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Intense Surrogate Story

Re: Intense Surrogate Story

  •  Pro/Anti-choice debate aside...

    She never should have signed the contract if she couldn't adhere to the stipulations due to her beliefs. 

    I think it's terrible a gestational carrier can move to another state and gain legal custody of another couple's biological child that she's carrying. I would be livid if someone made medical decisions for *my* child against my wishes.

    The fact that at one point she was willing to terminate for $15,000, even if she "changed her mind", tells me perhaps her convictions weren't as strong as she wants people to believe.

    I know she'll be seen as a heroine for the Anti-Choicers but I'm Team Bio Parents on this one. Once the surrogate signed the contract, she committed to following the parents' wishes and she broke that contract.

    I do hope that baby lives as comfortable of a life as she can while she is here. 


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  • It's sad.  the genetic parents didn't want her and the one who gave birth to her couldn't afford her, so now she is with the adoptive parents.  Kuddos to them.
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  • So many grey areas. Wow, how sad for every one involved...and then she finds out that the embryos came from a donor and not from the woman adoptor in question!
  • I just can't stop thinking about the poor little girl born to suffer.  She has severe issues and most likely won't live long.  And all because of someone's misguided "morality."

     Oh yeah, the surrogate is so moral that she lied to the parents and signed something saying she would abort in the case of severe abnormalities with the fetus, but then refuses to do it.  Oh yeah, she's so moral that she would have taken an extra $5,000 and had an abortion, but when the couple refuses to be extorted, she stole what should have been THEIR decision, and made the choice herself.  This surrogate makes my blood boil.  Opportunist to the max. 

  • imagevlagrl29:
    It's sad.  the genetic parents didn't want her and the one who gave birth to her couldn't afford her, so now she is with the adoptive parents.  Kuddos to them.

    They are the ones that most deserve the credit in this story, for sure. 

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  • I think there are a lot of things about this story that are morally wrong and mostly with the things that the surrogate did. She should never have agreed to become pregnant if she could not abide by the contract. However, legally under the way our legal system views pregnancy she's 100% legally right under the way right to privacy laws have been interpreted. It doesn't matter whose baby is in there, she currently has a legal right to decide what happens to her body. The bio-parents have no more legal right to tell her what to do than a bio-father has a right to tell a woman to continue to carry or to abort a child. It's either her right to choose or it isn't. Her moral character and potentially financial motivations don't matter just like they don't legally matter in any other abortion situation in our country.

    If the bio-parents are pro-choicers they should have understood that.

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  • The CNN article linked near the top has some more details not in this one.

    I don't have a lot of sympathy for this woman and I really question her motives. Before becoming a surrogate this woman's only income was child support. The article didn't say if she had actually been a surrogate before but she had worked with the agency. She wanted to get pregnant to pay her bills and oh yeah, help another family.

    The bio parents/ dad wanted a surrogate to carry their child because their other children were born premature and still had medical problems as a result. They wanted this child to avoid what their other children had gone through. I completely understand them wanting to terminate the pregnancy to save their youngest child from suffering.

    The surrogate was getting paid monthly. The $10,000 the parents were willing to pay for the surrogate to have an abortion is basicly what they would have paid her to carry the baby to term. That wasn't enough for the surrogate to agree. She would have had an abortion for $5,000 more.

    It's easy for her to say now how she wanted to help another couple, how pro-life and moral she is, and how she cared so much for this baby and wanted to protect her but her actions show how motivated she is by money. Sure she may have morals but they are for sale at a pretty low price. 

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  • I really hope no one is applauding the surrogate for not aborting this baby. Sure, she gave birth to the baby, but then what did she do? Just passed her along to the next family. That poor child.. At least she is in the arms of an actual loving family.
  • imagesnp605:

    I think there are a lot of things about this story that are morally wrong and mostly with the things that the surrogate did. She should never have agreed to become pregnant if she could not abide by the contract. However, legally under the way our legal system views pregnancy she's 100% legally right under the way right to privacy laws have been interpreted. It doesn't matter whose baby is in there, she currently has a legal right to decide what happens to her body. The bio-parents have no more legal right to tell her what to do than a bio-father has a right to tell a woman to continue to carry or to abort a child. It's either her right to choose or it isn't. Her moral character and potentially financial motivations don't matter just like they don't legally matter in any other abortion situation in our country.

    If the bio-parents are pro-choicers they should have understood that.

    This is true. They can sue her for breach of contract, but that's about it. 

    That said, the surrogate is a pretty awful person, IMO. 

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  • I would also love to know who is paying for the millions of dollars in care that this baby is receiving. And if the pro-life advocates are applauding the fact that the taxpayers of Michigan were forced to pick up the tab for the birth.
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  • I also find it interesting that the surrogate's attorney is using the "you can't tell me what I can/must do with my body" argument to defend the pro-life argument of the surrogate.  If pro-life advocates agree with that assertion then they must understand the pro-choice argument.
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  • imagelasposa425:
    I also find it interesting that the surrogate's attorney is using the "you can't tell me what I can/must do with my body" argument to defend the pro-life argument of the surrogate.  If pro-life advocates agree with that assertion then they must understand the pro-choice argument.

    I think it is safe to say a Pro Life person understands the Pro Choice argument, they just don't agree with it. 

    I don't believe the premise is any different, this woman made the choice to continue with her pregnancy just as someone who makes a choice to terminate a pregnancy.  Each woman has that right, to choose what she believes to be in her own best interests (right or wrong, good or bad) it is her choice. 

  • imagecincychick35:

    imagelasposa425:
    I also find it interesting that the surrogate's attorney is using the "you can't tell me what I can/must do with my body" argument to defend the pro-life argument of the surrogate.  If pro-life advocates agree with that assertion then they must understand the pro-choice argument.

    I think it is safe to say a Pro Life person understands the Pro Choice argument, they just don't agree with it. 

    I don't believe the premise is any different, this woman made the choice to continue with her pregnancy just as someone who makes a choice to terminate a pregnancy.  Each woman has that right, to choose what she believes to be in her own best interests (right or wrong, good or bad) it is her choice. 

    Exactly. Pro-lifers do not believe that every (any) woman should have that right. 

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  • imageGeraldoRivera:
    imagecincychick35:

    imagelasposa425:
    I also find it interesting that the surrogate's attorney is using the "you can't tell me what I can/must do with my body" argument to defend the pro-life argument of the surrogate.  If pro-life advocates agree with that assertion then they must understand the pro-choice argument.

    I think it is safe to say a Pro Life person understands the Pro Choice argument, they just don't agree with it. 

    I don't believe the premise is any different, this woman made the choice to continue with her pregnancy just as someone who makes a choice to terminate a pregnancy.  Each woman has that right, to choose what she believes to be in her own best interests (right or wrong, good or bad) it is her choice. 

    Exactly. Pro-lifers do not believe that every (any) woman should have that right. 

    Oh I call bullcrap on that.  I know several women who staunchly believe women have a right to choose but don't believe in late term or partial birth abortion.  Does that negate their Pro-Choice view? 

  • imagecincychick35:
    imageGeraldoRivera:
    imagecincychick35:

    imagelasposa425:
    I also find it interesting that the surrogate's attorney is using the "you can't tell me what I can/must do with my body" argument to defend the pro-life argument of the surrogate.  If pro-life advocates agree with that assertion then they must understand the pro-choice argument.

    I think it is safe to say a Pro Life person understands the Pro Choice argument, they just don't agree with it. 

    I don't believe the premise is any different, this woman made the choice to continue with her pregnancy just as someone who makes a choice to terminate a pregnancy.  Each woman has that right, to choose what she believes to be in her own best interests (right or wrong, good or bad) it is her choice. 

    Exactly. Pro-lifers do not believe that every (any) woman should have that right. 

    Oh I call bullcrap on that.  I know several women who staunchly believe women have a right to choose but don't believe in late term or partial birth abortion.  Does that negate their Pro-Choice view? 

     ??? 

    You said: 

    Each woman has that right, to choose what she believes to be in her own best interests (right or wrong, good or bad) it is her choice. 

     

    That is the pro-choice position. If you believe that, you are pro-choice. If you don't believe that, you are not. What am I missing here?

    "Partial birth abortion" is not an actual thing, by the way. It's a made up term that has no scientific or medical meaning. 

    image
  • imageGeraldoRivera:
    imagecincychick35:
    imageGeraldoRivera:
    imagecincychick35:

    imagelasposa425:
    I also find it interesting that the surrogate's attorney is using the "you can't tell me what I can/must do with my body" argument to defend the pro-life argument of the surrogate.  If pro-life advocates agree with that assertion then they must understand the pro-choice argument.

    I think it is safe to say a Pro Life person understands the Pro Choice argument, they just don't agree with it. 

    I don't believe the premise is any different, this woman made the choice to continue with her pregnancy just as someone who makes a choice to terminate a pregnancy.  Each woman has that right, to choose what she believes to be in her own best interests (right or wrong, good or bad) it is her choice. 

    Exactly. Pro-lifers do not believe that every (any) woman should have that right. 

    Oh I call bullcrap on that.  I know several women who staunchly believe women have a right to choose but don't believe in late term or partial birth abortion.  Does that negate their Pro-Choice view? 

     ??? 

    You said: 

    Each woman has that right, to choose what she believes to be in her own best interests (right or wrong, good or bad) it is her choice. 

     

    That is the pro-choice position. If you believe that, you are pro-choice. If you don't believe that, you are not. What am I missing here?

    "Partial birth abortion" is not an actual thing, by the way. It's a made up term that has no scientific or medical meaning. 

    "Each woman has that right, to choose what she believes to be in her own best interests (right or wrong, good or bad) it is her choice."

    In the context of this post, I don't see you confusion.  You believe a woman has a right to choose, why does that not extend to a woman's right to choose to NOT terminate a pregnancy?

    And,  partial-birth abortion is a non-medical term used to describe a type of an abortion procedure which is performed in the second and third trimesters of pregnancy, with the goal of delivering a fetus that is not alive. So, while a non-medical term, it is a term which people are aware of in conversation.

  • I am so confused.  If you believe it should be a woman's right to choose what to do with her body then that's the pro-choice view.  Or do you only think a woman has a right to choose what to do with her body when the result is consistent with your religion?
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  • imagelasposa425:
    I am so confused.  If you believe it should be a woman's right to choose what to do with her body then that's the pro-choice view.  Or do you only think a woman has a right to choose what to do with her body when the result is consistent with your religion?

    I don't understand why it is so hard to grasp that I believe a woman reigns supreme over her own body but I also believe in the dignity of life.  I advocate a pro-life stance (duh, I am adopted) but I also understand there are times when an abortion is medically necessary (think the young lady in Ireland who died because she was denied an abortion).

  • That's completely fine if that's your belief but you have to understand where our confusion comes from because saying you only believe in the right to choose if it's medically necessary is inconsistent with what you stated earlier that it should be a woman's right to choose.  Maybe it was just incomplete wording then but your statements appear to be inconsistent whether that was your intention or not.
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  • imagelasposa425:
    That's completely fine if that's your belief but you have to understand where our confusion comes from because saying you only believe in the right to choose if it's medically necessary is inconsistent with what you stated earlier that it should be a woman's right to choose.  Maybe it was just incomplete wording then but your statements appear to be inconsistent whether that was your intention or not.

    Again, it was in the context of this subject regarding the surrogate.  Why would be acceptable for a woman to choose to terminate a pregnancy but not acceptable for a woman to decide NOT to terminate a pregnancy.

    I do believe a woman reigns supreme over her own body.  If she so chooses to terminate her pregnancy, that is her right.  I just personally don't agree with it. 

  • imagecincychick35:

    imagelasposa425:
    That's completely fine if that's your belief but you have to understand where our confusion comes from because saying you only believe in the right to choose if it's medically necessary is inconsistent with what you stated earlier that it should be a woman's right to choose.  Maybe it was just incomplete wording then but your statements appear to be inconsistent whether that was your intention or not.

    Again, it was in the context of this subject regarding the surrogate.  Why would be acceptable for a woman to choose to terminate a pregnancy but not acceptable for a woman to decide NOT to terminate a pregnancy.

    I do believe a woman reigns supreme over her own body.  If she so chooses to terminate her pregnancy, that is her right.  I just personally don't agree with it. 

    I was re-reading and yes, you were referring to this situation.  Sorry for the confusion.  The pro-choice view would certainly support this woman's right to choose to not have an abortion.  That is the whole point of the pro-choice viewpoint: women should be able to choose what happens/doesn't happen to their own bodies.  I think the issue some people had with this particular situation was her breaching the terms of her agreement with the parents.  That said, even if the parents bring a breach of contract claim, I think her lawyer's argument will win (i.e. that she controls what she does with her body, regardless of the language of the contract).

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