Relationships
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Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
excuses
i am just frustrated. Been together for 5 years and married for 2. we got a surprise and had our wonderful son 4 years ago. We both talk about having another child but there was always a good reason to wait. we just had one lets wait for a bit. we need our own place. we need to be married, we need to make more money. now its we need a house first.
now say all those in my husbands voice. He say he wants to have another child, but it just seems every time we cross something of the checklist he adds an new one. It never really bothered me much before but lately i just feel that it is time.
maybe im just venting or maybe i am overreacting.
Re: excuses
Baby Boy loved for 15 weeks, 5/31/11
Baby Girl loved for 16.5 weeks. 3/1/12
All of that sounds about right.
I am a fan of the theory that "if you wait until everything is perfect, you will never get it done." But if you don't have your own place, aren't married, and can't comfortably afford a child, it's probably best to wait.
i will admit the first year was hard on us. we were living with his parents and i really did understand the lets get our own place line. but its been 3 years we both have winderful jobs and are able to support a growing family. we are in the process of house hunting. we talked about it today and he says he now wants to wait awhile after we move in the house..... like 6 months or so. when i asked why he said wants to wait till our son is outta daycare.
i seriously want to cry. its a new excuse.
I think your DH is trying to come at this from a logical place, which is actually good. He's thinking, well we want to get settled in the new house, probably some increased living expenss from the new place, gee if we just wait a few months, DS will be out of daycare and then we won't have to pay for two in daycare.
i get you want another child, but I'm not seeing where he doesn't want one. He is just trying to figure out the best time to have one.
I don't see his explanations as excuses. I see it as planning for the best possible time.
Trust me, as someone that is probably your parent's age: being in the best possible place financially is always a good thing. In this world things change quickly, one of your employers could downsize, or a health issue arises and you have a mortgage to pay, etc. Plus, daycare is expensive and having one child in pre-school, kindgergarten or latchkey after school and another in daycare is cheaper.
Unless you are pushing 40 and having another child would become difficult, I don't see the problem with waiting. It may simply be you are reading too much into his planning/explanations and there are other things going on. There is nothing wrong with having a few years between children. My kids, both unplanned, are 7 years apart and each got a lot more of my attention, almost like an only child, than they would have if they'd been closer in age. I'm not saying there's anything wrong with siblings being close in age, I'm simply saying there's nothing wrong with waiting.