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ILs cause constant money drama
My ILs suck with money. Everyone in the family has poor monetary priorities. I broke my H of this within the first years of our relationship and he is now much more responsible. The rest of his family buys what they want, and then have zero money for what they need. MIL is known for demanding money from my two BILs who still live at home, saying they "owe her" because they eat her food (they are 21 and 17).
So we had a problem where BILs were coming over on a weekly basis to hang out but ended up eating our food. We found out we were becoming a "hang out" and a free meal. So we told them that they either need to feed themselves before coming over, or if we order something they must pitch in.
Today I received a text from SIL. She is pregnant and due to find out the sex of the baby next month. She asked me if I would help her plan a very small get together with the family to serve as a gender reveal. I happily agreed.... But then she told me we all have to pitch in to pay for pizza and drinks. She and her H are really hard up for money and are trying to save for the baby.
I'm torn. I feel like thats a bit rude to ask us to pay for her reveal party. But then again, we always make BILs pay when they come over, and hate when MIL/FIL don't pitch in. I also feel bad that SIL is struggling financially. H says no way are we paying to come to her gender reveal, but I would feel like a jerk if we refused to.
What do you think?
Re: ILs cause constant money drama
my first thought is that I'd dp whatever I could to support the 17 year old BIL who is a minor and should not be required to pay for his own food.
second of all i would not participate in a party I am required to pay. I would tell her you will he
Disclaimer: I'm incredibly unsympathetic regarding most bad financial situations. The exception is when sh!t really does just happen and it's nobody's fault. I'm talking random acts of God, unforeseen medical emergencies, and the like. &nbs
On the gender reveal - would you be willing to perhaps throw her a shower when she's a little further along? And then suggest to reveal at the shower? It still puts the expense on you, but at least it's not tacky! Just a thought. 
~Benjamin Franklin
DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10
The 21 year old should be paying rent to continue to live at home. The 17 year old should still be in school and not paying for his food.
As for SIL - a Reveal Party --- Really? Offer to give her a small shower at a much later da
I don't see a problem with throwing her a baby shower. Typically the host of a shower pays for everything and it's to help the newly wed/newly expecting parents get a head start.
Now, a reveal party. I don't know what that is. If she's having t
Let me clarify a few things:
This is not a "party." This was not my idea. I did not offer to "throw" this for her. She decided that she would like to surprise her parents with the announcement of her baby's gender. My ILs are not aware of when he
O.k. With the party.... I'm rolling my eyes hard, at HER. What she wants to do is fine in my book as far as having immediate family over and wanting to surprise her parents. That's all well and good.
But yeah -I get whe
~Benjamin Franklin
DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10
@MrNibbles
It would all be based on the context to how she is going about the dinner part of the party. Since she is keeping the gender reveal a secret, if she is just treating it like a family get together where everyone comes over for dinner and everyone
TTC since 1/13 DX:PCOS 5/13 (long, anovulatory cycles)
Clomid 50mg 9/13 = BFP! EDD 6/7/14 M/C 5w6d Found 11/4/13
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Riley Elaine born 2/16/15
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Honestly, I have no I idea how much she wants from us. She didn't specify who was also "chipping in" and how much. I did tell DH right away and he said we will absolutely not pay. He said "if she can't afford $40 for pizza and drinks then how is she go
~Benjamin Franklin
DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10
BIL just informed me he and his gf just adopted a dog. It has to live at her parents house with her because ILs are not allowed to have dogs where they are. I'm so done with him. His finances are not my problem, they are his, but if he ever tells me he
I am seriously not comprehending this. For $10, she could have homemade pizza, a cake, lemonade, maybe even a salad.
I'm amazed at the idea of "I want to have a party, you'll need to give me money for it."
~Benjamin Franklin
DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10
I'm not "too good" for them. We do everything with them. But when all of them say they are too broke to afford stuff like this and ask for handouts, then go out and buy things they do not need at all, it makes me really resent having to "pitch in" all