Pittsburgh Nesties
billiburrows
member
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Question for moms of 2
When i had my son my husband stayed in the hospital with us. we sent the baby to the nursery the first night (because i had just given birth) and he roomed with us for the other 2? nights.
Now that we are having our second child coordinating my husband being able to spend that time with us is going to be difficult. I was wondering how people have handled this and what their thoughts are (ie- did you stay there alone and regret not having made arrangements to have your husband there?). i'm worried about how my physical and emotional state will be at that time...
TIA!
Re: Question for moms of 2
I don't have 2 kids. But we did have dogs to worry about
) So I sent K home after I had given birth so he could get them out, and he would come back in the morning. Plus I figured he would sleep better at our house anyway. I tried to get him to stay at home the second night too, but he wanted to stay with us at the hospital. So my sister came and stayed the night with the dogs for us.
I am a weird gal though, I like being alone and had no issues with him being home overnight. also he snored the night he stayed with me. I was not pleased. hahaha.
We had planned for DD to stay with my parents on night 1 and my ILs on night two. Night 1, DH stayed over as planned (and I actually sent DS to the nursery for most of the night, unlike the first time but I really wanted to take advantage of the extra sleep this time)!
However, DD did not do well on her overnight, in fact she barely slept. She refused to nap the next day, so DH ended up going to get her and she spent most of the day in bed with me at the hospital, then he went home to stay with her that night. It was easier for me to have him there, but I felt more relaxed knowing she was at home and resting, so it all worked out.
My advice is to have a plan for DH to stay if you can, but be willing to reevaluate it if you have to. I also had a regular birth, so if I'd had a C we may have had less flexibility.
Jake - 1.15.08
Liam - 5.17.11
My parents and in-laws live in the area, so it was easy for us to make arrangements for Mason while I was in the hospital. They watched Mason over night and DH stayed in the hospital with me the whole time. For me personally, I should have had DH go home. Mason handled staying with the grandparents wonderfully, but I will be honest and say that my physical/emotional state resulted in DH REALLY getting on my nerves, so I would have been better off with him staying home! If we have another, he will maybe stay over the first night (I'm in for 3 b/c of c-sections), but I'm definitely kicking him out the others!
Everyone is different, so it will really depend on how you are feeling. If you're not sure, I would make arrangements for someone to watch your son if you need them to, that way you have the option to have your husband stay or go home.
DD was almost 3 and had never spend the night with anyone but us. Luckily it worked out :-) My water broke around 10:30pm and my SIL came to stay with DD (she was in bed sleeping). DS was born quickly (shortly after 12) and DH went home at 5, before DD even woke up and got her ready and brought her to the hospital to visit.
After that, I spent a lot of time alone at the hospital. Which I actually kind of enjoyed. It was nice not having to "share" DS. DH and DD came to visit for short periods of time. I called friends. I sent DS to the nursery for the night and got some rest.
I was a sad when DH and DD left to go home the first night, mostly because DD was upset--but once I got past that, I really enjoyed the one-on-one time with DS.
ETA: I also asked for (and was granted) an early discharge. So my hospital stay was really just 1 full night in my PP room--but that really had more to do with not having maternity coverage. If I had stayed another night, DH would have stayed home with DD again.
Our dog and our dd stayed with my parents. DD had stayed with them several times before this, so things went pretty well.
They brought her to the hospital both days I was there. That part was kind of confusing/hard for her but she was only 18 months and was having trouble understanding everything. But the actual staying with my parents went just fine.
I like having dh there. He would go and get me non-hospital food and did all the diaper changes for me and brought the baby to me when they needed to eat so I wouldn't have to get up as much. But then again, if they baby had staying in the nursery I wouldn't have needed him there.
With conall, we had a scheduled induction one week early, so my Mom was able to fly up and stay with Gavin. My husband stayed that first afternoon and night with me and the baby. After that night he went home and brought Mom and Gavin to the hospital to see us and then went back home. He ended up spending early evenings with us in the hospital, but slept at home, which was fine wiht me. I sent the baby to the nursery around 11pm and got to sleep until about 3am, when they brought him back to me.
With Sean, he came 5 days before my induction, and came fast. Our neighbor sat in the house while the older two slept (about 11p-6:30am). Since Sean was born at 12:30a, DH was able to get home for the morning routine of sending them to school and daycare. He came back to the hospital around lunch time and spent a few hours with Sean and I, then home to get everyone home. My Mom moved her flight up a day and got in on Tuesday morning; DH picked her up on the way to the hospital and they spent the afternoon with us. Back home to get the older ones and then DH drove back down to bring us a nice dinner and spend a couple of more hours (in which I was able to get Gavin's Christmas pageant outfit finished for the next day!).
Honestly, I didn't mind the quiet time and I worried less, because I would be concerned about DH being comfortable on the pull-out, etc. I needed him to be at home with the dog (Mom is not used to dogs) and to get sleep so that he could help out when I got home.
My three sons!
My water broke at midnight. A neighbor slept on our couch so we didn 't have to wake DD. she gave her breakfast and got her to daycare the next morning. My parents drove down from Michigan when I went into labor.
Todd was born in the afternoon and we were settled in our room by the time Heather needed to be picked up, so DH and my dad got her. She's very comfortable with my parents. She wasn't thrilled to go home without mommy and daddy, but she did well and DH stayed at the hospital with us.
With Todd, I had a VBAC, so I was much more physically mobile. I had a C with Heather and having DH there over night was much more critical. We roomed in with the babies mostly. I sleep like crap in hospitals, so I was not going to get good rest no matter where my kid slept...
With C, I gave birth at 11:34pm, but didn't get settled in my pp room until 3:30am after a scare with my blood pressure. DH stayed that night and then went home the second night to get a going home outfit washed (we were Team Green) and do a few other things. I was fine by myself.
This time around, I'm planning on DH being with me for labor and depending on when that is, it may mean him staying the first night again, but if its a mid day type thing I'll probably send him home that night. After that he'll get DD and stay with her the next day/night. I'm sure they'll come visit during the day, but otherwise I feel more comfortable having him stay with her than me and new baby.
-Abbey
Thanks everyone! this is helpful. i think what i may do is:
1. make a list of people who live nearby and would be available for late night/middle of the night, etc.
2. make arrangments for someone to take care of son for at least the first day/night. we have 2 dogs so it would be best for them and my son if someone came to our house. my mom is local but is in poor health and sometimes is out of town for treatment. she is planning on being our go to person but we need back ups just in case. my mother in law is also not in the best of health and lives 1.5 hours away. she might be able to help. both will WANT to help but might not be able.
3. have husband w/me for the first day/night and then be open to him staying home with son. and sending the baby to the nursery at night.
since SHOULD be a scheduled C-section as long as baby sticks to the plan,
I plan on having my parents come the morning of to Stay with DS. Once we are settled in a room they can come with him to meet the baby. then everyone else...anyway. I am thinking they can stay over here with him the first night and DH can stay with me at the Hospital.After that I expect they will go and Dh will end up coming home with DS at least at night, he can always come and go from the hospital with other family.
I had to stay 5 nights after DS was born because he was so jaundice, they actually checked me out and I was rooming with him! Even though they "say" it isn't a heretitary thing we seem to have that problem in our family so I won't be surprised if we have to do that again. I don't expect DH to stay everynight this go and/or DS to be with other people for a week!
Married, September 23, 2006