January 2012 Weddings
Dear Community,

Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.

If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.

Thank you.

Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.

Money and family (long post)

So it seems about that time that everyone is struggling with money (like it ever stops haha). Jared and I are sustaining ourselves until June, when he starts working. Until then, of course we are both in school and no income, but we will make it. We JUST finished paying off Jared's car (yay!). When Jared got it in 2008, the car loan was taken out in his dad's name, for a lower interest rate, but we had the control over the account, monthly payments, etc. His dad just recently signed the car over to us with, luckily, no drama. However, in 2009, Jared's car was "jumped" wrong and long story short, needed a new $5,000 battery. We didn't have the money to drop on it so his dad was willing to pay for it, and we would do monthly payments until it was paid off.

Jared's mom owns a food vender business and works weekends at a local flea market, where Jared used to work every weekend with her. The last weekend of every month, Jared's dad would show up, rubbing in the fact that we owed him money, and took the money that his mom had just paid him for his work that weekend. After about a year of this rudeness, we paid AT LEAST 12 months of payments of 200 dollars, totaling 2400. All payments were made in cash since that's how Jared's mom paid him at the flea market. After a year of his dad holding this money over our heads, we decided we wanted to pay him a lump sum of the remaining 2600 so we didn't have to hear about it anymore. His dad got extremely insulted that we didn't want to deal with his monthly rudeness, and wouldn't let us pay anymore, saying once Jared was out of school and got a job, we could pay it back. The past year or so this has been in the back of my mind, with his dad bringing it up every so often still.

Of course it came up again, when his dad realized the car was paid off. We got a letter with the car title from his dad basically saying "here's the title. we need to talk about how you're going to pay me back for the battery". So I had Jared call his dad yesterday, saying that within the first few months of Jared working at Amazon, we will pay back the 2600. His dad is now saying that we never made any big payments, may a hundred or two, so we still owe him the 5,000.

 

Looking back, I wish we had kept record. But I was new in the family, and not trusting family members wasn't something I grew up with. It's so frustrating that his dad doesn't even remember coming every single month for over a year to take that money directly from Jared. I swear he was high, drunk, or both. There is no way we're paying more than the 2600 that we owe him. I wish we had the money to pay him right now. But I guess July will come soon enough. It's bad, but I am tired of dealing with his family... I hate guilt trips, I hate owing  people anything, and I hate how Jared's mom doesn't have our back, even though she remembers all of the payments.

Wow, that turned out longer than expected. I hope that all makes sense. I know it sounds bad, but I can't wait until we have no more legal ties to Jared's parents. We have our own car insurance, pay for our own schooling, housing, etc. They don't pay anything.

 

OH! And his dad, in the same conversation, said he was going to "claim" Jared as a dependent on taxes, even though he didn't pay for anything last year. His dad got quite offended and mad when I insisted that, no, he was not going to claim Jared. Then we got the whole "I guess I won't be supporting Jared anymore...". He doesn't and never did. Jared has put himself through school, especially the last couple of years. Ugh, so frustrating.

His family makes me need to take antacids haha

Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker 

image


Re: Money and family (long post)

  • Sorry for the rant :p I just had to get it off my chest. Other than that, life is gooood :)
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker 

    image


  • I am so sorry you guys are going through this. My advice is to pay him the $2600in July and that's it. Also, do not let him claim Jared as a dependent. That's not fair. My DH's parents did that a few years ago and it really screwed him. He filed his own and then ended up having to pay back the IRS thousands over the course of a few years.

    I must say that money sucks. It causes such problems. My parents help DH and I out from time to time but his parents rarley ever. My mom doesn't want to see us get behind on our bills, especially rent, so she will give us $200-300 at a time, if needed. His mom makes a big deal if we ask her for $50. We don't want to have to take money from either sets of parents, it's just been a really rough time with DH and I. Hopefully by Septemeber one of us will be hired for a full time teaching job.


    Married the love of my life on 1-21-12. Our princess arrived on 5-28-13.
    Image and video hosting by TinyPic    imageimage"Image">image
  • imageTaraW1979:

    I am so sorry you guys are going through this. My advice is to pay him the $2600in July and that's it. Also, do not let him claim Jared as a dependent. That's not fair. My DH's parents did that a few years ago and it really screwed him. He filed his own and then ended up having to pay back the IRS thousands over the course of a few years.

    I must say that money sucks. It causes such problems. My parents help DH and I out from time to time but his parents rarley ever. My mom doesn't want to see us get behind on our bills, especially rent, so she will give us $200-300 at a time, if needed. His mom makes a big deal if we ask her for $50. We don't want to have to take money from either sets of parents, it's just been a really rough time with DH and I. Hopefully by Septemeber one of us will be hired for a full time teaching job.

     

    We are going to pay him 2600 in July and that's it. Because honestly, that's what we owe him. We had to tell him specifically "we're married. You can't claim Jared. You won't claim Jared". So he better not haha

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker 

    image


  • I'm sorry you have to deal with that. Money issues really suck, especially when they involve family. I hope Jared's dad doesn't give you too much trouble after you pay back the $2600.
  • I can completely understand where you are coming from. My father has a habit of volunteering to give us money, but then holding it over our heads to get us to do what we want. I want to be financially independent as well. I agree with everyone that you should pay him no more than you owe him, as soon as you can.
    photo sig_zps7d54b52d.jpg
    Daisypath Anniversary tickers


    BabyFruit Ticker 

      
  • DH's mom is known for holding things over his head. She let us borrow the money for the wedding and we pay her a set amount each month but if we even so much as mention we are gonig out of town we get 100 questions. DH will just lie about it to her and say we are going to my sisters or something and it just ticks me off. I told him no more, if she can't deal with us having a life I don't know what to tell her. She is the one who offered us the money, we never once asked her for it.
    Lilypie - (2f9f)Lilypie - (y2el)
    Daisypath - (30fE)

  • Thanks for the support! Part of me feels like I'm over reacting, but I know how unreasonable his dad is. I know I'll be stressed out until we're even. I'm glad you all didn't say I was crazy haha
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker 

    image


Sign In or Register to comment.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards