Family Matters
Dear Community,

Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.

If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.

Thank you.

Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.

demanding family

My husband and I have been married for almost two years and have had a great relationship so far. His parents have always been loving towards us both and we have a good relationship. My only problem with our relationship is that they can be demanding. There is a family wedding that we were supposed to attend but have decided against it as it is a long transit and we would have to spend the night somewhere close by.

I am currently attending university and exams are just a few days away. Two days away from home can negatively affect my study time and so we decided not to go. My father in law called last night however, and has stated that we 'have' to go. My husband has stood his ground and said 'we'll see'. What is the polite way to decline as well as how do we stop these demands and help them to understand that we are adults now and are entitled to make our own decisions.

Re: demanding family

  • How is saying "we'll see" standing your ground? What you need to do is firmly state that you will not be going. Decline to discuss the reasons any further. Yes, they are going to probably get pissy. They are used to being in a parental role telling their
  • Thanks WendyGR. We will be doing that today. I will post the outcome. It is definitely taking so getting used to. My parents are laid back people and so has been a culture shock for me.  

    They are otherwise very kind, thoughtful people

  • imageriana25:
    What is the polite way to decline as well as how do we stop these demands and help them to understand that we are adults now
    "Beer is living proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy."
    ~Benjamin Franklin

    Lilypie Third Birthday tickers
    DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10

  • imageWendyGR:
    It will take some adjustment getting used to new boundaries, but really it's as simple as calmly and nicely stating what
  • You have a HUSBAND problem.

    He needs to stand by you. And he needs to tell his father the subject is closed.
  • So let me get this straight? You RSVP'ed for a wedding, something that you knew about weeks in advance along with your class and exam schedule, and at the last minute you decline and you are SHOCKED at the backlash?

    granted, your FIL should not b

    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
  • how is saying "well see" the same as saying "no"? it's not. your DH needs to grow a spine. and you're adults NOW? why because you got married? no no no. you're adults when you act like them and can stick to decisions. you RSVPd to this wedding and the
    Friday, December 28 2012. The day I had emergency appendix surgery in Mexico and quit smoking. Proof that everything has a good side!! DH and I are happily child-free!! No due date or toddler tickers here!! my read shelf:
    Alison's book recommendations, favorite quotes, book clubs, book trivia, book lists (read shelf) 
  • My husband used to always played the "I'm not sure... we'll see... I'll let you know" card with his folks and it DOES NOT WORK!  It begs for an interrogation.

    ILs - "You have to go."  Husband - "No, unfortunately we can't make it."&nbsp

  • Just tell them you're not going and leave it at that.  Change the subject if they persist.

    That said, if you RSVP'd yes, it's really rude to back out at the last minute, especially due to a schedule you knew about when RSVPing.  I hope

    Image and video hosting by TinyPic Lilypie Third Birthday tickers Lilypie Pregnancy tickers
  • imageEastCoastBride:
    imageriana25:</stro
  • VORVOR member
    Eighth Anniversary 500 Love Its 500 Comments Name Dropper
    image-auntie-:

    But what I want to know is the status of your RSVP. If you committed to attending, you owe the couple to show up. If

  • We didn't get an invitation officially. My MIL called a few days before and told us we were invited. Apparently the family called her and said that the invitation extended to us as well. We told them that we were not sure and would have to discuss it b

  • imageriana25:

    We didn't get an invitation officially. My MIL called a few days before and told us we were invited. Apparently the famil

  • Yay! Thank you for the update!

    Wow, how rude they were being! 

Sign In or Register to comment.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards