Politics & Current Events
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Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Happy International Women's Day!
Re: Happy International Women's Day!
Interesting! I have no strong feelings about it either way. My first instinct was ugh, another special day, but it's not an attempt at a new hallmark holiday or anything. Since it's geared towards education and empowerment, it seems like a positive. Not sure how much I'll be "celebrating" it though.
Women are equal to men. Women want to be treated as men are treated in terms of rights and employment, pay and benefits. Women want access to the same schools, programs, and career fields as men. Women want families and all the other assets material and perceived that man possess.
All these statements are facts. I agree with them.
But, I have an honest question regarding celebration of women's achievements.
If women want to be seen as and treated as equals to men on all levels, why should women have special celebration days highlighting their acheivements specifically?
Isn't that counterintuitive? I mean, I read a lot and hear a lot of women saying that they want something or that they got something on their own hard work and merit, not due to being female, pretty, or just to fill an AA slot.
So, why then do these days exist when most women want to be seen as the same as, as good as, and as capable as men? A day highlighting women, also highlights the differences between men and women, which many women want to wipe away.
Women like the "gender blind" idea...but not on women's celebration days?
First bolded: No. But I do wonder why we don't have a month for other races or nationalities. Like Asian Americans. Italian Americans. Native Americans. Middle Eastern Americans, etc. These people have also contributed to American society and have faced and continue to face difficulties.
Second Bolded: If we're discussing economically deprived countries, I understand. I was referring to celebration within priviledged nations, which I neglected to clarify, like the U.S. and Western European Nations with high standards of living.
And, to clarify I'm not objecting, I'm just asking why we do it, since many women in these 1st world nations want to be seen right in line with men and treated as men are treated. So, why have a day calling attention to the differences?
Just because we don't have months dedicated to other groups doesn't mean we shouldn't celebrate the achievements of the groups that choose to celebrate and organize festivities and awareness around their causes. I would love to see other group organize such awareness. I will say though, that I am a member of one of the ethnic groups you listed and our suffering (and I'm trying not to minimize it because I know it happened/happens) just doesn't compare to what African-Americans (slavery, segregation), Native Americans (killing and taking of land) and Asians (internment of Japanese) have suffered in this country. The deep-rooted discrimination, hatred and bias against those three groups in particular is one of the most shameful parts of our history and unfortunately it continues to this day. And with respect to women in developed countries, there are still obstacles to overcome. I realize you're not objecting to it just asking why we do it...and I would say why not? Why not celebrate the achievements of groups that have historically been undervalued and continue to be undervalued? Because it might call attention to our differences? I would say it celebrates our differences and our contributions.
This seems like a good place to drop this...
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/rebekah-kuschmider/im-tired-of-having-to-be-_b_2862545.html
I'm tired of being a feminist. No, that's not quite right. I'm tired of having to be a feminist.
The last few weeks have been a flurry of feminist outrages from Marissa Mayer bringing down the axe on telecommuting at Yahoo! to The Onion calling an Oscar-nominated nine-year-old the c-word for laughs. We're debating the value of Sheryl Sandberg's "Lean In" movement while the Arkansas legislature bans abortion after 12 weeks. We don't have fair pay and it took the House of Representatives an unseemly amount of time to reauthorize the Violence Against Women Act because politicking on issues regarding the health and safety of women is a sure-fire attention getter for media-hungry legislators.
All of which is to say that women are still being treated as a discrete group, a special interest lobby and an unpopular one at that. Women are still considered "other." Women are not citizens in the same way (white) (straight) men are citizens.
Why the hell is that the case?
I'm an American. I was born here, raised here, came into adulthood here. I vote and pay taxes and avail myself of such collective services as I need. There should be no daylight between anyone's attitude toward me and their attitude for my husband who fits the exact same profile.
But there is daylight. No one is urging men to lean in. No one is frolicking on stage singing about what body parts men have revealed on film. No one is debating the impact of telework on men. No one questions whether a man who is physically harmed should be able to access services in the aftermath. No one targets men in their attempts to police sexual acts. No one is legislating access to men's reproductive healthcare out of existence.
It's been almost 100 years since women got the right to vote. We are full citizens with all the rights and privileges thereof and yet we're still only valued at 77 cents on the dollar and we're regarded as a strident special interest. I. Am. Sick. Of. It.
I don't want to fight these fights any more. These fights should be finished by now. There should be no need for women to still be struggling for societal approval for going to work, having children, exercising sexual autonomy, seeking success, making art, receiving justice. We are citizens. Our motives do not need questioning. We are simply acting as Americans act.
Here's the deal: feminism and its goals are good for America. If it's good for women it is probably also good for men. The equal treatment of women -- and minorities, and gay people -- does not mean unequal treatment for straight, white men. Equal opportunity means EQUAL OPPORTUNITY. Once your grasp that simple concept, it makes every attempt to marginalize women or any other group seem unpatriotic.
We are not a land of equal opportunity. Not even close. We have institutional barriers to success for minority groups and women that are as deeply entrenched as an iceberg. And so I have to keep being a feminist, chipping away at the ice from the tip down because if I don't do it, it will be left for my daughter to do. That's not what I want for her. I want her to choose her issues based on passion, not self defense. I'll be a feminist so she can simply be an activist.
Because when you read a history book, 90% of it is about men. Men's achievements are the 'default' - it's automatically assumed that what men did was more important than what women did, and when a woman's achievement is mentioned, it's a 'special inclusion.'
Quick, how many female composers of classical music can you name? There are actually a ton of them, some of whom were extremely talented and wrote music that is on par with that of famous male composers. But it's something you hardly ever hear about, because they got so little recognition for their achievements both in their lifetimes and today. And this is true in SO many fields.
Until women's achievements are recognized on a daily basis and taken for granted the way men's achievements are, there is still a need for "special days" like this.
Thanks. I read it a couple nights ago and keep thinking about it. It really resonated.