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Different page than dh ... Sleep training
DS is a good sleeper. After we rock him to sleep. He sleeps all night ... About 12 hours... Sometimes without waking up and others with one wake and nursing. Lately he has been fighting sleep and it takes 45 mins to an hour to get him down. Tonight almost an hour and a half. I know it's our fault for always rocking him to sleep and holding him for naps. I think we are trying to make up for the time we could barely hold him in the nicu.
I want to fix this. I know it's not good for DS or us. Ill miss that cuddle time but I know he needs his sleep. Dh seems to think nothing is wrong and he will grow out of it. I know it won't work without dh being on the same page especially since he is a sahd right now and so he is around for all the naps. DS goes to daycare in a few weeks so he will have to learn to nap on his own there. But I don't want it to be a total shock to his system.
What do I do? How do I get dh to see the reality ahead of us if we don't fix this now???
Re: Different page than dh ... Sleep training
I have been blessed with 2 our of 3 non sleeping kids so I feel ya! At this age, I would probably still rock him but that's me, I am pro-CIO but not yet at his age. With daycare beginning soon, he will already be exposed to some change so why give him any more right now.
And ditto PP, as far as naps at daycare, let them handle it, they have super magic powers that get a class of kids to nap on the same schedule every day.
Jonathan Dean 4.5.08
Anna Capri 5.4.11
I say this totally understanding where you are coming from -- DS hates his crib, and is rapidly growing out of his RNP.
But really, I'm with your DH on this. First, sleep training will kill you both if you are not on the same page. Two, you won't be rocking the kid until he is six. Three, and I remind myself this daily, we DS1 I let him set the schedule and did what it took to get him to sleep, and he might be the easiest going toddler ever when it comes to sleep.
Let him lead the way, give him what he needs to sleep, and I really truly believe it creates healthier sleep habits in the long run.
Thanks everyone... DS is a SUPER easy going kid and like I said, when he goes to sleep he is down for the count. He basically set his own sleep schedule I just felt like I am doing him a disservice by rocking him and holding him all the time... despite the fact that I LOVE IT... unless it takes him an hour and a half to pass out for good!
maybe I'll hold off for a big. I don't want to fight with DH about this... but when I mentioned that I still rock him yesterday people gave me a look like I had five heads and I suddenly felt like a horrible mom! UGH This is why I don't tell anyone anything! when I mentioned I was still nursing him I got all the "oh god" looks too... oops worst mom ever over here!
He is still a baby in my eyes, not even one yeat, no reason why you shouldn't be doing these things still. Please do not let others judge your parenting decisions, you will drive yourself crazy! do what is best for you and your family
Jonathan Dean 4.5.08
Anna Capri 5.4.11
Yeah -- if the same people who are side eyeing you BFIng a kid under one as also side eyeing you rocking him to sleep, I would give them a big dose of WTF in return.
Those are two totally normal things for a baby that age!
Agreed! We rocked E to sleep until about 15 or 16 months. She naturally started asking to go in her crib on her own. We didn't push her. I know that's probably not normal. We were slow with pushing a lot of "growing up" type things when she was younger since she was a preemie. She was (and is) still catching up.
DS was two months early and I feel like people think I am "babying" him because of that. if you saw him now you'd never know, he's a chunk, but he is still just a baby and I don't think people get that their 9 month old isn't the same as my 9 month old... but then I also wonder if I am being too overprotective at times. I usually don't second guess myself but I have been with this. Thanks for the support guys!!!
I'm late to the party as usual.
Agree with Amynumbers.
We are still rocking at 16 months. And nursing when he wakes. Yep.
It's a personal choice. He's not going to need us to do these things forever. There will come a time very soon when he won't even sit still long enough to sit on my lap. I enjoy looking at him so peaceful in the middle of the night. Would I rather be sleeping? Sometimes. But he'll sleep again, and so will I.
I remember the nights when it took each of us a solid 45 minutes or more to get him down. Torturous at the time. But not forever...just like his baby/toddlerhood.