May 2012 Weddings
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WWYD?

So I, along with several other people, are planning a bridal shower for one of my good friends who is getting married next month.  IN HAWAII!!  It's our first destination wedding, and we are so so excited for vacation!

 Back to the shower - I'd say that I'm probably the one most "in charge" of planning, and what I really mean by that is that I'm the one who has spent most of the money.  So far I've already spent about $65 for half the rental of the venue and about $55 for all the invites between ordering them and mailing them out.  As far as costs go I still have to make some appetizers, so this won't be a huge expense but still an expense nonetheless.  I'm already in the hole $120 for the shower not even including what I'll spend on food.  And not to mention the cost of going to Hawaii - I mean it's a vacation spot I'd visit anyways, so I'm just kind of writing the cost of the entire trip as what we'd spend on a vacation elsewhere, but still...we ARE going to Hawaii at her invitation/request.  After the wedding in Hawaii, she is planning a reception (I know, totally not the right term etiquette wise, but bear with me here...) back here a few weeks after the wedding.

My questions -

1.) Am I a total jerk for thinking about not buying her a physical shower gift?  Like, considering my contributions, monetary and time spent, towards the shower a gift in themselves?  Would a small gift be highlighting the fact that I didn't spend much money on her shower gift?

2.) Do you bring a gift to a destination wedding?  I assume if we do anything it would be money in Hawaii.  Or do we wait until the "reception"?

I guess I've never planned a shower before or been to a destination wedding so I'm at a bit of a loss.  Just wondering what all your thoughts are on the situation.  Honestly I'll probably end up buying something small to bring to the shower, but at the same time I don't want feel embarrassed when she opens my gift and there's just not much to it! 

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Re: WWYD?

  • 1. Do I think you are a total jerk for not buying her a shower gift, no. Throwing the shower is a gift. The bride isn't entitled to a shower and you are gifting one to her so that in it's self is enough of a gift. If you felt the need to actu

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  • imagespalko:

    1. Do I think you are a total jerk for not buying her a shower gift, no. Throwing the shower is a gift. The bride&nbs

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  • I agree with Spalko that you only need to do one wedding gift whether it's in HI or at the home reception. 

    As far as the shower I would do something small or sentimental. Maybe you could go in with the other girls planning the shower on a b

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  • imagebpphoto785:

    I agree with Spalko that you only need to do one wedding gift whether it's in HI or at the home reception. 

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  • I would say if you do a gift do it at the reception. My reasons are A you have to tote it there and then they have to tote it back. And B at a local wedding the gift is brought to the reception and not the ceremony. 

    I do agree that the show

  • I stood up in a wedding in Jamaica and it was a very similar situation to yours in December.

    I didn't throw the shower, but threw the bachlorette party. So money for food, decorations, hotel, drinks ect.

    So what I did:

    1. Becaus

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  • Mona8Mona8 member
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    imagebpphoto785:

    I agree with Spalko that you only need to do one wedding gift whether it's in HI or at the home reception.&

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  • I haven't read through the replies yet, and I am not the BEST for asking etiquette questions, but here's how I see it  to give you some more perspective

    1. Are you a jerk for not getting a shower gift:
    No. Hosting the Shower is a g

  • Thanks for the advice ladies =]  
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