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Not sure how to handle this (long)

Email communications are so hard to read the way it is intended.  Sad

My boss used to be very supportive and helpful but for the last month or so, she seems not to be a fan of mine for lack of other words.  We have a good relationship in person but she has started reiterating our conversationsin emails to me regarding any small mistakes I have made.  This gives me the red flag that she is documenting me.  Which she is very much a documentation person so it might just be an FYI for my HR file.  She has also been seriously nitpicking everything I do.

She said she'd be at the office yesterday so I asked her if she could email a file to me so I could work on it.  From home, it wold take about 20 minutes to do this project.  In the office with interruptions, it takes longer so I just wanted to get it done.  So she emailed it to me.  An hour later, she emails me stating she doesn't want me working on it from home.  And this morning, she sends ANOTHER email stating she will not send me docs to my personal email. ( I had emailed her from my phone, which has a gmail account set up by IT for work only and my work email feeds to it. This was not my actual personal email).  Her email went on to say HR didn't allow this for another associate and she will not do it even if I request it.  WTF???  All I did was ask a simple question. She could have said "hey BTW I can't b/c..." instead of these stupid documented emails that make it sound like I was up to something.

Then yesterday, she emails me several times because we advertised a public event that happens to have drink specials.  How would I know that I had to have her approval do this???  It was sent to all adults and wasn't advertising "go get wasted".

There were several other stupid emails that ended up thoroughly pissing me off yesterday and ruined my afternoon.

She has a tendency to go through people's work with a fine tooth comb and make small issues into larger ones.  She also is hypocritical.  She tells the staff to talk to me about things but yet she goes directly to them and gives them things to do.  She still lets them go to her with stuff, then comes and tells me, but won't let me address it with the employee.  She used to do a chunk of my position so the staff is used to her and were coming to her with requests and questions which started this. Now, they come to her if I say no.  Sometimes she backs me.  Othertimes, she questions me. And it is over small insignificant things that would be my choice to make in running the office.  Not major issues.

I don't know how to handle her.  I can't bring it up to her boss or HR b/c that would create other issues.  I just want her to back off and let me do my job.  At this point, I am bummed to be looking for a new job.

Any ideas on how to get her to stop or how to deal with this?

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Re: Not sure how to handle this (long)

  • I would trust your instincts.  If all the sudden you feel she is acting differently and seems to be sending you unnecessary emails documenting mistakes I think you are probably right in that something has changed. 

    You say you have a good relationship in person, could you ask her to set aside an hour or so of her time so you guys could talk?  The job is fairly new right? You could present it like you just want to get her feelings on how you are doing and you want to present a few concerns to her.  

    In the talk I would define your roles in the office and express your concern in not having control of the office.  And reiterate what sort of things you can do without her consent and what sort of things you need to contact her about first (so something like the drink thing doesn't happen again).  Also tell her the email address isn't a personal one and find out what exactly you are allowed to do from home and what you are not.

    I think communication is key here.

    I'm sorry you're dealing with this though, I hate bosses who micromanage! 

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  • imagebeebe918:

    I would trust your instincts.  If all the sudden you feel she is acting differently and seems to be sending you unnecessary emails documenting mistakes I think you are probably right in that something has changed. 

    You say you have a good relationship in person, could you ask her to set aside an hour or so of her time so you guys could talk?  The job is fairly new right? You could present it like you just want to get her feelings on how you are doing and you want to present a few concerns to her.  

    In the talk I would define your roles in the office and express your concern in not having control of the office.  And reiterate what sort of things you can do without her consent and what sort of things you need to contact her about first (so something like the drink thing doesn't happen again).  Also tell her the email address isn't a personal one and find out what exactly you are allowed to do from home and what you are not.

    I think communication is key here.

    I'm sorry you're dealing with this though, I hate bosses who micromanage! 

    I read this this morning and it was on my mind today trying to think of advice to give you. BUT, Beebster has said it beautifully. I would do exactly that- an in person talk and try to be proactive about it. This sucks.

  • imagebeebe918:

    I would trust your instincts.  If all the sudden you feel she is acting differently and seems to be sending you unnecessary emails documenting mistakes I think you are probably right in that something has changed. 

    You say you have a good relationship in person, could you ask her to set aside an hour or so of her time so you guys could talk?  The job is fairly new right? You could present it like you just want to get her feelings on how you are doing and you want to present a few concerns to her.  

    In the talk I would define your roles in the office and express your concern in not having control of the office.  And reiterate what sort of things you can do without her consent and what sort of things you need to contact her about first (so something like the drink thing doesn't happen again).  Also tell her the email address isn't a personal one and find out what exactly you are allowed to do from home and what you are not.

    I think communication is key here.

    I'm sorry you're dealing with this though, I hate bosses who micromanage! 

    I agree with everything beebe said. I think communication is very important and I would ask her how she feels you are doing and what she feels you could improve on. It may be a little "awkward" but it seems like shes already making you feel uncomfortable so there is really nothing to lose. Hopefully it will only improve things.  


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  • imagequeensteph17:
     Beebster 

    Love it! 

    my read shelf:
    B's book recommendations, liked quotes, book clubs, book trivia, book lists (read shelf)
  • I will ditto B$ as well!  Let us know how it goes
    Eliza Mae - September 16th, 2014

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  • good advise guys. Thanks

    It's crazy also because I had a glowing review in Dec.  Today she acted fine but I noticed again that she creates seriousness and drama over small things, and it wasn't geared at me today.  *sigh 

    image
  • I am so sorry you're going through this.

    I agree with what everyone else said. Talk to her in person & see if you can't work it out that way. 

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