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Job troubles!
Hello!
My husband and I have been married for 3 and a half years. The entire length of our marriage, my husband has struggled finding work. He was a teacher when we met, but due to us living 2 hours apart, he gave up his teaching job to come to where I lived. I, obviously, was able to keep my job. After that, he couldn't find a teaching job here, so he was a substitute teacher and then a lifeguard during the summer months. Last May, he got a full time job at an IT help desk. We were really excited because it was full time and was a salary position! Well, his boss is not helpful at all. They have a program they use to instruct people on how to fix their problems. He has tried asking his boss about how to use it and asking questions when he gets to a difficult task. She gets mad and either huffs at him or tells him to figure it out.
He is feeling like a failure and that nothing works out for him. I am trying to be supportive and tell him that I will help him find something else, will help out if he wants to take classes, etc, but he doesn't want to do any of it. The job market stinks here and I have no idea what to do to help him feel supported yet get him motivated enough to either stay at the current job or look for a new job. As of right now, he doesn't want to do either!
Any advice?
Re: Job troubles!
You're right. I do think she is trying to tell him to take some initiative and try to work through the tools available to him; however, as the person in authority, I feel as though a more professional approach is warranted. If she wants him to try to "figure it out", she could tell him to try to work through it and then maybe check to see if he did it correctly. IDK, just my thoughts.
As for looking for a new job, been there, done that! Last year he applied to over 300 jobs. The job market is not what it once was. I had a teaching job before I graduated college and when I interviewed I had 2 offers to chose from. Well, now, you can't find a teaching job and just to be a substitute teacher, there is a waiting list for a year. When he applied to IT positions, places either said he was over qualified or under qualified.
I think I just need to continue to support him and let him vent until the job market turns around. I certainly don't think he will quit this job, but it is difficult to work with a boss who is not willing to help (and hasn't since you started) and another person, who half the time isn't taking calls or answering emails, which is a problem when you work at a HELP desk.
Thank you for your response!
Sometimes the people in authority don't feel it's their position to teach someone how to do a job, that the person should come with some knowledge and the ability to figure it out. When the authority figure isn't a mentor he'll have to look elsewhere for one. Is there a peer that he can seek assistance from? Any online training or application specific resources he can use?
As far as the other person not pulling their weight, that's their hole to dig. He's got to focus on his work, not what other's do or don't do. Let him vent at home and get it out, so that when he walks through the door each morning he's left it behind.
I don't know about your DH, but mine comes homes and vents and doesn't want advice. He wants to solve his own problems, not hear that I think he's handling it wrong. I find it better to offer gentle suggestions when he's not worked up since he's more receptive then.
BFP 11.8.12 * EDD 7.17.13 * MC 12.20.12
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