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WWYD - funeral

So my bosses mom passed and the viewing is tomorrow. I was going to go out, and pay my respects.  Is it disrespectful to take EJ with me?  My boss makes her little treat bags for holidays/etc.  We won't be staying long so she won't have time to misbehave. WWYD? Go before daycare pickup or take her with me?

Re: WWYD - funeral

  • I do not take my kids to funeral homes.  We've never had a close family member pass away since my kids have been born, so I may in that situation, but I just don't feel like it's a place for kids.  I know that there are many differing opinions on this.  
  • I would take her and even have EJ pay her little respects too! It may help your boss cope a little better...she may just bring a small smile to the sad event.
    Kristen&Randy Married:6/30/2007 Had Faith 6/17/2008 Robbie 10/12/2011 image photos by Oh What Love Photography and Design imageDaisypath Anniversary tickers Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • imagewaltsgirl102503:
    I do not take my kids to funeral homes.  We've never had a close family member pass away since my kids have been born, so I may in that situation, but I just don't feel like it's a place for kids.  I know that there are many differing opinions on this.  

    I agree.  I did take Jake to my grandfather's funeral, but he was only about 2.5 months old, so I didn't feel comfortable leaving him anywhere for that long (the services were out of town, and all of my family was there)

    The Blog - Parenting: Uncensored


    imageimage

    Jake - 1.15.08
    Liam - 5.17.11
  • EJ has been to 2 or 3 church services for funerals, and was at the viewing for K's grandmother (open casket). All of this within the past 2 years. My mom never took me to anything like that and when I first had experienced going to one I was a teenager and it was very scary for me. I don't want to hide her from the normal rituals surrounding death. K and I still have 3 living grandparents... there is more to come but I just thought it might make my boss smile. Also, her family is the kind to make inappropriate jokes in very serious situations.  So I don't think they would be uptight. I dunno...
  • My uncle and grandma both died and I took Jackson to the funeral home in those instances. But I didn't take them when my best friend's grandma died, or any situations like those. If you can leave her home, i probably would.
    imageimage
  • you know your child best.  If you are fine with her being there and you think she will be fine being there then you should take her.  I don't think the family would be offended.  You won't be there long and as long as she's not running amuk most people probably won't notice.
     
  • image6307bride:
    I would take her and even have EJ pay her little respects too! It may help your boss cope a little better...she may just bring a small smile to the sad event.

    I agree with this.  DD has had to go to to quite a few funerals the past 2 years.  DH's grandmother, FIL and my Gigi.  I tend to think of funerals more of celebrations of life and the presence of kids keeps that into perspective.

    imageBaby Birthday Ticker Ticker Baby Birthday Ticker Tickera>
  • It would really depend on the scenario for me.  In general, I would not bring my children to a funeral home unless it was a family member.

    If I was comfortable bringing my child, it would ultimately depend on the family.  Some may think it's inappropriate to have a child there, some may be welcoming of the idea - so I would base my decision on that. 

  • You're going to honor your boss, so I would go with whatever you think she would be comfortable with.  If you think it will make her smile to have an EJ hug, do it. I wouldn't worry about the rest of the family and their preferences (assuming you don't know them.)  Your boss is the one you're reaching out to.

    You've already said that you're not going to let her run amok or be a disturbance, so I think it is fine to take her, so long as your comfortable with it. (Which it sound like you are.)


  • imagedenalea:

    You're going to honor your boss, so I would go with whatever you think she would be comfortable with.  If you think it will make her smile to have an EJ hug, do it. I wouldn't worry about the rest of the family and their preferences (assuming you don't know them.)  Your boss is the one you're reaching out to.

    You've already said that you're not going to let her run amok or be a disturbance, so I think it is fine to take her, so long as your comfortable with it. (Which it sound like you are.)


    Agree. Thus far we've managed to avoid the kids seeing an open casket (I'n not really a fan either), but they've been to a number of viewings and funerals with no issue. And most people seem relieved and/or happy to see them. The only funeral I didn't even consider taking them to was for a 39 year old friend who died suddenly. It was so shocking and emotions were so raw that there was no visitation and the whole crowd was nearly silent through the whole funeral. The kids wouldn't have been a positive distraction there.

    You know your boss and your kid. Trust your instincts. Hugs! 

    Heather Margaret --- Feb '07 and Todd Eldon --- April '09

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  • The only funeral I've taken DD to was SIL's (she was 4mo). SIL was so in love with her that there was no question in my mind she should be there. So basically I guess I judge based on the relationship between the child and the deceased. So in your case, I'd probably leave her at home. But I don't think it's like the world's worst faux pas if you take her. Everyone views these things differently.
  • I wouldn't have a problem taking Caileigh to a funeral home & if it was more convenient to take her I would.  She has been to a few already.   Usually I don't stay long at viewings anyway unless I really am close to the family so its not enough time for them to go anywhere other than my side anyway.  I think its a good thing to expose kids to all life experiences so I don't have a problem with it.  Just be ready for questions after!

     Also - when was the last time she saw EJ?   I bet she would love to see her if its been awhile.   Definitely adds levity to the situation. And good for EJ to say hi to the person that sends her nice treats. 

    photo 332252f4-f278-4d48-99f9-c275d87c3339.jpg
    How time flies! Caileigh (9), Keira (6) & Eamon (3)







  • imageAmandaJLewis:
    EJ has been to 2 or 3 church services for funerals, and was at the viewing for K's grandmother (open casket). All of this within the past 2 years. My mom never took me to anything like that and when I first had experienced going to one I was a teenager and it was very scary for me. I don't want to hide her from the normal rituals surrounding death. K and I still have 3 living grandparents... there is more to come but I just thought it might make my boss smile. Also, her family is the kind to make inappropriate jokes in very serious situations.  So I don't think they would be uptight. I dunno...

    We never had anyone close to us pass as kids and my sister is terrified at funerals.  She didn't even go in the room for my grandma or grandpa's.  I have taken B to several viewings as a toddler so I don't think it's inappropriate

    ourblackandgoldworld.blogspot.com
  • imagelala5507:
    you know your child best.  If you are fine with her being there and you think she will be fine being there then you should take her.  I don't think the family would be offended.  You won't be there long and as long as she's not running amuk most people probably won't notice.

    I agree with this and what the other poster said about how it might cheer up your boss a bit to see her - all, of course, if you think EJ will be okay with it. (Now, if your boss disliked kids, that would be another story!)

    But, I'm also the parent that doesn't believe in shielding my children from death. It's a natural part of life and I know that my kids can handle it. Just be prepared to answer questions.

    image
    My three sons!

  • well, decision made... EJ said she would rather stay at school later into the day than go with me.  thanks for all of the feedback ladies.  I appreciate it!
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