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Trust Issues, 3 months to the wedding and an indecisive groom

I have been having trust issues with my fiance since his ex sent me a photo from HIS email saying this is a photo I found in his email (which was of a naked girl) and it was sent from his phone! Ever since I had this feeling in the back of my head!! Of course I would who wouldn't!!

So with me being uneasy I have check his email and facebook. When checking his facebook he was writing a girl that we both ran into the bar with a couple of nights ago and he was telling her he thought she was sexy, etc. when I comforted him. he claimed  that he was only "being nice" to get some info from her bc she use to be roommates with his ex. (this wasn't the same girl in the photo!)

Since then I have came across another conversation with him and another girl on fb but nothing too detailed (as in cheating) but pretty sexual with him telling her to text him etc.

SO we went to counselling and the counsellor told me we need to set some guidlines in our relationship and he should know that I dont like him talking to women like that. and he need to prove to me that nothing is going on to gain my trust again.

Well since we have been there he has locked his phone and all his social media stuff away from me! not much of proving himself eh!

A couple of weeks ago i went on his new computer (Mac) and it showed his contacts bc he has an Iphone. I questioned him about some of the contacts and it didnt seem like he had a problem with it.

Now the last few days he has been saying he doesn't know if he can marry me bc I have trust issues and things will never get better! but he doesn't know what he wants to do!!

So I called once again for a counsellor and waiting on getting an appointment!! I am not sure what to do but I think its over!!

Re: Trust Issues, 3 months to the wedding and an indecisive groom

  • Your fiance is a terrible person.  I'm sorry this is happening to you, but there is nothing that is going to make him a good person.  You have a wonderful opportunity to walk away from someone who doesn't love or respect you- please take it.
  • Darlin' he isn't marriage material....call it off.  He's all over every skirt he sees.  His loss.  Not yours.
  • I was out to lunch on the naked pic. That could have been a pic of anybody anywhere....but I was NOT out to lunch on the rest.

    He has NO BUSINESS telling anybody else that she is "sexy."

    Where did you find this creep???

    He also has no
  • imageTarponMonoxide:
    I was out to lunch on the naked pic. That could have been a pic of anybody anywhere....but I was NOT out to lunch
  • You don't have trust issues, HE isn't trustworthy!! It's ridiculous for him to blame you for not trusting him when he's the one that's in the wrong.

     You don't want to marry someone who doesn't take responsibility for his own horrible behavi

  • Your counselor stinks on ice.

    It sounds like this fool glossed it over! Holy cow --- does she need the roof to fall in on her too???

    What is even more egregious is that even if his page is private, he is still on view loud and clear to those
  • thanks for the advice....now I pretty much have to tell my whole family etc that the wedding is off!! Was suppose to pick up my wedding dress this weekend too :s
  • imageAdeleJ84:
    thanks for the advice....now I pretty much have to tell my whole family etc that the wedding is off!! Was suppose to pick u
  • Cancelling a wedding and dealing with telling your family is hard. The alternative is worse: marrying a guy who disrespects you this much, will hurt you more, waste more of your time, and cost a lot in following through with the wedding THEN divorce.</

  • I'm so sorry this is happening, but I know you will be so much happier in the long run.  You deserve someone who is fully committed to you and doesn't dismiss your feelings, and I'm sure your family will be supportive of you.  Good luck!
  • I forgot to add when I asked him about the contacts on his computer he that it was old bc icloud didnt have updated info etc but his computer was only 2 months old! not like it changes the situation any but that was his excuse for it!
  • Good for you to go to a counselor... but this doesn't sound like he wants to change his behavior.  Get out before the wedding.
  • Your FI is full of sh!t.  Blaming you for not trusting him?  I'd laugh in his face, give him the ring back, and tell him to take a hike.  He's disgusting.  You think it's over?  Good!  Thank your lucky stars you leared wha

  • imageAdeleJ84:
    I forgot to add when I asked him about the contacts on his computer he that it was old bc icloud didnt have updated
  • imageanssett:

    Cancelling a wedding and dealing with telling your family is hard. The alternative is worse: marrying a guy who disrespec

    "Beer is living proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy."
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  • It's hard to call off a wedding. It's a lot of loss and sadness, but trust me (I have been there) that it will get better. There are LOTS of trustworthy men out there. I'd recommend some individual counseling for you so you can learn how to spot the good
  • You will be facing some really painful and sad realities in the coming months. However, after you find someone new down the road, the RIGHT guy, this will all be something you look back on and understand it was the best thing that happened to you.

  • I am trying to figure out WHY you WANT to marry him? 
  • I thought I would update you guys on what is going on! the wedding is off the accounts are now split just wanted on him to move out! thanks everyone for your support and my family was very understanding!

  • Yay! I hope that you have better luck in the future
  • Yeah, you don't want to marry someone that has secret relationships, sexual or not, with other women and he doesn't want to marry someone that goes through his phone, emails, facebook, computer looking for other women.

    Call off the wedding and ap

    image

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  • imageAdeleJ84:

    I thought I would update you guys on what is going on! the wedding is off the accounts are now split just wanted on him

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  • Hey I thought I would update everyone how I am doing. I am doing good everyday is a new challenge! My ex started dating this girl a month after we broke up and its a girl that he was messaging before we broke up! makes you think eh? anyways the next week or so is going to be hard bc the wedding was suppose to happen at the end of this month but I will survive!!
  • imageAdeleJ1984:
    Hey I thought I would update everyone how I am doing. I am doing good everyday is a new challenge! My ex started dating this girl a month after we broke up and its a girl that he was messaging before we broke up! makes you think eh? anyways the next week or so is going to be hard bc the wedding was suppose to happen at the end of this month but I will survive!!

     

    You will find a much more quality man and be thankful you didn't marry this bum. Are you in therapy? Take sometime to figure yourself out and the things you enjoy.  

  • I'm glad you didn't go through with it! It sounds like you are much better off. 

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