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Long Distance Marriage? Help!

H and I have been married for 2 years and together for 7. We did the long distance thing after college for about 6 months and he ended up moving closer to me. H just got a fantastic job offer in another part of the state but we can't move just yet because I am in Nursing school. He is gone 90% of the time and we have not even had the opportunity to spend a full day together since he started the position. I was very supportive of him taking this job but was not fully prepared for the toll that it seems to be taking on our relationship. I understand and empathize with the fact that there are many wives out there that are away from their h's for extended periods of time, I'm just looking for some ideas/advise to stay connected... any advice that you can give would be very helpful! :)

Re: Long Distance Marriage? Help!

  • I would suggest during the times you are together to do the things that you connect on the most.  Make the most of the time you have, make memories.  You can Skype or FaceTime a couple of times a week, send cards through the mail for no particular reason.  Maybe find new things to do or explore during the time you are together.  While you are apart don't let the negative aspect drag you down.  Keep yourself busy and keep enjoying life!  Paradise

     

    fromtheheart.labellabaskets.com   Gift

  • My husband and I did long distance for years.  The furthest we were was seven hours and the closest (before moving in together) was four hours.

    We called every night after 9pm (cell phone minutes).  We chatted for as short or as long as we wanted.  Some nights, I'd fall asleep before he called, but waking up to a message was lovely.

    We'd visit once a month.  That weekend that we had together was ours.  We didn't do anything else but hang out with each other.  

    With both of us being so busy during those times, it worked.  Completely.  I'm sorry you guys are far apart now and I hope you find a system that works for you.

  • H is in med school so he's constantly moving every 3 months.  To keep our income and my sanity, I stay back in our hometown and work.  We talk on the phone, send emails to each other of things we find that remind us of each other, and he comes home every chance he gets. When we were dating and he had a permanent address, I would send cards and little letters to him about what I did that day (even if we were going to talk before he got the letter), and I was sure to include him in decisions even though he wasn't physically present.
    Where there is love, there is life.-Ghandi
  • I used this site for great ideas to do with my bf: 103 Long Distance Activities & Ideas

    imageimageimageimageimageimageimageCafeMom Tickers

  • It's definitely tough. My H works in a different time zone with a 3 hour difference. It's hard to fit in those phone calls when he's still working and we're getting ready to go to bed here. We text during the day, but if I want to share moments from our family I will post them on Facebook or send him a video. It's hard to remember ( for me at least ) that he misses us too. Because he's so far away doesn't mean he isn't wishing he could have both worlds. Maybe you already do that, but sharing videos and pictures helps lessen the distance.
  • My husband and I are in a long-distance marriage, although I am in the military so it was almost expected. I was supposed to be deployed for a year so he went away to get his Master's degree, and low and behold I wasn't deployed so now we are living on separate coasts until he finishes his Masters. It is difficult at times, especially since my job has odd hours we might only be up for 4-5 hours at the same time, and most of that time is busy. Until you are able to finish your degree (and finish it! dont just throw in the towel so you can be together again!) make the best of the distance by planning "dates" and doing things for each other. Like have dinner together over Skype, cook the same meal together and see whose turned out better lol. Watch a movie or Youtube/Hulu/Netflix together using Google+. And care packages! Send him some homemade cookies, ect. Maybe he can send you flowers. If you have the money, fly in and surprise the other if your schedules allow it. My husband showed up on my doorstep on Halloween, best trick or treater of the night! If you do visit each other or you plan a surprise trip, have a plan for what you will do together so you don't waste time wondering "what to do" with the weekend...unless all you really want to do is stay in bed together!

    I would say communication is SUPER important, but admittedly it seems like a lose-lose situation. You either talk too much that you have nothing to talk about and you feel like you wasted time that you could have spent doing work. Or you don't talk enough and you feel like all you do is work and that you "never" talk anymore. Honestly, this is just because you miss each other and not to worry about. Only worry if everyyy time you talk you get in a big fight. But still have a special time each day for a phone call, whether in the morning before work, at lunch, or before you go to bed. Don't compromise on this time together! And above all support one another, support his job and don't make him feel guilty about being away. And hopefully he supports your school and doesn't make you feel guilty about finishing your degree. In the end time will pass and you will get to that weekend to be together, and then you will get to the day you can finally live together again.

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