Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Party hijacking -- am I crazy?
Let me preface this by saying that DH's extended family isn't particularly close. We pretty much see them on the occasional holiday, plus showers/weddings/significant birthdays.
So DS's first birthday party is coming up in a couple of weeks. It's going to be fairly low-key, at our house, but we're having a lot of people and I'm really excited about it.
Last night, DH's cousin's wife emails him to RSVP that they're coming to the party. Great. Except she asked if she could bring a cake for her husband's birthday to "embarrass him" at the party.
I immediately said helll no. I'm sorry, but this is my baby's first birthday, and I think we're completely entitled to keep it all about him. Plus it's going to be my family and our friends as well, so not as though it's just a group of DH's family members. Honestly, I'm annoyed that she asked, because there's no way for us to tell her no without looking like jerks. We're going to anyway, and I don't really care if they think we're jerks, but I don't think we should have been put in that situation in the first place.
Am I being unreasonable?
Re: Party hijacking -- am I crazy?
Ditto this exactly.
#1 12.11.11
#2 10.23.13 EDD
thritto
That is odd as hell.
At Milo's first p's cousin and aunt showed up with friends we never met. I thought it was the oddest thing.
100%
Ugh, I wouldn't feel bad about saying no to them. Seriously, I can't even believe she would ask.
As someone who doesn't have kids, even I agree that is shameful!
Plan your own party, bish!!
Also, who gets embarrassed by a cake?
DD: 6-24-11
EDD: 9-20-14
If I were him I'd be embarrassed. By her request!!! And the fact that she's asking a whole bunch of people who don't know him to celebrate his birthday. Oh heck no.
That said. My son arrived the day before my mom's surprise party last year. Due to how scary it all was the party was cancelled. So I will have a cake for her at my son's first birthday party.
Thank you all for agreeing with me -- just needed a sanity check. I think the embarrassment would maybe be just that she'd be surprising him with this cake when he wasn't expecting it? I don't freaking know.
DH sent a very nice email back that was basically a veiled "hell no" and she seems to completely understand. Although if she really completely understood, she wouldn't have asked in the first place.
Oh, in-laws.
So glad your DH took care of it.
My daughter's bday is August 8, and on my mom's side I have a cousin who is August 6 and an uncle who is August 5. Neither of their families have had parties or anything for them the past couple of years, yet my grandmom has asked at both my daughter's first and second birthday parties if she could bring a cake and have that part of the family quietly sing to those two at the party, separate from the big Happy Birthday people sing to my daughter. Year one I said no, and my mom talked to my grandmom on my behalf. Last year grandmom brought the cake and never did the singing or ate it- guess she realized it was a weird situation- and people were asking me why there was a random cake with other peoples' names on it sitting on a table. Maybe I'm a jerk, but I just felt like I went to the "trouble" to plan a big party for MY child, and the party included more than just that side of my family- so why should other birthdays just kind of jump in?!