Relationships
RenoisPrettierThanYou
member
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Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Secret money
So, over the last few months I've been hoarding my travel checks with the thought that I'd surprise my husband with the new found money in a lump sum so we could do something fun like a weekend away, or buy some furniture we've been wanting, or to pay down a credit card. But, now, seeing how fast it grows, I have a secret wish to keep going to see how much I can save over time....it's become like a game now. My husband will think it's funny that I actually managed to keep a secret from him. Have you ever created a secret slush fund to spring on your SO?
Re: Secret money
Yeah, he should probably divorce me. STAT.
What you are talking about is a gift type saving money. OP has "secret money" to pay bills or buy furniture. Why would any spouse feel the need to do that? It seems her H has a spending issue or she doesn't trust him with money.
oops...sorry about the quoting.
Money's not an issue for us, we do okay. He handles all the money, which is why this is the only way I'd be able to surprise him as my travel checks come to me. There's no way he'd be pissed, nor would I under similar circumstances. I just think it's fun.
I don't know- as you aren't doing this to save money to pay off a secret shopping habit, I don't know that I see the big deal.
I submit receipts for our FSA. When I get the $$, I transfer it immediately to our savings. OUR savings. But DH doesn't really look at the savings so he doesn't really "know" about it - and as such, I try to put as much in there as I can w/o him really thinking about it so that if we need some extra $$, we have it.
~Benjamin Franklin
DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10
I think you should keep it going. A secret stash is necessary for everyone.
Also, let's face it... if you know what hit's the fan one day, you will be happy to have it. As long as you aren't hurting anyone, what's the big deal?
My DH and I have a joint account, and then separate personal accounts. If you're paying your fair share into the joint account, i see no reason why your own savings is a problem. The being secretive about it is a slippery slope though.
Personally, I'd pick a milestone (say $1000) and then tell him about it. "Husband, guess what?!? I've been saving some cash to surprise you with, and I managed to save $1000! I don't want to spend it though, I want to see how much we can save without spending! If we save 5 grand, we could take an amazing vacation!" Something along those lines.
Nestie Bestie with the lovely RockABye
Eh, I see nothing wrong with it if you're not using it to fund your liaisons with the pool boy or something.
H and I have secret "cash stashes" for fun/ emergency money that's easily accessible. We both know where the other person's is, but we don't touch it. My mother always had what she called her fun money stash. Dad knew about it, but not where it was. Sometimes it's just fun to have a harmless little secret. This seems harmless.
Money I feel like is one of those things you don't keep secret. I don't like feeling like I'm in the dark about that kind of thing, so if my husband did that, I would be a little bit upset we didnt plan whatever that was together.
Although this would be a whole different ballpark if we had separate accounts.
hahaha, this is awesome. I agree that couples should be honest with each other, but I can assure you that if my H surprised me with a secret stash of money that he was going to use for US, I would be beyond ecstatic! It's not like you're hiding money from him that you're only going to spend on yourself. I think it's awesome! Unfortunately right now H and I are trying to get out of debt so we can start saving, and I'm jealous of your "secret stash"! Keep it up girl. If you thought he'd get mad, you obviously wouldn't be doing it.