Family Matters
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Conflict with Mom

My mom does not like my husband.  Since the first time she met him she has made little digs and stabs at him and when i confronted her about it she seemed to understand how much it hurt me and stopped for a while.  But the other day my husband did something she did not approve of and once again she started talking bad about him, saying how self-centered he is and how the only reason she pretends to put up with him is because you can't choose who you love, making it sound like im a charity case.  This really bothers me because i do realize my husband has some flaws but who's doesn't!  And its really hard to constantly listen to her nagging and all the awful things she says about him. I don't know what to do.

Re: Conflict with Mom

  • Why? What is she hating on your H about. I can't answer until this information is shared. What did he do or say? Has to be more. 
  • I agree with PP - I'm curious what she doesn't like about him.

    But giving him the benefit of the doubt, that's he's a good guy - you need to tell your Mom to knock it off once and for all.  And that if she continues to say bad things to him or about him, you won't be speaking to her anymore.  And stick with it.  She's on the phone with you and makes a snide remark say, "Mom, conversation over.  Bye."  Even if you're in her company, leave.

  • Have you ever stood up to her and told her to stop? You can't make her like him, but you can make her be civil and respectful or she loses access to you. Don't listen to her - interrupt her, hang up the phone, walk out of the room, leave. Make her aware that you will not tolerate her talking about your DH disrespectfully. She needs to get over it, accept him, and move on. And if she won't, then you will move on from her. 
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  • You need to stick up for him. It is what you would want if the roles were reversed. Tell mom that enough is enough, change the subject, or leave.
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