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Need ideas to keep family member away
I hope someone here can help. It is a little complicated and I will try to give cliff notes version.
My mother has a brother 55+ years old. He has been in and out of jail pretty much his whole life. He is worthless to put it mildly. He lived with my grandparents for as long as I can remember. My grandmother died 10 years ago and he continued to sponge off my grandfather. He stole money, meds, pawned household items/tools, etc. It got so bad my grandfather and my mom sold the property (because trying to evict him wasn't as easy as you would think) and my mom moved grandpa to a neighboring city to get him out of the chaos. The uncle was affecting his health with stress, stealing meds, etc.
Fast forward...it's been about a year or so since my uncle moved out of state with some chic he met on the internet. Now he wants to come back. Of course he still has no job, no money, sold his car before he left and so literally has nothing. He is ill but can get VA benefits.The woman apparently wants him gone to and is probably gonna buy him a bus tickets and send him.
My grandfather is elderly and has fallen a few times but my mom is there everyday (lives 10 mins away) and has been able to take care of him thus far.
Problem is, grandfather is now feeling sorry for the uncle and probably knows he himself doesn't have 20 more years and seems to be hinting that maybe uncle should be allowed to come stay with him to help out on both sides. (The house he is in is owned outright by my mother). My mom knows she will never get uncle out if she were to allow it and has no intentions of allowing it.
There was elder abuse previously but apparently since it was another county she can not get a restraining order where grandfather lives now (plus I'm sure he would have to consent to it).
Is there anything she can do preemptively to keep uncle from showing up and weaseling his way in?
Thanks for any advice. Also uncle is registered sex offender (something about phone calls with underage girls I think). I thought this fact might be able to be used also.
Re: Need ideas to keep family member away
Your mom needs to discuss this with an attorney and probably obtain guardianship if she wishes to control access to your grandfather.
In some communities, registered sex offenders can't be within a certain distance to a school- that would be one way to keep uncle from visiting,
Gpa pretty much knows in his head she is right, but tried to play up the sympathy card to her. He realizes how much she does for him so he is playing the whole ...it is beneficial to both sides..uncle can help out and then uncle has a place to stay and get on his feet. Uncle is also sick like I said but there are options (VA) to deal with that . Not my mom or Gpa's problem (not to sound harsh).As a parent I guess my Gpa is having a hard time turning a blind eye and forgetting how bad it was before.
My mother flat out told him, he won't last 2 weeks with Uncle in the house.
What kind of lawyer should she see? Like a family lawyer ?
Hopeforthebest,I just have to say I feel you 100% on what you are going through. You can see the post right under yours that I am dealing with some serious "uncle" problems as well, and with an elderly grandparent who gets sucked in to feeling sympathy for someone who doesn't really deserve it. I really just wanted to wish you and your mom luck in dealing with this. I know how stressful it is, and that there's not always an easy solution. One thing in your favor is that your mom owns the house. I wish we had that going for us in my situation. My grandmother owned 2 houses, one that was going to go to my uncle, and the other would go to my mom (and my mom currenlty lives in this house). Well after my grandfather died, my uncle forced my grandma to move into the house where my mom is and outright sold the house. Now he's regretting it cause the real estate market picked up and he thinks he could have gotten more money. So he wants a chunk of my mom's house AS WELL. My grandmother won't add my mom to the deed, cause she's afraid my mom will ban my uncle from visiting. I assume that when my grandmother dies one day, it's going to be a hellish battle to get my mom the house she's been promised for ages.
Anyway please keep us posted, and good luck to you and your mom. Definitely keep your uncle at arm's length.
Have her call a lawyer but if the house is in her name and in no way your Grandfathers then if uncle shows up and refuses to leave she can call for trespassing. But hopefully the lawyer can offer some better advice.
I agree with all of this. If the house where he is staying is owned by your mom, your mom can ask him to leave and call the police and charge him with trespassing if he won't go. I would think after she has a trespassing charge against him, she could get a restraining order to keep him off her property.
He sounds like a boarderline dangerous person that could get violent IF he were agitated.
You might not like this advice, but I'll provide it anyway.
I would strongly consider having a means of protecting yourself and your family. While legal charges and restraining orders may deter some people, many will not be stopped by these.
I wonder why your gpa thinks the Uncle with his past history would in any way help out. Surely, your Mom has told him that if he wanted to help he would have and if gpa insists on him living with him she will move him to a senior facility. I would not have the man spend one night in that house. The minute he steps foot on the property I would call the police. If he stays she will NEVER get him out. Sorry, but if your gpa is benefiting from the help from your Mom she gets to make the rules and the #1 rule is Uncle isn't allowed in the house. Sounds mean but somebody has to be firm and gpa is softening his position.
Has your Uncle contacted your Mom? She needs to let him know asap he is not welcomed and action will be taken if he insists on trying to move in to HER house.
Any lawyer with a general practice should be able to help. She will most likely end up filing a trespass warrant on him, basically if he is found on the property he is arrested. I get what your grandpa is feeling and it is sad. However, your mother needs to protect herself, her family and her property.