Relationships
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Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Husband issues
So I have been married for four years and have had the same issues the entire time. My husband refuses to get a better job. When we met in 2006 I was a student in college and working full time as well. In 2008 I graduated and in 2009 we had our first son. We bought our first home the same year our son was born from his parents and it was a disaster. It needed new plumbing, new walls, new wiring, had no heat, and was awful. My husband refused to fix it so our son was safe, so I left in 2010. In January of 2011 I agreed to try again even though I had filed for divorce because my husband swore he would get a better job that could support our family and he sold that house back to his parents. In 2012 we had our second son and bought another home. This house is in the same shape and was also owned by his family. He still works 2-3 days per week, making minimum wage and won't listen to me that he needs to be working where he has a full time schedule and somewhere that offers benefits. He also refuses to fix this house and I'm worried about our boys. I don't want to leave again and cause my two sons mental distress but I can't get him to see that I shouldn't be working 55-60 hours a week while he works 20. Am I wrong to want him to find a better job? I don't know what to do. He tells me all the time that I just don't understand and he shouldn't have to work harder. I work to care for my sons, one of which has a medical condition and has to have insurance, and to pay his $400 a month car payment. I'm sick of it and don't know what else to do but leave. Any suggestions?
Re: Husband issues
Does your H only work part time because he stays at home with the kids? If not, I don't mean to sound negative, but from the situation you described, it doesn't seem as though providing for his family is high on your husband's list of prior
Honestly I would consider this abandonment, maybe not physically but he is not caring for you financially. I am not saying he has to make more then you or work 60 hours a week, but he is not providing meeting the basic financial needs of your family. H
Baby Boy loved for 15 weeks, 5/31/11
Baby Girl loved for 16.5 weeks. 3/1/12
I'm a little confused here. After the situation with your first house turned out to be such a disaster, why did you then by a second house in really bad condition from his family?
I agree with doglove- can you provide a little more detail a
~Benjamin Franklin
DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10
Baby Boy loved for 15 weeks, 5/31/11
Baby Girl loved for 16.5 weeks. 3/1/12
TTC since September 2012
He works 20 hours a week, has no desire to work more, doesn't take care of HIS children, and knows your unhappy but doesn't care.
Why exactly do you want to stay with him? And before you say "for our sons" - think about that a little more.&
~Benjamin Franklin
DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10
~Benjamin Franklin
DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10
I agree, and I think that it's horrible that he has threatened that. I think what he is really afraid of is not you leaving, not his sons leaving, but the gravy train he is riding leaving.
You are the primary breadwinner. And he doesn't have to
Chronically hilarious - you'll split your stitches!
I wrote a book! Bucket list CHECK!
http://notesfortheirtherapist.blogspot.co.uk
No, he never went to school. I received my bachelors December of 2008. I also earned my Insurance licensing for all lines in 2011. I did that to make sure that I always have a back up. His reasoning for not finding a better job is so he can start schoo
I'm sorry you're going through this, and I understand how you hope and hope that things will be different, and end up putting up with crap you never would have imagined putting up with.
It sounds like its more than time to stop putting up w
you actually need counseling for your dependency on this man.
This is a type of abandonment and yes Id leave now. You are putting your children in danger financially and the fact you are afraid to leave your sons alone with him says it all. get o
cut out the financial support. he is an adult. you are very dependent on him or lack self confidence, None are shameful just get some help!
Counseling would be a good consideration both for you and for the two of you whether you proceed to divorc