Family Matters
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Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
inlaws and meds
My mother in law has recently become completely anti-western medicine. For the most part, it does not affect our relationship. She preaches that its fear-based medicine, which is rough to hear as I am someone who was saved by western medicine, and who needs western medicine to function in society. Dont get me wrong, I love my mother in law, but sometimes her opinons hurt. Any suggestions?
Re: inlaws and meds
I get it, I'm dependent on western medication to live as well and it gets under my skin when people tell me that all of their health problems were completely healed by "going Paleo" or from herbal medicine. My own immune system tries to kill me on a daily basis - once it's been proven that increasing my intake of grapefruit and ginko biloba puts a stop to my disease, then we'll talk.
I think her comments are probably well intended and she's excited about her own health accomplishments and is just wanting to share. Be genuinely happy for her, say that's great! I'll look into that! and then move on to the next topic of conversation.
Chronically hilarious - you'll split your stitches!
I wrote a book! Bucket list CHECK!
http://notesfortheirtherapist.blogspot.co.uk
Non-Western medicine certainly has its place. There isn't anything wrong with treating the "whole" person, but the advances in modern science and medicine as well as the massive amounts of biological and chemistry data available to us today prove that "modern" medicine is the best place to be.
I just got done reading a book called Kisses from Katie about a young woman serving in Uganda in poor villages, caring for children (even legally adopting 13 of them).
In several chapters she lauded the opportunities she had to take kids to more modern medical facilities to receive the treatment they needed to survive and have better quality of life.
Clearly, if modern medicine has super place in the hearts of a developing nation and is seen as a huge blessing, it must be good.
It's stupid to turn our noses up at something that clearly helps people.
So, if she needed it, would your MIL reject modern life saving treatments? Why is she this way? Did she have a bad experience?
This. I would also avoid discussing your health and treatments with her at all. If she brings it up or calls you out on a medicine you're taking, just tell her that after a lot of research, you made the best decision for your health, but you'll look into her suggestions, and then drop it (and don't waste time looking into the quackery!).
My MIL has recently gotten very involved in alternative therapies. She's not completely anti western medicine, but she's often going on about how modern medicine kills people, and how Drs die young etc etc etc.
Generally speaking I nod and smile when she brings it up. I politely gloss through the magazines she hands me to look at when we visit (some "natural" medicine type magazine full of biased, anecdotal "research"), then put the magazine down and do not engage in a discussion about it. Recently she started doing this as DD2 was coming up to her first round of vaccines and she started giving me anti-vaccine articles.
What annoys me the most about MIL is that she states her views as absolute fact. So rather than, "there is some though/I read an article/I think that vaccines can be harnful" it's more, "Vaccines can give you cancer."
The only time I ever told her to back off was when DD1 was in hospital at 15mths with pneumonia, and she came to visit her. While visiting she started practicing reiki on DD1 without asking, discussing or even saying she was going to. She just started doing it. I was beyond angry.
So my general advice is nod and smile, but if it intrudes on you or your family then state what your boundaries are and stick to them. ie. Do not do that to her.
Yep. This. This is what I did when my MIL insisted I "HAD" to BF my son even after 3 doctors told me I could not nurse on my medications, which I could not stop taking. I told her that and she kept on it. So I told her we could agree to disagree and that the subject was closed.