Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Name dilemma
So DH and I decided on Liliana Maria for our little girls name. It is a cousin of mine in Italy and my sister's name is Liana so it's part of it. (My mom actually got Liana from Liliana.) It really is the only name we both like and can agree on. Everyone seems to love it, except for my sister Liana.
Here's the problem: She decided a few years ago that she will name her first girl (if she even has a girl) Guiliana. She told me this a while ago and when DH and I thought about Liliana I asked him and a few other people if Liliana and Guiliana are too similar for cousin names. Everyone said no. I could have swore I asked my sister about this too.
Well, the other day I brought up the name Liliana and she FREAKED. She does not want us to name our child Liliana because it's too similar to Guiliana. She wants us to change our choice.
I'm upset because she's really mad at me. I got about 15 texts from her last night with her telling me how mad she is and how we really should change the name. I should also add that I thought it was nice to have part of my sister's name in my daughter's name and thought she would be happy about that. DH doesn't even want to talk about any other names. I'm not sure what to do. Advice?
Married the love of my life on 1-21-12. Our princess arrived on 5-28-13.
!["Image](denied:"http://i43.tinypic.com/a27yo1.jpg")
">
Re: Name dilemma
That is a dilemma. I can't remember, are you planning on calling her Lily for short? because if you are, maybe you can tell your sister that they really aren't that close because she will have a nickname.
If I were in your shoes, I don't think I would back down. You have had the name chosen for a while too, and you are having the baby first, and you both agree on the name. Who is to say that when she is ready to have a baby, that her husband will agree on the name that she has had picked out for years. I know that J does not like ANY of the names that I have been in love with for a while.
Anyway, I have a feeling that while she may have agreed on it earlier, she wants to pretend that the conversation didn't happen, because she may be slightly jealous, or was hoping that you would end up changing your mind on Liliana.
Good luck! I hope I was of some help.
Another mom on the March board was having a similar issue. Although it was the same name they were arguing about. Pretty much everyone on that board agreed - the person who has a kid first gets first choice.
I also think in your case that Liliana and Guiliana are perfectly fine as cousin names. They might sound similar but they are definitely different. Is you sister going to shorten Guiliana to Juli or anything? I say that you should stick to your choice. I know it can be hard since you sister is so upset. It's not like you are stopping her from using her choice.
My husband is named after his uncle. So at family gatherings there are two Paul's there. It can get confusing but it's really not that bad. I also ended up with a cousin named Michelle. My uncle married someone with a daughter from a previous marriage. We made it work. It really wasn't that weird because I didn't see her that often. And my last example, my niece's names all start with a "K" sound. My favorite name since I was in middle school has been Catherine. I could name my daughter Catherine but then there would be 4 kids with a "K" sounding name. I personally am choosing not to use the name because it bothers me. I'm not blaming my SILs for their name choices. If I really wanted to I could still use Catherine. That's how I feel your sister should be - if it bothers her that much she can change her name. She doesn't have to put this on you. I never said a word when my last two nieces were born because it's the parents choice what to name their kids. It's not their fault that I love the name Catherine. But since we already have a Kenedy, Keiran and a Camryn - I like that we went with something different.
I forgot - I totally agree with all this too. Who is to say that when she is ready to have a child that she will still want that name or that her husband will agree. DH and I agreed on Lily before we got pregnant but it took us forever to decide on a middle name. And Lily was the only name we both agreed on. He does not like any of the other names I like.
01.21.2012---> I married a redhead I'm crazy about.
04.2016: IT'S A BOY! Elias Alan is due!
WDW trips: 05/14 (1st trip! Art of Animation; Little Mermaid), 05/15 (Pop Century!). DL Trips: 12/15
Thanks guys. Yes, we are planning on calling her Lili but not all the time. We don't want her nickname to be her "all the time" name. However, I told my sister that she will be called Lili. That didn't matter to her. She is still upset.
I told my husband that we can talk about other names but he doesn't want to. He is set on Liliana. So what more is there that I can do?
My sister is a spoiled brat and wants to get her way all the time. She's upset because we are not giving in to her. I just hate when there is friction between us.
Married the love of my life on 1-21-12. Our princess arrived on 5-28-13.
I think that this gives you even more reason to stick with the name, especially if she always does get her way. Hopefully, in time, the friction will go away.
I don't know your sister so I'm not sure if she would be the type to hold this against you forever or not. I would like to think that like most people she would eventually get over it - that hopefully it's more of an attention thing right now and that she will come to her senses later.
But as others have put it, no one else gets to decide on your baby's name. Just you and your hubby. This is exactly why DH and I refuse to share our name with anyone (other than you guys). We've been getting some crap from family about not sharing. I even had my mom, MIL and one of my SIL's gang up on me at my shower about how "even after all the stuff they'd given me for my shower, I still wouldn't share?". I just continually keep refusing. My answer is always the same. "We will share her name after she's born. It gets to be a surprise for everyone." I guess no matter what you do (share or not share) there's always some kind of drama.
Married the love of my life on 1-21-12. Our princess arrived on 5-28-13.
Ohhhhh... kind of sounds like your sister just doesn't want anyone else named after the cousin, so that your sister is the special one and only. Good luck! Go with the name still since you love it!
Ohhhhh... . nd of sounds like your sister just doesn't want anyone else named after the cousin, so that your sister is the special one and only. Good luck! Go with the name still since you love it!
Nope, not at all. We don't even know the cousin. It's my mom's cousin and we've never met her since she lives in Italy. She's just upset because she wants the name Guilana for a girl that she *may* have and Liliana is too similar.
Last night I started thinking about other options for names. DH said we could talk about it but he still REALLY likes Liliana. It's not that I want to give into my sister, it's just that I don't want her to be mad and upset at me. We'll probably still go with Liliana but we'll discuss other options.
Married the love of my life on 1-21-12. Our princess arrived on 5-28-13.