Sister In Law

PolkadotAP · April 2013

My SIL and I get along but I feel we aren't close enough. MIL and I have issues I plan to remedy. SIL and I don't have a lot of the same hobbies or likes or views for that matter lol but I feel that I should atleast try to get a better and closer relationship with her. Any suggestions on how to start that? Should we just have 1 on 1 time or invite my DH (she is single)?

artbyallie · April 2013

If you don't have anything in common, why do you feel the need to force a relationship?

PolkadotAP · April 2013

honestly because I feel that I need to gain better relationships with DH family.

BulgariHeart · April 2013

You can't force a friendship only because she's your SIL. Be your nice self and if it's meant to be it will develop on its own over time.

WendyGR · April 2013

Not all ILs are super close. I really don't do anything 1 on 1 with my SIL and I've been married seven years. We get along fine but I have three sisters of my own plus other friends with whom I have more in common. We do go out occasionally with DH, SIL and me.

EastCoastBride · April 2013

BulgariHeart:
You can't force a friendship only because she's your SIL. Be your nice self and if it's meant to be it will develop on its own over time.

this. Honestly, having a civil, friendly relationship is often all you need. Remember, you married your DH, not his family. Don't force a closeness. Either it will happen in time or it won't. But forcing it will not help.

Golden42 · April 2013

EastCoastBride:
BulgariHeart:
You can't force a friendship only because she's your SIL. Be your nice self and if it's meant to be it will develop on its own over time.
this. Honestly, having a civil, friendly relationship is often all you need. Remember, you married your DH, not his family. Don't force a closeness. Either it will happen in time or it won't. But forcing it will not help.

This. Of DH's siblings and their partners, there's only one I have ever done anything with alone. The others I am friendly with when we see each other, and that's all you need.

TxCrazyMom · April 2013

If you want to get to know your SIL better, why not spend an afternoon shopping? I have no problems hanging out with my brother's wife, going shopping, getting drinks, whatever. We have little in common except my family, but it is FAMILY! It is also a good idea to get to know your husband's family before children come into the picture so you have an idea if you are comfortable with them as babysitters. My girls love going over to stay with my SIL for a week in the summer, and I love taking her kids in return!

doglove · April 2013

I agree that forcing a relationship is not really how you are going to gain a genuine relationship with this sister. Be respectful of who she is and perhaps one will develop naturally.

CowgirlK39 · April 2013

I tried to be close with my DBs wife. Like you I thought that because we were family we should be bffs. I realized that I really just can't stand her. Her whole essence is the opposite of me, and so I just settled with a fake smile and "hi how are you" when they are in town. Just because you aren't calling and texting each other all day every day doesn't mean you don't have a relationship. Just be nice and pleasant and that will be the extent of it.

mjcharpe · May 2013

EastCoastBride:
BulgariHeart:
You can't force a friendship only because she's your SIL. Be your nice self and if it's meant to be it will develop on its own over time.
this. Honestly, having a civil, friendly relationship is often all you need. Remember, you married your DH, not his family. Don't force a closeness. Either it will happen in time or it won't. But forcing it will not help.

All of this!

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