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MOB won't mind her own business
My finace and I were engaged last August after dating about 9 months. My mom freaked out and told me how we're not meant to be together and she listed her reasons. While obviously I don't agree the rest of her/my family doesn't agree with her either. Then my younger sister who has been dating a guy for two years who is 10 years older than her gets engaged and my mom is how a MOB should act: excited, jealous, overjoyed.-- Hold on it gets better.
So my fiance and I go about doing our own thing. We ask my folks to help pay for one thing and my mom goes on about wanting to pay for bridesmaids dresses and then wanting to take over the reception dinner; however not wanting to help set up or take down. We're not a fancy family but I didn't expect her to be back washing dishes either!
So my fiance and I took a leap and moved into our own apartment. Needless to say my mother wasn't the least excited for us. Though I have invited her and my dad over to see our place. They didn't say much.
MY POINT IS... everytime we mention going over to my parents house my fiance rolls his eyes, says things like "I suppose I can play nice for an hour or two." While I see where he's coming from and I wish my parents weren't like this, there's nothing I can do to change them and I don't want to cut them out completely. I have expressed to my parents how I perseve how they treat me/my fiance/us. They don't say much in regards to my perception.
How to help my mom stay out of it or how to help my fiance and I better "counter attack" or ignore completely my mom's comments/attitude... something.
Re: MOB won't mind her own business
This. In a perfect world we would all get along OR treat our loved ones with respect by respecting their loved on even if we disagree. But it isn't a perfect word. You can talk until your blue in the face to your parents about their attitude but it would be a waste of your time. Best you can do is handle your own. If they get mean then leave...that simple.
i disagree. If it is your parents I think you can take actions to better their actions around you. My mother doesn't like my husband. No one agrees with her and her reasoning. But I told her this is what I wanted to do and I love him and we want to be together. It is MY decision, not hers. If she doesn't like it, she can kick rocks. She knows how I feel and there have been a few times where she has made sarcastic comments or comments I don't want to hear about my husband and guess what, I leave and don't speak to her for a while. She knows I will not have that attitude, that I am married to this man for better or worse whether she likes it or not. So to have a relationship with her daughter she needs to watch her actions and what she says around us. Cuz it's not me and him anymore. You insult or attack him, you are attacking me. She understands that now. So you need to draw a line of what you(meaning you AND your husband) will accept and what you will not, let her know and stick to it. She will soon understand. Harsh? Yes. Will it work? Most likely.
now when it's the in laws, it's harder cuz you need to convince the husband to stand up too and it's not always as easy. I'm having this issue right now.
A) How old are you?