Family Matters
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mother in law

my mother in law planned a week vacation for them, us and our son and my husbands brother and sister and families. basically we'd have 13 people in one house for a week. my mom recently passed away from cancer and i realized the first day of the vacation s inbetween my parents anniversary and fathers day and i dont want to leave my dad that weekend so my husband told her we wouldnt be there until monday and her first response was "but we already had this planned" i no longer want to go on this trip bece of her lack ofconsideration but my husband would  go with our 1 year old to please her. what should i do stand up to her ( theres many other things shes done) or go to try spend time with my son.

Re: mother in law

  • I would send H and the kid and spend some one on one time with my Dad. 

    Your MIL sounds like a peach.... Ugh.

    I am so sorry for your loss. 

  • Oh and you have an H problem with him trying to please her over you. So take the time alone and reflect on that.
  • imageMLE2010:
    Oh and you have an H problem with him trying to please her over you. So take the time alone and reflect on that.
    </B
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  • imageNurseRobinson:

    imageMLE2010:</st
    "Beer is living proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy."
    ~Benjamin Franklin

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  • maybe it's because I don't hate my future mother i law but i think you should go. I know it sounds insensitive but she did confirmed plans with you. So it's not like she sprung this at the very last minute. And it's at the very beginning of the trip as we
  • imagebuttercup1958:
    maybe it's because I don't hate my future mother i law but i think you should go. I know it sounds insensitive but
  • imageMLE2010:

    imagebuttercup1958:</st
    "Beer is living proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy."
    ~Benjamin Franklin

    Lilypie Third Birthday tickers
    DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10

  • I have to add - this is similar to me as families who rotate holidays.  One year w/ the wife's family, the next w/ DH's family, etc.  But - sometimes that schedule can get thrown for a loop when there is a death in the family, or perhaps ther

    "Beer is living proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy."
    ~Benjamin Franklin

    Lilypie Third Birthday tickers
    DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10

  • I am' sorry to hear of your loss. Your MIL is an inconsiderate cold _itch.

    I 'd like to say to her-

     Oh I am sorry MIL...My mom should have planned her death for a better time to suit your needs.

    GRRRR!!!

  • I said she should go. Maybe I should have been more clear when she should go. She said that they could come monday but now that her mother in law is a little upset she doesn't want to go. I think it would be the mature and honestly the better option to be
  • imagebuttercup1958:
    I said she should go. Maybe I should have been more clear when she should go. She said that they could come monday but
    "Beer is living proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy."
    ~Benjamin Franklin

    Lilypie Third Birthday tickers
    DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10

  • How in hell did she wheel and deal to get to plan a vacation at your home, let alone one for a baker's dozen of people???

    This in itself = MADNESS.

    What I think your H and you should do:

    Sit down with her and tell  her that you c
  • imageTarponMonoxide:
    How in hell did she wheel and deal to get to plan a vacation at your home, let alone one for a baker's dozen of peopl
    "Beer is living proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy."
    ~Benjamin Franklin

    Lilypie Third Birthday tickers
    DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10

  • imageEastCoastBride:
    imageTarponMonox
  • its  not that i want to be rude and not go but she has done so many frustrating things that my husband makes excuses for her and i don't feel up to a week with her. recently i told her i didn't want my son to have a cup cake and She gave him it anywa
  • imagepobie84:
    its  not that i want to be rude and not go but she has done so many frustrating things that my husband makes
    "Beer is living proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy."
    ~Benjamin Franklin

    Lilypie Third Birthday tickers
    DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10

  • imageEastCoastBride:

    imagepobie84:
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  • I think you are projecting some of your issues about your mother passing onto your mother in law. Her not strapping your child into the high chair and your child falling out sucks, yes. However, you should not be tying it to "the day you put your mothe

    image

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  • I'm not saying i dont appreciate her watching him, but when you entrust the care of your child on someone else you would expect them to do what you would do. and i know accidents do happen- but this was ignorance an accident would have been if the stra

  • imagepobie84:

    I'm not saying i dont appreciate her watching him, but when you entrust the care of your child on someone else you would

    image

    Chronically hilarious - you'll split your stitches!
    I wrote a book! Bucket list CHECK!
  • OP I am so sorry for your loss. I would also be angry if someone were watching my LO and using an old car seat or didn't strap her into the high chair.

    My father passed away in O

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