Family Matters
Dear Community,
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Father/Daughter Relationship
My husband and I have different view on raising and what's best for our child. He grew up in troubled home and doesnt remember anything good about his childhood. Sometimes I feel like that inteferes with his relationship with our daughter. He doesn't understand that the bond a daughter has with her father is most imporatant at especially at this early stage. I feel like I've tried as much as I can in helping him to understand but I don't think he even listens to me when I talk. This just weighs heavy on me.
Re: Father/Daughter Relationship
How old is your daughter? I know for lots of guys, kids become a lot more fun when they can move around and play vs. a newborn.
Although I'm blanking on the article, I have read that the preschool/early elementary years are very important years when it comes to developing a relationship with the opposite sex parent. What about thinking of something special they could do together just the two of them?
Has he had any therapy about his childhood? Do you feel he is underestimating the impact it has had?
Look, not everyone has the same experience as you did growing up. I had zero bond with my father and only recently developed one in my thirties. If you wanted a man who had a healthy childhood with a good parental experience, then you should have chose a man like that. Has he ever worked out the issues from his childhood?
Expecting this guy to be something he is not is only setting yourself and your daughter up for disappointment.
It sounds like you're making the classic mistake of playing "mommy expert" and dictating to your husband. Just as you wouldn't tell a good friend how they should conduct their relationships with their intimates, so you shouldn't here. Perhaps the best thing you can do is get out of the way and let them sort this out.
Sometimes falling in love/getting to know someone takes a little time. I know plenty of LOs who were raised by and enjoyed really close bonds with men who didn't enter their lives until later in childhood, so your sense of urgency around this feels uninformed and a little unrealistic.
This.
How old is your daughter?
TTC since September 2012