Relationships
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Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
My MIL is driving me insane.
My MIL is a very nice woman, but she is extremely overbearing towards my husband (her son). My husband's father walked out when he was 3 and she has not had any serious relationships since. She had basically replaced a significant other with my hubby. When our son was two months old we moved into her house to stay with her while waiting for our house to be built. On numerous occasions I would ask her to watch my son so I could run the the store etc, just easier and quicker sometimes. Well she would forget to feed him, throw off his schedule and not even care. we got into it a few times, and my husband and I found a place for rent for the duration of our house being built. Well I thought this would help my relationship with my MIL I was wrong! If I ever leave my son with her she lets him nap whenever, does not care about the schedule and when I get upset and say something to her, I'm the bad guy and my husband and I end up arguing about it later. Cutting off contact with her is out of the question, she has no other immediate family then my husband and he would never be able to do that to her. How do I get my husband to understand why I'm upset, and how can I improve on a relationship with his mother?
Re: My MIL is driving me insane.
That's what I was thinking. It sounds like your only real problem is that your free babysitter isn't doing things the way you want them done. That's why people hire babysitters, so they can set out rules and expect them to be followed to the letter.
And FWIW my kid's schedule gets all thrown off when Grandma comes because she's way more fun than mommy. It's not going to kill him to go off schedule for a couple of hours here and there.
~Benjamin Franklin
DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10
*gives ECB a standing ovation*
Chronically hilarious - you'll split your stitches!
I wrote a book! Bucket list CHECK!
http://notesfortheirtherapist.blogspot.co.uk
High five!
And also, I'm curious as to why you would marry a man who was such a mama's boy if you can't stand it. Why not find a man who was NOT a mama's boy?
Yep, this. It's pretty straightforward, don't let her babysit your son. Problem solved.
The best advice I got after having DD was:
If those who watch the baby will not or do not do as you say, then they do not get to watch the baby.
Of course this was from the pedi and it was over sleeping on the back and not giving a two week old straight water, etc.
You maybe being a bit hard on your MIL. But you are your child's mother and if you feel her care is not correct or is not right for your child that is really all that matters.
Im right there with ya.. Not along the lines of kids ( cause we have none and will not). My MIL husband passed with my H was 19, and like your MIL my MIL replaced her husband with her son. She has not had a serious male relationship in 17yrs. My H became her substitute. She is completely emotionally dependent on him. It turns my stomach slightly to see how she treats him. I brought It to my H attention and until i did a little role reversal ( using me and my father) he was completely oblivious to it. But now completely agrees and is working on it from his end. She is slightly self absorbed and closed minded ( so we treat her like an infant) about emotions and change. Talk to your H about how you feel. Maybe he just doesnt realize the situation with his mother, sometimes if you in a situation you really cant see how it is until you look at it from another perspective.
Good luck
I get the feeling there is much more to the picture than just "oh she forgets to feed my son."
I also get the idea that you are not happy, you argue about his mother...and he will not take your side or be a team with you.
THAT is the big problem, not your FMIL.
If he can't work with you and stand together with you on everything, you're going to not only have a rough road, but you're also going to take a back seat to his mother indefinitely.
And this is patently okay with you, all of it.
I don't give your marriage a snowball in hell. Sorry.
You get what you pay for. If you want somebody to follow your rules to the exact letter when watching your kid, then you need to step up and pay somebody to do just that.
I'm more than willing to start validating people's ideas when they start having ideas worth validating