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trouble with husbands step mother

having a problem with my husbands step mother.  This is a long story and I will try to make it short.  My husbands parents divorced when he was 11.  His father soon left the area, making him feel very alienated and alone.  His father soon married and lived in another state only seeing him once a year or every other year.  My husband had and still does have a lot of resentment towards his father for leaving him.  I came into the family in 1992.  Off and on they would come and visit, as our boys got older it got harder.  His step mother is very opinionated and doesnt think twice about speaking her mind.  Hurting anyone in the process.  They come here in the summer for 2-3 weeks and stay with each family, there are 3 families here, us, and my husbands two other brothers.  They never take us out to dinner, offer to buy food or anything, freeload the whole time they are here.  As I get older I am finding it harder and harder to keep my tongue.  Last time they came in summer 2011 was the year before our oldest son was to graduate from high school.  At that visit they made it clear they would not be coming for our sons graduation, when they had made it to all the other grandkids graduations.  Our kids are the youngest of the grandkids.  This hurt us both deeply and also our son.  And another thing happened.  My husband was helping clean and detail their van while they were here, and his step mother didnt know my husband was in ear shot and she said, "well its the least he can do for all the years of christmas presents that have been sent".  With this after they left I told my husband and he has agreed they would not be staying at our home again.  We are so tired of being treated like crap in our own home.  Well this summer they are coming up for our nephews wedding in June.   And we have talked about them not staying with us, but my husband needs to tell them.  He hates confrontation, but I just don't know what to do.  Should I force him to have the tough conversation, and just deal with it.  I could go on and on of all the hurtful nasty things she has said to me and my kids.  I need advice on what to do, I know my husband wants to not have them stay with us but just frustrated and I want to get this out in the open now before June is upon on and we are asked which week they will be with us. 

 

Any ideas.  

Re: trouble with husbands step mother

  • Perhaps you shouldn't allow these people to stay with you any longer? 
  • Does it have to be a "tough conversation"?  Can't it just be "I'm sorry but we're unable to accommodate guests at this time".  They'll probably ask why - he just needs to stand firm on "The reasons aren't important.  We're simply unable

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  • imageEastCoastBride:

    Does it have to be a "tough conversation"?  Can't it just be "I'm sorry but we're unable to accommodate guest

  • imageManther1222:
    imageEastCoastBride:</
  • thank you everyone.  I talked to hubby tonight and he isn't worried about it.  his statement "I am a guy we dont think three months in advance about something"  ugh, lol.  He told me not to worry and he would take care of it.  And
  • You have put up with this mess for 21 entire years.

    Do not start Year Number 22 with these pigs in the picture: Give them the gate.
  • Er, well, there are plenty of men both historically and that I know who are capable of planning three months in advance, but I am glad you both are on the same page.
  • imagedpsloc:
    thank you everyone.  I talked to hubby tonight and he isn't worried about it.  his statement "I am a guy we dont
    image

    Chronically hilarious - you'll split your stitches!
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