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brother has become a dead beat dad
Hi everyone, i am seeking some serious advice to give to my sister in law, and i know that everyone's answer for her will be "leave him" and she is already starting to consider it, so here we go...
My niece, Adrianne was born May of last year, and from my knowledge of both sides, my brother does not help or take care of his daughter, his fiance, does everything and when he is asked to help he makes up an excuse, or says "why cant you do it?" and it has caused several fights between them, in which my sister in law says she wants to leave him and all he says is that he doesn't wanna breakup and become another statistic, and he is more concerned with what people will say and think, more then anything else, he spends maybe a few minutes with her, never takes charge for changing her, if she cries while they are sleeping he will get up and give her a bottle and go back to bed, He also raises his voice to her when she doesnt stop crying... this is a short glimpse of what my sister in law deals with, and has dealt with for the last year.. and she does not want to leave him only due to the fact of she keeps holding onto a hope he will change....which i really dont think will happen...i mean if it has not happened in the past year shes been around, why would it change?
I spoke to my sister in law last night and i felt like a beyond terrible sister for telling her to leave him..i love my big brother, hes my only sibling.. but he was not raised to act like this, i am very disappointed in him, but i care very much about my little niece and if he isn't going to be 100% Father figure, i think they should cut their losses and leave..
Any opinions or advice?
Re: brother has become a dead beat dad
Wellll.....to be honest, I think you've already crossed the line of 'minding your own business' and not getting involved, but really, I think this is something you should not be involved with at all. I realize it might be hard to avoid and I'm sur
Yea, I realize that it's a tough spot to be in, but still, it should not be your place to get involved because again, if you know what hits the fan, you are going to be blamed. It's kind of a lose lose situation, but if his FI is already feel
Yeah its super tough not to get involved and yes if *** does hit the fan the end result will suck... but i just dont think my brother cares anymore. if it doesnt benefit him, he doesnt care... My sister in law is hanging onto a hope that he chang
Ohhhh...I'm really sorry about your parents. I'm sure if they were around, they would maybe kick some sense into your brother, or in the very least, say something because it is really not right how he is acting.
Here's the thing though - your br
Thankyou, yeah i wish they were around, maybe its better that they arent, they would be ashamed of him if they seen the man he has became...or lack there of, it just angers me that he knew full well how much his life would change with a child, </p
What kind d of man was your brother before the baby? Had they discussed having children? Did your brother want a child?
I can't believe he was this wonderful responsable person and all of the sudden wasn't.
I think your sister in law ma
Anyone who tells you "not to get involved" doesn't understand that you love your family and want to help!
I would try to get your brother to attend parenting classes. Another way to approach the situation is to STOP trying to g
and ps - this is not about 'not loving your family'. I love my family to pieces. But there's just some things I will not involve myself in for my own sanity. I am there to listen, but beyond that....
OP even said herself that she's talked t
She needs to get rid of him, stat...and stick with raising O
she is his fiance, so technically she is not my sister in law, but i feel strongly about her as part of the family so yes i do refer to her as a sister in law.
Its just a shitty situation, that i will keep my nose out of...but it hurts badl
...Point her to these boards and maybe find 3-5 posts about 'husbands who never grew up and drain the life out of their spouses for years until eventually she leaves with years and energy wasted'. I'm sure you can find plenty! Maybe she would respond t
Believe me, i wanted "if you don't smarten up, and soon you are going to be left all by yourself" but something was just telling me not to say anything. And these "friends" which i wouldnt even call them that, friends dont down talk another persons sig
You know what then, maybe she really is better off. Not just her, but for the sake of their child too. If this is his attitude at this age, chances are, he's not going to change. There are some people who do, but that is very very rare.
Anyway, j