Pittsburgh Nesties
denalea
member
Dear Community,
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
nonnymouse
I've been thinking about you. I hope things are going OK for you and your husband!
Re: nonnymouse
Thanks for thinking of me. It truly means a lot. I was going to log back in to give an update...but I forgot my password/made-up email.
Things are going OK--but not great. I went home from work that day upset and he aplogized and felt terrible. He said he was done drinking. He went 10 days without drinking. Had a few beers with his brother after working a job. Went a few more days with out drinking. Then went through 30 pack in a week (including Superbowl). Now he's gone a few more days without drinking.
I don't know why I'm hesitant to be adament that he stop entirely. Probably because I grew up in a family that didn't really drink. My dad had a few beers a YEAR, if there was a family wedding. I guess I'm not sure what normal looks like in this situation.
I'm completely OK with him cutting back, having 2 or 3 a night as long as he CAN go a few days without having one and as long as he CAN stop at that number.
I'm just not sold that he can actually do that--but I suppose I'm willing ot give him the opportunity to prove it.
*butting in*
I just want to say that I think it's great he's making the effort - it seems that he's at least acknowledging how YOU feel.
I hope you two can get to talking to someone and work this out. It's obvious the two of you love each other!
Best of luck!
My three sons!
I think you hit the nail on the head when you question his actual ability to stop at a certain number. That will be the crucial detail. My FIL is a recovering alcoholic (and very public about it, which is why I feel comfortable posting) and when someone unknowingly offers him a drink at social functions and such, I have often heard him say something to the effect of "There isn't enough beer in the world to quench my thirst." He knows that one drink is not a problem...but he also knows that he could never stop at just one. And so for him, the answer is none. I also know of another friend who decided to stop drinking altogether because he was unable to stop at just one. But there are plenty of others who are quite able to turn it off at just one or two.
Is your DH willing to chat with anyone? Is there anyone else who can help him discern whether or not he has a problem? Is there anyone to help keep him accountable so you're not doing it alone? Could you enlist the help of his brother without upsetting your husband...ask him not to invite him drinking; to help him find the strength to say no after just one beer, or to get him home before he binges, etc?
Keep talking when your husband is sober. Try to encourage him, without making him feel nagged. Help him to see you as a safe place to come for support.
I will certainly keep praying for you, and you will be in my thoughts. Keep us updated, even if you just need a place to vent. You are in a difficult situation, for sure. But you will make it! Hugs to you!
I have been thinking about you too and hoping that everything is going well.
Please still consider joining a group like Al-Anon. It will help.
HUGS!
My Bio
I was also wondering about how it was going. Glad to hear he is at least attempting to make the effort. I know how hard that type of drinking can strain a relationship, it will improve as long as he acknowledges the problem in anyway.... It may not be to the "fullness" you feel is necessary,but one day it might turn into that. At least now it sounds as though he is stopping himself from over doing it, and hopefully will continue to curb the thirst for it.
I know in my situation, it took a weekend of no one being around "to help" when he ( a close family friend) got sick from drinking too much and a dear family friend to be honest and straight forward on target telling the issue. Now he is not drinking "to prove a point" that it's not needed, but also admitted to having a problem and not wanting us to do "flaunt" itin front of him that we are drinking and he isn't...but the person is understanding that we need a drink every once and awhile with the stressful home/work days... I hope your dh comes around before anything gets too bad!