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What in the world changed me?
Boyfriend and I have hit a bump in the road, one I made. We've been together for 2 years now and other than the occasional spat we've been good. But my communication suddenly took a nose dive, I'm not sure why but I'm closed/have closed up. Sometimes I'll open up again but won't do much else beyond going in circles then being confused as to why I feel what I do. I used to blame him because he suddenly became extremely short-tempered with me and would call me annoying or ridiculous, or that I'm selfish and never think of his happiness. I know think that I actually was, I disagree that I've never considered his happiness. But it's not right to blame him when the only one who can control my thoughts and feelings is myself. It's my own little security issues. After past incidents involving those "just a friend" women and my ex's, along with what some of my friends went through, I have no reason to trust women with my boyfriend. I'm aware all blame goes to both the men and women but, I have no reason to trust women and they worry me when they get 1 on 1 with my boyfriend. Even when I was "friends" with the woman, she'd pull a "oh she'll be ok with it because we're friends!", one of them couldn't even understand why I was so distraught because we were "friends", so why wouldn't it be ok? Guess who suddenly got a new female friend, and despite knowing my comfort being at zero, hung out with her alone at the gym. It's pathetic and sad that something like that sent me into anxiety and he tried to help me by texting the whole time, that's when I felt like such a burden to him, couldn't even enjoy the gym because his girlfriend's a puddle of insecurity. I trust him, I just don't trust her. I know if someone's going to hurt me, they will and nothing I can do will change that. I think it was here we started to fall really. I talked to him the next day about how I had a bad reaction, and I need help and his help and I'll try to fix my problems. He got angry, annoyed, frustrated, understandably so, but lashed out at me and how I can't think the worst in people. I almost felt afraid to open up to him anymore, I was so down and it felt as if he kicked me with his response. I will admit, now I worry to say anything. What if he gets mad? What if he gets annoyed? Is it as worth saying as I think it is? What if it really doesn't matter? I resent this about me. Now he's upset at me for having sort of become a clam, still upset that I got anxious over him hanging out with another woman and that makes me moody and mostly angry with myself but just unpleasant nonetheless. This incident was a month ago and no, we do not bring it up or hang onto it but I know it was never really resolved and so it sort of hangs around. We're both stressed out present day because he will be joining the service within a few months, and we were looking into getting married before then, but honestly when I am like this and just so, confused, it wouldn't be fair to him at all. I love him, I love myself too but I have no idea what to do on my own. Maybe strangers can help me, I can't even enjoy spring redecoration right now, I'm filled with how to fix this all and how unhappy he is.
My insecurities and lack of communication will single-handedly destroy this, otherwise, wonderful relationship with the man I love. I just need something stronger to help me, advice, words or something else besides meditation.
Re: What in the world changed me?
I am 26 and he is 25. Probably old enough to not be having a bump like this.
It's possible you guys are right. Maybe these things were here and this just made me stop being blind to them, but honestly before that insecurity issue we were wond
"I used to blame him because he suddenly became extremely short-tempered with me and would call me annoying or ridiculous, or that I'm selfish and never think of his happiness...But it's not right to blame him when the only one who can control my thoug
"You know you're in love when you don't want to fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams." - Dr. SeussThere are absolutely times when it is ok to be upset with someone for placing themselves in a bad situation. But it all depends on how that situation came about, and how your BF reacted to it. There are people who just love getting attention from the o
I think your gut is trying to tell you something. Please be honest with yourself here: is this really all the fault of other women out to steal your boyfriend, and he is a completely innocent party who through no fault of his own just happens to
Hi Sweetie, I understand where you are coming from. I don't think you need therapy. I would feel the same way if that was happening to me. This is definitely a communication issue. If you love him and he loves you and you both want to try to make it wo
Although I appreciate that Diggin is giving another perspective to consider, I think that there are many reasons that you should just end this relationship.
Chronically hilarious - you'll split your stitches!
I wrote a book! Bucket list CHECK!
http://notesfortheirtherapist.blogspot.co.uk