Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
why does the media tell us that men are just dying to sleep with women?
I came onto this board to discuss some issues that I see below A TON of women are already having problems with - namely, that in their particular relationship, the woman has a higher libido than the man.
Sometimes I wonder if many women's disappointment is directly correlated to having certain expectations about sexual life. The modern media seems to tell us that men are just dying to jump women. Think about it - lots of comedies about marriage rest on the premise that the man wants sex, and the woman is too tired and witholds it.
But, that seems not to be the case! Just as some men probably want more spark from their relationships, plenty of women do too. Personally, I've struggled a lot with wondering why my husband doesn't "want me as badly" as "most men" want their partners.
I think this is really unfair, both to men and to women. For women, it means that unless they marry someone with a very high libido, they will be doomed to think they are not getting a suitable amount of sexual attention from their spouse. For men, it puts an unreasonable amount of sexual responsibility on their shoulders.
Thoughts? Just opening this up for discussion...
Re: why does the media tell us that men are just dying to sleep with women?
Ha, well that's true that there are a few examples! However, I still think that the idea of women holding out in marriage is more common in the media. Just take the recent movie "The Change Up," for example - pretty much the entire premise of the movie was that single men get to sleep with a lot of women, and married men have to put up with a more passionless way of life. And look at Cosmo! A lot of fashion magazines try to convince women that their partner/spouse just NEEDS them to be sexual ALL THE TIME.
I could go on forever with examples of this - men are just considered to be sexual creatures. I remember reading in a magazine once that men think about sex every 7 seconds [or something like that]. Men always want to get women into bed in movies and TV shows.
From a psychological point of view, men reach their highest libido in their late teens and then it slows down. Woman usually reach it in their thirties or later. One thing you could do is schedule a date night, and wear some sexy lingerie and tease him a bit. They won't usually say no to that!
Yeah, most people in today's society ASSUME that the man in the relationship has a higher libido. In my case, it's the total opposite of the "norm" and it always has been. I'm in my early 30's and DH is in his mid-30's. He has problems with ED and low libido.
I was furious one time when we went on a double date with an older couple (wife in her 50's and husband in his 60's). We were very much newlyweds at the time and of course, we don't discuss our intimate details with people, so nobody actually knows that my libido is way higher than DH's.
Anyway, at this dinner, DH and I had a disagreement (nothing big) and were discussing our different viewpoints. In the end, it turned out DH was "right" about the disagreement. (It wasn't even a fight, just a discussion). Then the wife of the older couple smiles really big and says to me (for all to hear) "ooohhh, you better make it up to him tonight girl!"
Wait, what!? Did she actually say that?
I wanted to lash out at her so badly and "correct" her way of thinking and set her straight, but of course, I couldn't do that as it would reveal way to much about our personal life. I just coughed under my breath and rolled my eyes and then said sarcastically, "right."
Ugh, I'll never forget that conversation. People just have no idea. And the lady didn't even know that what she said actually hurt me a lot because of DH's ED problems. It's hard enough that I'm the one who gets rejected most of the time and has to initiate sex, but it's even harder that half the time we "try" it doesn't even happen. Ugh. People need to stop assuming things about others' intimate lives.