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Wife appreciation night
In March the local fire dept that my hubby is apart of hosts a "firefighter wife night" where the husbands do special things for the wives, etc to say thank-you for being so supportive... i think its a very kind sweet gesture, but i just don't know if its needed, I mean i know its a tough job to be a wife to a fire fighter, but i don't need to be showered with gifts and a nice dinner, just to know I've done a good thing.. i love my husband and i support him, and i don't need him to shower me with appreciation, i know he appreciates me, well now my hubby is angry with me saying i am selfish and that i am not supportive if i dont attend a night for it.... which makes no sense to me, i just love my husband, i dont need a night of thankyous and gifts and dinners to show me how "appreciated" i am...
Just a rant...not looking for much advice, just confused.
Re: Wife appreciation night
The firefighters are getting together to try and do something nice for their wives, and you actually have a PROBLEM with this?
Um, o.k......
Look, I get it - i don't "need" a night of thank yous from my DH. I know he appreciates me (he's not a firefighter but he has a job w/ a weird schedule that puts a lot of the day to day responsibilities on me). but if he and his coworkers went to the effort to do this, I'd take it in the vein it was meant and I'd enjoy it. It makes THEM feel good. You can't throw him a bone on this?
~Benjamin Franklin
DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10
I dont support it no, i didnt explain the whole thing clear enough i apologize, the night itself was created BY the wives, and the husbands go out and they buy things and cook dinners and order food and such...
~Benjamin Franklin
DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10
Yeah, that is weirder.
I'm still chortling at your husband calling you selfish for saying no thanks to something that's supposed to be about you and what you want. How did you manage to keep a straight face at that? Or did you?
I'm with you, OP. My dad was a firefighter for nearly 30 years, and he showed his appreciation for my mom by being equally involved in the housework and childrearing when he was home, and if he really wanted to do something special, he would plan something for the two of them, not tell her she had to go hang out with his co-workers' wives.
The event sounds like a nice gesture, but that doesn't mean that you're obligated to go. If it's not your thing, there's nothing wrong with that. Politely declining is perfectly acceptable, and your husband's reaction seems kind of silly. He can cook for you at home or you could go out for a nice date instead.
These wives sound special.
About your H, is this important to him? Are him and his buddies in the fire house competing to see who does better on gifts? Is your H maybe looking forward to showing off you his wife? I'm just trying to see if you have thought why he would react this way and get so upset. Personally I think it's kind of funny that he is upset that you don't want to go. You'd think he'd be happy he is off the hook!!
Yeah, this just sounds more and more ridiculous. There's no reason this charade of appreciation has to be a group activity.
Good Grief. If you end up going please come back and tell us all about it. You could always ask for something bizarre and laugh as your H begs you not to go!
Your OP was more about "I don't need this night. I know he appreciates me". But I think the issue is more that this actually isn't really about HIM showing you appreciation. It's about you/the wives appreciating yourselves! It's weird. And i'd try to explain that aspect of it to him.
And try to put him in your shoes. Tell him "If in order to show you how much I loved you, I told you to make us dinner and buy a gift for yourself and all I did was pay for it - can you REALLY say that you'd feel that this is ME showing you how much i love you?".
That being said - if it's important to him, especially being the new guy, that you participate, I'd tell him "Because I love you, I'm going to participate this year. But understand that this will be the only year I participate.".
But hopefully you can explain to him what the real issue is. It's not about him, it's not about you. It's about this weird "self appreciation" night these women have put together and how it just doesn't sit right with you.
~Benjamin Franklin
DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10
LOL
Nothing says appreciation like naked pictures!!