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Anyone ever feel this way?
I had no idea which board this was most applicable to, but here I go.
I was diagnosed with Clinical Depression and GAD in October 2011.
With this being said, the way I was then has been the norm for me ever since at least December 2007.
I find that sometimes its really hard for me to distinguish whether what I'm feeling is a product of what is going on in my friendships, family relationships, and romantic relationship and that its valid, or if its really just, for the lack of a better term, inside my head.
Before I get jumped with a barrage of 'you need therapy' comments, I have been in therapy, in several stages of my life. When I was the awkward child who had moved a bunch of times, that just didn't fit in. In high school, when I had issues with self esteem. And around the time that I was diagnosed. I was not unwilling to participate or change things, it just never clicked. I'm not a supporter of therapy any longer. I have been on a very long list of medications as well, and had been heavily medicated for four years with no progress I have been relatively medication free for a year.
So my question is for anyone who has ever had depression, in regards to how you managed the relationships in your life knowing that there's a force working against you.
Re: Anyone ever feel this way?
I think I know what you mean. Sometimes I'm unsure of how people feel about me and I read into everything people say or do like it's a reflection of how they feel about me. I've been dealing with depression for about 10 years and been through ups and downs with it. I was in therapy and also on a few medications. I also deal with anxiety, which is hard in regards to relationships. I definitely believe in therapy and believe that it can work for people. I don't believe it's for everyone. But I think sometimes you just need to find the right therapist for you. I absolutely don't believe in anti-depressants or anti-anxiety pills. I feel that it's like a bandaid on a larger problem. Honestly, if you don't choose to be medicated or even go to therapy, it's going to be tough and you'll have to accept that. It's an everyday battle. Regarding relationships, I just try to trust the people that I know I can trust(my husband, mom, best friends) and remind myself that these people love me despite what I might tell myself.
Every day is a struggle with mental illness though. You have to make the effort to tell yourself all the time that these people love and care about you. I try to take solace in the little things, like when my best friend comes to me first about something. I go to my husband when I'm feeling really insecure.. find someone who you can trust and go to when you are really mindscrewing yourself to set you straight. Someone that can talk some sense into you. Trust their word and try to make it into your own. I definitely believe that we can fight against depression and anxiety if we try hard enough every day. Some days are worse than others but if you keep the positivity flowing, it really does start to help and change your way of thinking. It's a long road, but worth it. Good luck and take care of yourself.
This has to be the best, sensible advice I have ever seen on this board.
Bravo.
I'm going to strongly disagree with the previous posters. My family has a history of depression (my maternal grandfather, my mother) and I am convinced it's medically caused, at least in our cases. I'm on prozac and if I go off of it after a few weeks I feel like I have PMS all the time - extremely irritable and crabby.
Several years ago when I went through a divorce I found therapy extremely helpful - I think because my therapist taught me to recognize when I was personalizing or overgeneralizing in a negative way in my head, and strategies for fighting against that way of thinking. Everyone's situation is different, and you need to find what works for you.
My Dx is Bipolar Disorder and GAD. Therapy and medications have changed my life. It's the combination, not just one or the other. Finding the right medications can be challenging and very trying. I went through 4 therapists before I found one that I actually clicked with.
As far as relationships go, it can be hard. There have been times in my life where every single relationship (family, friends, SO) has been in shambles because I just couldn't get things right. It took me finding a man who understood that it's ok to be frustrated when I am riding the roller coaster, to have a happy, healthy relationship. He understand that sometimes he just needs to walk away, and that just because I am medicated doesn't mean that I am not allowed to have an off day.
My close friends are all friends that I have had for years. Child hood friends. We are all really close, and they'll tell you "That's just how she is." They love me anyway.
I come from a family where most of the women have some sort of mental illness. For example, my mother is bipolar, my grandmother suffers from clinical depression. Our biggest problem is when we are all cycling at the same time. Welcome to a world of chaos!
Well if you don't believe in medication and won't go to talk therapy, what exactly are the steps you are taking to help yourself work on/through this depression?
I have to say that if you even have ONE bad experience with a therapist, it can really skew what you think about therapy. Have you tried several different ones to find one that you can click with? I think you could benefit from talk therapy to determine WHY you are feeling the feelings you are feeling. Talk therapy has helped me identify the source of my feelings.
I've been to LOTS of therapists, lots of types of therapy. Some don't work AT ALL for me. The type I really need is someone to provide outside perspective to situations, and help me take action from it, as well as teach me coping tools to function better in my life.
I'm bipolar and without both meds and therapy I'm not someone you want to be close to. I'm exhaustingly and dangerously moody to myself and everyone around me. Because I don't want my brain chemistry and my diagnosis to rule my life I work really hard to build those coping skills so I can be the most awesome Ansett possible. I don't know how else you do it? If I don't take the edge off the symptoms with meds I can't constructively work on the underlying patterns.
I've got the same diagnosis and have for more than a decade.
I know this isn't what you want to hear but try therapy again. It took me 15 years and almost as many therapists but when I found one who really "got" me, it did work and changed my entire life. I'm now med free for years and doing fine.
First let me say that I am currently in school to be a counselor and second I have suffered from some mental issues in the past.
I will tell you what worked for me and you can do this it as you like. I was on meds for a while and it was depressing to think that I would have to be for the rest of my life. So, with the support of my husband, I stopped taking them and started taking a multivitamin everyday after I eat lunch. The timing is important b/c I had not known that in the past and wondered what the point of taking vitamins was if they weren't doing anything. I also took a Positive Psychology class and a health class that really resonated with me. It seems that a lot of people were not taught how to cope with the daily stressors in life and the modern solution is a 'magic' pill. In all honesty, life is hard. We have so many things coming at us at once that we need to take time for ourselves. Not enough people seem to realize that we all need to work on ourselves before we can conquer all the other things that demand our attention. Once you are rooted in who you are and how you want your life to be then you can live a good life.
Here is a more concise list of things that helped me:
Writing down the thoughts and feeling that are bothering you.
Think of 3 things everyday that you are thankful for.
Take Vitamins with extra B12 if you need more energy.
Take stock of what you are good at and how that can help you
Understand that we are all Works In Progress
Do good things for others and you will feel great (Random Acts of Kindness)
Meditation or Yoga (10-20 mins of ME time a day)
Make short term goals
Therapy is a tool to teach you coping skills and to understand who you are. If you try to do even one of the things on the list above to help yourself I am sure you will feel good about it. And even if you start and then stop just remember it is all for you and you can always start again. A strong support system can be invaluable.
Only stop taking medications with a Doctor's oversight as it can cause terrible side effects. And if none of the things above help, possibly talk to your doctor about the new ECT treatments that they have been making progress with.
I hope some of this helps you in some way or another. I am not a licensed therapist but I desire to help people in a natural and safe way. Good Luck
#1: I do do this on a rather regular basis, good idea! :]
#2 + #3: Two things everyone should understand in my mind!
#4: This. I've been on many a medications, and I was very luck that when I abruptly stopped them, I had very minimal to no side effects.
I've had depression for a while and as you know it can affect a lot of things...for me that included school, relationships with family and significant others, and so on. There were a lot of times I didn't treat myself well.
It really helps to surround yourself with positive people that will give you that support system. Try your best to love yourself and do what you need to do to make yourself happy.
I was diagnosed with situational depression about 2 years ago. It was really difficult trying to keep happy relationships when I wasn't even comfortable in my own skin. So i get where you're coming from.
How i got out, and most people freak out when they hear this, is I found God. Hear me out.. Depression is not only just a little crappy day here and there, it is a controlling part of your mind that consumes every ounce of energy you've got in your body until there is nothing left. Thats not a little problem that some medicine and a friend to talk to can help. No, thats a black hole. Literally the only thing that can save you from the depths of your own mind is God, and no matter how unbelievable that seems, its the truth.
The hardest thing to escape is the thought of hopelessness, and God is hopeful. Its almost impossible to get away from the things going on in your mind, but it's nice to have a little vacation spot with God.
Now I probably weirded you out just a little past crazy, and if we're being honest, an average person would have stopped reading the moment I mentioned God... because they think of the men in the fancy dresses showing up at their door every two weeks. But when it comes to being rescued, you'll actually figure out that everything you wanted to help you escape from is right in front of you.
Given, your depression is a little more extreme than mine, and my faith is a little more extreme than most, but I'm actually a mostly normal girl with a best friend that most people don't even believe in. I have 100% faith in the fact that you can escape whatever disorders the doctors diagnose you with, because if you look at real records, people do. every. day. Your relationships are not at stake with anyone who actually cares about you, especially once you're healed
I hope this didn't make you feel subjected to anything, and I hope it addressed the issue at hand at least a little bit!!!! 