like this are so awful because there is absolutely nothing you can do.  I think phanatic is on the right track in that they need outside help.

    100% agree!

    I'm sorry this is happening, Mana.

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