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Aaaaand I'm back
It's been a long week. It started out as a 7 day cruise to Cabo and puerto Vallarta, then the ship needed a minor repair in port at puerto Vallarta, which took longer than expected. So we didnt get back until Monday. Yay! Extra day for free! Downside is my in-laws were there still haha. The past 8 days were so tiring, I need a vacation from my vacation! I guess it's time to update you all on the holidays and vacation.
We were home for the holidays for about 2 weeks. We tried to have the majority of it with my parents since we were going on a week cruise with his after the holidays, but we still wanted to spend time with his sister who was home from the navy for 2 weeks. All in all, it was fantastic seeing family. Of course his parents wanted us around more, but it's been a stressful year with my family so we felt we needed more time with them. (My grandpa was diagnosed with cancer around last Christmas and was going through his second round of chemo this Christmas Eve. also, my aunt and uncle are getting a divorce and we wanted to spend some time with my 11 year old cousin since she really looks up to Jared and loves spending time with us. We just wanted to be around for all of my family for the holidays. Also my great-grandma is 93 and really looks forward to the holidays since she claims each one is her last, although she is still going strong, driving herself, going on a 2 week cruise to Hawaii in march).
But we spent the 22nd-24th with Jared's family, since we usually do Christmas Eve with his side then Christmas Day with mine. All was going really well up until the 29th. Jared's dad wanted to get tickets for a hockey game to go with Jared's sister(amber), us, some of her friends, etc. So we met them at the arena and was planning on spending the next couple of days at Jared's parents house. (Our families live maybe 50 minutes away from each other, and the arena was in the middle). We show up and his dad is drunk. I'm not sure if I've mentioned this before but his dad is in AA (alcoholics anonymous) and NA (narcotics ). In the past he's had a problem with all alcohol and drugs, including heroin. These days it's abusing pills, such as Vicodin mixed with alcohol. His mom is always calling us to complain about his dad, saying she's going to leave him and can't put up with it, but when we called to tell her he showed up drunk and high, she said it wasn't a big deal, since he didnt drive. The only reason he didnt drive is because Jared's sister saw him in the front seat and noticed he was drunk and forced him to let her drive. Long story short, Basically, Jared confronted him at the hockey game asking him if he was drunk, his dad shoved him saying "f*ck you, Jared" and walked away. Jared is at the point where he doesn't want anything to do with his family.
But we decide to go on the cruise still, mainly for his mom who tries hard to keep the family together. We go and of course his dad is sneaking off to the bar sneaking drinks, even though he claims to go to several AA meetings a week and is "recovering". Which the first part of the week wasn't so bad, except for his mom and dad's constant bickering about the drinking. Then in Cabo his dad bought some pills from a pharmacy. We believe it was OxyContin, a synthetic heroin. He bought 2 bottles of 50, and by the 2nd day when we realized he was taking pills, his mom found that 22 were left in one bottle.
I'm sure you can imagine how we now need a vacation from our vacation haha. I'm glad his mom relaxed for the first time in her life, but it's sad she is just "waiting for Jared's dad to die" so she doesn't have to deal with all this anymore (her words)
jared grew up with his dad driving him around drunk and high, and we have already told his mom she won't be left alone with them and we don't want his dad to have any contact with them under the influence, and DEFINITELY not be alone with them ever. It a year or two away, but we want them to know where we stand now and for as long as the situation is the same.
Sorey for such a long post, but it has been a 3 week dry patch for me haha. I've been back and reading all your posts. I know it's only been a week, but I swear, your pregnancies just JUMPED ahead haha. I'm happy to be back!
Re: Aaaaand I'm back
Thanks so much! It is hard for J trying to balance the loyalty and love that is supposed to be there with family, but also knowing it is unhealthy to associate with his family. Apparently the last day of the cruise, his dad kept repeating "don't just move away and forget your family. Don't forget your family..." So frustrating
Yay for being back! We missed you. And wow, it does sound like you need a vacation from your vacation. Your hubby's family situation sounds very stressful. But it also sounds like you and your hubby handle it as well as you can.
My dad is an alcoholic but he refuses to admit he has a problem. My parents marriage hasn't been great in a long time. My mom has threatened to leave for at least the last 15 years. She's kicked my dad out a few times but yeah, it's a lot of drama. The drama of it all is part of why I live 5 hours from my parents. They are still within driving distance but I'm not so close that I have to deal with the daily drama.
HUGS!!!!
Glad you're back! We certain did miss you around here!
I agree with what everyone else said. Certainly sounds like you're vacation wasn't much of a vacation at all. I don't have personal experience with this sort of thing = ( but many many T&P's with you and your hubby!
01.21.2012---> I married a redhead I'm crazy about.
04.2016: IT'S A BOY! Elias Alan is due!
WDW trips: 05/14 (1st trip! Art of Animation; Little Mermaid), 05/15 (Pop Century!). DL Trips: 12/15
That's what I hoped for for the first few years. It scares me because they have 4 grandkids already between J's two older siblings (girl age 6 and boy age 4 to his older brother, and girl age 3 and girl age 10 mos. to his older sister) and J's mom constantly claims his dad "can't be trusted" and then I say "no he can't. If he's alone with the grandkids, his reflexes will be down and he could kill one of them". Also he drives with them under all influences and doesn't care. And all J's mom said to that was "well, he only is alone and takes Quentin now (the boy) so.." like him only exploding danger to one out of four is okay. So frustrating.
Yeah, you understand how it can be too
they've separated before, but got back together. We are currently 3 hours away, so not close enough to be affected as much as we could be. And moving two states away will help. Just sucks that my parents live only about an hour away from his parents, and we will definitely be sending out kids to spend maybe a week of summer with mine, will see mine constantly, but his parents will have supervised visits for holidays, maybe a weekend or two (with us there). I know there will be fights about how "unfair" the amount of time will be, but they are different circumstances, so they will be treated differently.
And HUGS back
I'll take the hug haha.
Aww thanks! I just keep telling myself to think about the Alaskan cruise in June. Just us, our vacation
4 days to the Bahamas and 248 days till Alaska!
I might even try to sneak another one past Joy. Trying to get some of our friends to join us to surprise her, but that's not working out so far.
It is hard. I'm very torn about letting our kids spend a week or two in the summer with my parents. I know my mom would love it and they'd be okay with her, but I do worry about my dad driving them around while he's drinking or been drinking. We live 5 minutes away from my MIL so I know I'm already going to hear about how my parents don't get to see the kids as often. but I guess we can just cross that bridge when it gets here.