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Repost: Fiance Refuses to Lose Weight and Is Passive Aggressive
Hi,
I'm new here and I am looking for advice. When my fiance and I met, he was actively losing weight, had an interesting personality and we did so many fun things. We moved in together, got engaged and soon after I got pregnant. That's when things changed. He was no longer interested in saving money, and we have had tons of arguments about his inability to budget. I finally tried to take over paying bills and such, but it only brewed resentment and he'd find ways of sabotaging my efforts (racking up bills and tickets and not telling me, etc.). He picked up weight during my pregnancy, and after I had our little one, I decided to try to get back to the size I was. He has stopped working out completely and has instead gained about 70 pounds. He is now morbidly obese. He now has high blood pressure and a host of health problems and it has adversely affected our sex life. I've offered to take walks and work out with him, but he always comes up with an excuse. He only wants to stay home and play on the computer and we no longer go out. He doesn't have many friends, and I try to encourage him to go out and meet new people but he doesn't want to.
We even met a nice older couple at his job who offered to watch the baby so that we could have date nights, but he has not tried reaching out to them, even though I have asked him to do so. He no longer cleans, he doesn't care about his appearance, and when we are at home we ignore each other and go about our separate ways. I will be graduating from grad school and have some lucrative job offers, a new body, new friends and I am so excited about this new phase in my life, but I almost feel as if he's holding me back.
I've tried to talk to him and asked him what's wrong, but he will only shrug and say "I don't know." We've tried couples counseling but he won't do any of the things the counselor suggests, and feels that now that he has someone he doesn't have to "do things anymore." He tells me he doesn't want individual counseling because they will only tell him that he shouldn't be with me. I can't take this anymore. I'm thinking of calling off our wedding and accepting a job with extremely nice pay out of state, but I don't want to because of our little one. But everyone thinks I'd be passing over an opportunity of a lifetime and I just don't know what to do.
Re: Repost: Fiance Refuses to Lose Weight and Is Passive Aggressive
Sounds like you're better off on your own...especially landing a great job in this economy.
Your FI has to want to change for himself...no amount of you trying to convince him will change his mind. If you leave, it might be a motivator to get him
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He could have a body to kill for at this point but the fact that he can't save money is the dealbreaker. Never mind his weight.
Money is the Number One Thing couples will argue over. He is what he is right now. If he c
It sounds like you just plain don't like this guy and want someone to tell you that it's okay to dump him.
It's okay to dump him. Really, it is.
Is he maybe depressed? My H did this when we were dating, and I almost left. It wasn't until we took a weekend away from the stressors of everyday life, that he realized what was going on and that he needed to do something about it.
I woul
TTC since 1/13 DX:PCOS 5/13 (long, anovulatory cycles)
Clomid 50mg 9/13 = BFP! EDD 6/7/14 M/C 5w6d Found 11/4/13
1/14 PCOS / Gluten Free Diet to hopefully regulate my system.
Chemical Pregnancy 03/14
Surprise BFP 6/14, Beta #1: 126 Beta #2: 340 Stick baby, stick! EDD 2/17/15
Riley Elaine born 2/16/15
TTC 2.0 6/15
Chemical Pregnancy 9/15
Chemical Pregnancy 6/16
BFP 9/16 EDD 6/3/17
Beta #1: 145 Beta #2: 376 Beta #3: 2,225 Beta #4: 4,548
www.5yearstonever.blogspot.com
Look he could be depressed, actually this screams depression to me. Here's the thing, you have a child to worry about. Your H sounds like his trigger for all this was having a child. I don't think he wants to be a parent. Look at the timeline you gave.