Married Life
jessica490
member
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Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
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Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
For married couples without kids....
in Married Life
How often do you hang out with other couples? You can give any details if you would like.
And would you get upset if you can't seem to get together with another couple due to them always being busy
Re: For married couples without kids....
Now that most of our inner circle is married, some with kids, some without, we just kind of make plans whenever we are not busy with other stuff going on. Sometimes it's a challenge because of work schedules or home projects or other events, but I would say maybe once a month we try to lock in a solid date for something. But even that changes too - it's hard when everyone has their own things going on....I don't really get upset because that's just how it goes. We all keep in touch regularly, so that's enough even when we are too busy to physically meet up.
Before we had kids, we were usually pretty busy w/ friends. Not just couples - but all our friends.
Would I be upset if I can't ever get together w/ somoene? It would depend on the "why".
~Benjamin Franklin
DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10
MH and I don't have any married friends. My best friend who has one child and divorced doesn't want to have anything to do with me since I got married. It actually started during the wedding planning. So to answer your question, yes I get mad that I can't spend time with her because she claims her daughter and her job are taking up every single minute of her free time. I may sound like a brat, but it's funny how with that same daughter and job, we went out every weekend before I got engaged and now married.
/vent
TTC since September 2012
we have a "best friend couple" that we see 2-3 times a month minimum. Then we have a wide array of special interest friends, mostly through clubs (beer club, slow food club, church, blogging club, motorcycle club, running club, bicycling club . . . you probably get the idea).
would I get mad if they didn't want to hang with us? I guess it depends on if it was a regular blow off or if there are legitimate reasons.
Yeah, we don't have kids, and we're generally pretty social with friends, but I dislike the idea of "couple friends." Anyway, I will admit that I was bummed and a little irked when a close friend started having kids, because I knew that it would make him busier and less able to get together (which it did). Mostly I try to befriend other people who don't want kids, but not everything is planned, like the previous friend changing his mind. It's a bummer.
We have 3 different sets of couples that we hang out with on a regular basis. Sometimes we hang out altogether, and sometimes it is separate. 2 out of the 3 are married, and 2 out of the 3 are pregnant. We are not pregnant, so we have been hanging out with the other non-pregnant couple a lot more lately just because we don't have similar interests as the others at this time. Probably once every other week we hang out, but we chat inbetween there.
We don't get upset if we can't seem to get together with the other couples, but we no longer share common interests with the 2 couples who are pregnant. We want to travel, finish remodeling our home, and pay off debt. They don't want to chat about those same things right now, and we don't want to talk about whether breastfeeding is better than formula, so we have grown apart some.
TTC since 1/13 DX:PCOS 5/13 (long, anovulatory cycles)
Clomid 50mg 9/13 = BFP! EDD 6/7/14 M/C 5w6d Found 11/4/13
1/14 PCOS / Gluten Free Diet to hopefully regulate my system.
Chemical Pregnancy 03/14
Surprise BFP 6/14, Beta #1: 126 Beta #2: 340 Stick baby, stick! EDD 2/17/15
Riley Elaine born 2/16/15
TTC 2.0 6/15
Chemical Pregnancy 9/15
Chemical Pregnancy 6/16
BFP 9/16 EDD 6/3/17
Beta #1: 145 Beta #2: 376 Beta #3: 2,225 Beta #4: 4,548
www.5yearstonever.blogspot.com
**6.30.12** I have found the one whom my soul loves.
Basically never, we're not interested in hanging out with other couples. Our jobs take us to live immersed in literally crowds of individuals, many of them are also our friends so we get to work and enjoy great company in one single exciting way. We do have the occasional impromptu get-together with either a friend of mine or a friend of my H's every now and then, but otherwise we love to do everything just the two of us. We rock at being just the two of us alone.
To answer your question, no I wouldn't be upset but, like I said, I wouldn't be in the situation to even mind it. With the few close friends who have kids I know I just have to be patient and eventually the right time to finally meet up will come. Phone calls is all we have until then
Before kids we had a monthly date with another couple. Then we both had kids within 6 weeks of one another. Now it's every few months.
No, I don't get upset when people are too busy to get together. People all have lives and go through months or years where they are really busy and times when they aren't. It all ebbs and flows.
We saw our group of friends really change when we got married. Right around the time we got engaged, all of our friends went into major life changes and I think we all just grew apart. It bothered us for a while but we ended up growing into a different group. They were people we have always known but now we all have the same interests. The thing that IS hurtful is how the old group occasionally posts things about how they all suddenly had time to get together... And no one invited us. We are the only married ones in that group so I don't know if that's it but it is a bit hurtful. But we just accepted it and hang out with our new group now.
We used to hang out with this one couple all the time, and even though they were 15+ years older than us, they acted like they were 21 in every aspect of their life. They went out late, on weekends and during the week, and couldn't settle for just getting a drink together. It just HAD to become a bar crawl every time. When we began declining their invitations because we both outgrew that stage of life, they became VERY mad. They tease us all the time saying that we are supposed to be the young ones and have even started argue,ents with us because we did not want to party with them. So as you see, it can be okay to be a bit hurt when someone declines a chance to hang out but if it happens a lot, maybe you need to see if YOU are the issue.
H is 28 and I'm 24; we are currently the only married couple out of our friends (one couple divorced the rest never married).
Most of our friends are in serious, committed relationships. However, all of those relationships are within the 2 year mark and most are just under 1 year. While we have plans with these couples frequently enough to maintain relationships, it's on average every couple of months we see each couple.
We're definitely in different places in our lives though: we own a home that takes frequent work, we're thinking about children and career advancement, and nice dinners out at unique restaurants. Our friends are still going to bars and doing all of the activities they were doing in college.
Regarding feeling upset if friends are too busy to make plans: I would be miffed if it began feeling like we were being blown off (no reciprocation on an available date, explanation, etc.) but if they're clearly busy (med school? law school? children? work?), no I would not be upset.