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MIL and SIL are ruining our marriage!
My in-laws were nice at first but as soon as we got serious they became mean I don't drink alcohol and they drink more then I think is is considered socially drinking. All they do is make fun of me. They then started being mean and picking on me for everything. I am a Scorpio so once I had enough that was it and I backlashed and gave the attitude back at them. Now my mother in law and sister in law HATE me and I loath them. My husband even got into a huge fight with them on Christmas that they started. I am also gluten free for medical reasons and they just don't get that and add that to the list of making fun of me. They actually act like I'm gluten free just to annoy them at family dinners. I cry all the time about them and my husband and I only ever argue about them. They have put such a strain on our relationship and we have only been married a few. months.
They are soooo touchy!! Everything I say is wrong. My mother in law actually yelled at me and is offended that I didn't take a photo with her at my shower. REALLY!? Did you ask to take a photo with me? Did you even talk to me? Did you buy me the wrong crystal glasses on purpose since I said I don't like chunky crystal? Did you do anything substantial to help? Did I remember to take a photo with my own grandmother who is now on her death bed? No because i was overwhelmed and was barely taking in the whirl wind that was racing by me! This is all of course my fault according to them!
I am not at all saying that I didn't contribute sure when they messed with me I gave it back. When I don't want to be around there friend's obnoxious undisciplined children and I was told I just dislike all children and I told him no I just dislike misbehaved ones perhaps I should have kept my mouth shut but they have pushed me over the line.
I am sorry to vent here but I have no one else to talk to! My husband just feels in the middle, my friends don't get it as they are either not married or have amazing in laws, and I'm to embarrassed to tell my own family how bad this is. I don't want my family to then dislike them for being mean to their daughter.
I don't know what to do please help me! I all ready talked to my mother in law before the wedding about this and nothing changed. She actually kept telling my husband don't worry we love you and he kept saying but we are a we Nicole is a part of me. She continued to just exclude my name.
I tried to act like my sister in laws best friend and invited her everywhere with me and she never invited back and rarely excepted my invite. She actually even told a cousin who I am friends with that she hates me and all ways will. REALLY?!
There is NO POINT in talking to them and nothing changes. Please help me!
To make it even worst I used to always want a big family with several children now I don't want any. I don't want to bring children into a family where their grandmother and aunt and uncle will hate them because they all ready hate the children's mother. I don't want my children around people who don't believe in discipline and laugh when children misbehave and hit and yell! This now to has become an issue with my husband. I swear this hate between his family and me is ruining our marriage....
Re: MIL and SIL are ruining our marriage!
What exactly has your husband done to stand up for you?
At this point, I'm not sure why he is still in active contact with people who consistently abuse his wife, family or not.
You need to make this HIS problem. And if he refuses to put his foot down and demand that his family respect you, then the problem is more your husband and not your ILs.
WOW! I went through something similar with my in laws. Praise be to God. I was kind and nice to them and sought to serve them always. This is based on my strong faith based beliefs. Eventually not only did my in laws come along but PRAISE my SIL started bringing herself and my nieces and nephews to church and were baptized. I always responded with love even when it was hard. Even when DH couldn't believe it.
I am so happy I did because now we can all be a family and my DH too. I would not change what happened or how I responded for anything. I could have been "tough" and fought back but hate begets hate and hurtfulness begets hurtfulness.
That being said I would talk to your DH about standing up for you. Although I responded in love on more than one occasion I had to remove myself from their fire.
My SIL in particular has apologized to me NUMEROUS times and unsolicited begged for forgiveness (which she didn't have too). But I am not sure I would have changed it because we are stronger for it. Plus my nieces and nephews are better off for it.
Hugs and prayers!